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Cow Theory: Economics Version

 
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Got from a friend's mail. Enjoy...
BANGLADESH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
One is Khaleda and one is Hasina.
You worship one of them when one is in power.
And make comb out of horn (which is not in power).
And the bureaucrats get the meat.
and USA wants the gas produced by the dung.
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You dont have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid,
Britain for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology,
France for submarines, Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100
years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images
called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine
productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
 
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HOLLYWOOD ECONOMICS
You have two cows
The cows declare to be lesbian cows
Porn industry creates lesbian cow movie and suddenly we learn 10% of cow population is lesbian.
 
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BOLLYWOOD ECONOMICS
You have two cows
You declare it to be original Bollywood cows.
And actually two cows are replica of Hollywood cows.
 
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Not that simple anymore. So:
Modern german economies
You have two cows
You think it would be nice idea to make them live 100 years
You design nice powerpoint presentation
You present powerpoint presentation to get state subventions
You present powerpoint presentation to get federal subventions
You present powerpoint presentation to get EU subventions
You buy 20 italian suits in outlet and new Mercedes/BMW to be taken serious
You try to get invited to those endless talk shows about bad economics and brag about you know how bring country back on track
Your mother watches you in TV with italian suit (carreer goal reached)
You drive around with Mercedes, smile and enjoy envy of all thos unemployed (career goal reached)
You employ freshman from university to let him make cow live 100 years and 1 very experienced expert in national tax law to protect money from bureaucrats who gets paid triple of freshman from university
a) it does not work: (95% probability)
- You declare bankrupcy
b) it works (5% probability)
- you lay of freshman from university, because work is done
- you buy 20 other companies from all sorts of countries to start global business
- you have no clue what to do with all this companies, but now you can travel a lot
- because there is no clue in companies management you declare bankrupcy
[ August 15, 2003: Message edited by: Axel Janssen ]
 
Ashik Uzzaman
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Open Source Economies
You have two cows. You think these cows are demanding too much grass and so open up the skins and bones of one of those and keep up the other one for your livelihood. Then you buy a baby cow and nurture that cow in improving your newly gathered knowledge to eat as less grass possible produing as much dung as feasible. But you also let your neighbours use their knowledge to build up this cow as a more fertile one. And once you declare this cow is better than the other cow you kept earlier and invite your neighbours in a dinner to eat that one up. Suddenly you find your baby cow started demanding more grass and you eat that one as well in another dinner. You go to the market to buy the old cow again.
---Ashik
 
With a little knowledge, a cast iron skillet is non-stick and lasts a lifetime.
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