Win a copy of Machine Learning for Business: Using Amazon SageMaker and JupyterE this week in the Jython/Python forum
or Object Design Style Guide in the Object-Oriented programming forum!
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
programming forums Java Mobile Certification Databases Caching Books Engineering Micro Controllers OS Languages Paradigms IDEs Build Tools Frameworks Application Servers Open Source This Site Careers Other all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
Marshals:
  • Campbell Ritchie
  • Bear Bibeault
  • Paul Clapham
  • Jeanne Boyarsky
  • Knute Snortum
Sheriffs:
  • Liutauras Vilda
  • Tim Cooke
  • Junilu Lacar
Saloon Keepers:
  • Ron McLeod
  • Stephan van Hulst
  • Tim Moores
  • Tim Holloway
  • Carey Brown
Bartenders:
  • Joe Ess
  • salvin francis
  • fred rosenberger

You Might be Suffocating in a Constipated Bureaucracy If...

 
Ranch Hand
Posts: 1871
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
It is impossible to obtain a commitment, enact change, or even voice an opinion.

Every project has a schedule before it has a plan.

Your managers hire experts but ignore their advice.

Your boss believes he or she can bully you into working harder.

Employees are treated like second-class retards, and contractors are treated like they have a brain pan.

Your boss looks like John(Jim) Kerry.

Your boss has several skincare products on his or her desk but no visible sign of work.

You have the same computer as your boss' secretary.

Your boss has a flat-panel monitor but you don't.

When you give your boss an Etch A Sketch as a Holiday present, he doesn't laugh.

You are toiling away on weekends for free, but your boss waits until Monday to yell at you because you didn't magically complete the work by his arbitrary deadline.

All the job titles in your department are Programmer I, Programmer II, or Programmer III, and the only tool you're supplied is a compiler.

Your manager was an accountant in a previous life and believes every problem can be solved with more documentation and more scheduling.

Your training budget is non-existent, so you have never made a fool of yourself at Cheetah's in Las Vegas during Comdex at the company's expense.
Your boss has never bought you a "Warp Core Breach."

Meetings have no agenda and never seem to accomplish anything.

Your boss always tells you about programming with punch cards to prove he used to be a good programmer and therefore knows more about your job than you do.

Your boss has programmed in COBOL.

You are still working on the same code base as the day you started.
The software you heroically wrote earned the company $10,000,000 but you got only a four-percent raise.

All of the best programmers have to get promoted to manager to earn more money.

Managers drive the most expensive cars, and the Saturn-to-sports-car ratio is greater than the programmer-to-non-programmer ratio.

Your last vacation did not involve a plane ticket.

You don't know in which month Comdex occurs and have never been.

You are definitely suffocating in a constipated bureaucracy if your CIO or CTO thinks you are too busy to join a users' group�after hours.

UML modeling is considered "drawing pictures."

Your manager stands at the door and looks at his watch when you arrive in the morning.

You still wear a suit to work.

Your boss thinks a picture of Satan is a nice resemblance to himself.

Your manager is the best looking person on the team.

The company coffee blend tastes like pencil shavings.

You actually have a scheduled amount of break time before and after lunch.

The computer tech gets promoted to director of software development because he looks good in a suit.

You have never seen your boss drunk.

Your boss opens every meeting with golf anecdotes.

And lastly, you must be suffocating in a constipated bureaucracy if video games and instant messaging are not permitted.

source http://www.codeguru.com/vb/gen/vb_misc/gamesandfun/article.php/c7967/
[ September 17, 2005: Message edited by: Sameer Jamal ]
 
Ranch Hand
Posts: 299
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Originally posted by Sameer Jamal:


The computer tech gets promoted to director of software development because he looks good in a suit.


Frankly, this happened to a company that I used to work for a while ago. It was a family run business and the old man was so impressed with an employee from the hardware department that he promoted him to Manager,Director and a CIO(all in a span of 2 years). The company had 500 employees and 50 of them were in IT.
 
Ranch Hand
Posts: 5390
1
Spring Java
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Originally posted by Anand Prabhu:
Frankly, this happened to a company that I used to work for a while ago. It was a family run business and the old man was so impressed with an employee from the hardware department that he promoted him to Manager,Director and a CIO(all in a span of 2 years). The company had 500 employees and 50 of them were in IT.



I feel that education has nothing to do with the position you hold ..

Good looking also might be one reason for promoting but only good looking is impossible nobody(specially if it is a family run business) put his money on anyone if he does not see any returns.

Now looking good is different from impressive presonality. And impressive personality always helps in making better contacts with others and getting more business.

I doubt that just good looking could be reason for promotion for anyone, anywhere (oh... please forget the modelling industry )
 
Ranch Hand
Posts: 2166
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
- they are switching boss every 3 month
- There is a common saying among them: An internal was never found guilty for anything here. That's what externals for.
- you find yourself discussions like the following with the internal project manager:
Me: There is no test system for legacy app a.
She: There must be.
Me: I have verified and talked with 4 people.
She: Sure there is.
Me: but its not.
She: Its there.
Me: Lets schedule a meeting with a neutral technical expert to settle that issue clear.
She: Its not necesary.
Me: Or I will leave right now.
The meeting has taken place. After 1 hour of intense discussions among 3 members of the human race it was decided that there were no test system. I've not worked for that customer the last 3 month. I might have lost them.
[ September 19, 2005: Message edited by: Axel Janssen ]
 
High Plains Drifter
Posts: 7289
Netbeans IDE VI Editor
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Sigh, let's move this to Jobs Discussion.
 
Sheriff
Posts: 6037
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Originally posted by R K Singh:

I feel that education has nothing to do with the position you hold ..



In a good company, it shouldn't, capability should be the motivating factor, which, depending on the person and role, may only losly correlate to education. :-)

--Mark
 
Ranch Hand
Posts: 287
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator


Every project has a schedule before it has a plan.



Heh, that's funny.

Funnier if I hadn't been at a client that did exactly that. But still funny.
 
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was a tiny ad.
Java file APIs (DOC, XLS, PDF, and many more)
https://products.aspose.com/total/java
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!