• Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
programming forums Java Mobile Certification Databases Caching Books Engineering Micro Controllers OS Languages Paradigms IDEs Build Tools Frameworks Application Servers Open Source This Site Careers Other all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
Marshals:
  • Campbell Ritchie
  • Liutauras Vilda
  • Junilu Lacar
  • Jeanne Boyarsky
  • Bear Bibeault
Sheriffs:
  • Knute Snortum
  • Tim Cooke
  • Devaka Cooray
Saloon Keepers:
  • Ron McLeod
  • Stephan van Hulst
  • Tim Moores
  • Tim Holloway
  • Carey Brown
Bartenders:
  • Piet Souris
  • Frits Walraven
  • Ganesh Patekar

Adopting my Daughter

 
lowercase baba
Posts: 12766
51
Chrome Java Linux
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Why China...


That is an excellent question, although not an easy one to answer. My wife is a lawyer, and used to work (among aother places) in the Family Courts. The stated mission of the courts here is basically "Family re-unification". That means that if we took in a foster child (which is required to adopt domestically), you could have that child for a year before the adoption is finalized.

at just about ANY point in that period, if the birth parents decide they want their child back, they win, almost garanteed. So you've spend a year bonding with this person, whom you've grown to love and they now love you, and you never see them again.

There was also the issue of the (granted small) chance of running into the birth parents.

At the time, we knew three couples who had all adopted from China, through the same agency. So when we started thinking about it, that just seemed the natural thing to do. We looked at other countries (my wife has some Russian heritiage, so that was also considered). When it came down to it, things like the number of trips, the time spent in the other country, and cost were all factors as well.

Plus, once we got to that stage when we could see the photos of the kids, we instantly feel in love with one, and at that point nothing was gonna stop us from getting her.
 
fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Posts: 12766
51
Chrome Java Linux
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
don't know if anyone is still interested in our story, but my wife created a new blog at the beginning of the year. there are more photos there than anyone would want to look at, but they are here:

http://rosenblogger2k6.blogspot.com

Jim, that should make you happy we now have the double 'g'.

Olivia is doing wonderful. of course, we're in the middle of potty training, so you know THAT's a lot of fun. She's actually doing pretty well - i really have nothing to complain about.

What amazed me most is how quickly she picks up language. ever day she shocks us with not just new words, but new phrases and concepts. and kids have a way of saying something perfectly innocent that ends up being the funniest thing you've ever heard.
 
Greenhorn
Posts: 23
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Beautiful photos, Fred.
Potty training!! All the Best.
 
fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Posts: 12766
51
Chrome Java Linux
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Olivia, or Liver as i call her, had her team visit last week. there is a cleft palatte team here in st. louis we go to, where they have about 15 doctors who all coordinate together. Plastic surgeon, ENT, hearing and speech pathologist, genetecist, psychologist... and on and on.

we went on friday about 8am, and over the course of 3 hours, saw 9-10 of them (all we needed to see). Liv is doing great, with two minor exceptions.

1) she has some slight speech issues, common among cleft palate kids. We're going to have the school district evaluate her, and start some speech therapy.

2) she has a cavity. We brush her teeth every night, don't give her (much) candy, almost never give her fruit juice... but she has a visible cavity on her big left top incisor.

we've done a little research, and we're learning that many adopted chinese children have bad teeth. since many of their biological mothers suffer from poor nutrition, the enamel never forms properly on their baby teeth, making them very soft. we read of one mother who's daughter had all but 2 of her teeth capped by the time she was 5.

usually, the adult teeth come in much better, as they've been getting better nutrition once adopted.

we're about to go to the dentist, where we hope she ONLY has one cavity...
 
rubbery bacon. crispy tiny ad:
Building a Better World in your Backyard by Paul Wheaton and Shawn Klassen-Koop
https://coderanch.com/wiki/718759/books/Building-World-Backyard-Paul-Wheaton
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!