stop asking these questions now...

[ankur rathi]

    
I hope u  enjoy this interview.
 
Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind ... but we give different, tailored and suitable answers to the interviwee! 
 
1. Why did you apply for this job? 
 
I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now. 
 
2. Why do you want to work for this company? 
 
I have to work for some c ompany who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind. 
 
3. Why should I hire you? 
 
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try. 
 
4. What would you do if this happened? 
 
Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation... 
 
5. What is your biggest strength? 
 
Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company 
 
6. What is your biggest weakness? 
 
Girls 
 
7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn fr om it? 
 
Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today 
 
8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of? 
 
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there. 
 
9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it? 
 
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that. 
 
10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job? 
 
For the same reason why you left your earlier job 
 
11. What do you want from this job? 
 
If no work is given but keep giving good hikes 
 
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them? 
 
Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs 
 
13. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us? 
 
Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through your website 
 
14. What is the salary expected and how do justify that? 
 
Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry standard 
 
(I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%)  

[Zip Ped]

The first few were really good man...

[Srikanth Raghavan]

Man oh... Man....

Those answers were awesome....

I am rolling, rolling rolling....



But rathi ji, you posted those answers in 'code' tags which made it worse for reading... Just let me help my fellow ranchers now by posting them as ordinary text... OK,! Now that I have helped, can I apply for a moderators position here? I would like the delete the threads of those guys who deleted my thread....

And by the way, here's a more readable version... I hope this post won't get deleted...

[Srikanth Raghavan]

But then I found out Java Ranch didn't allow you to post that normally....

[Rohitt Vermaa]

9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?

Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

I like this the most...

[Burkhard Hassel]

Hi ranchers,


really funny!
I'd hire you!


Honesty is your strength, so you can work at any please (except management).

May I add two variations?




5B. What is your biggest strength?


Ehem, errrr.. .
(looking up)

well...

(scratches ear)

mh....


(leaves chair, walk to the window, looks out)

I'd say...

(turns towards the interviewer again)

say...

(scratches other ear)


yes I'd really say:



(closes eyes)


ehem


(opens eyes again and looks at interviewer)



Quick-wittedness!






6B. What is your biggest weakness?


My second biggest weakness is girls.
I cannot tell you what my biggest weakness is, otherwise
first: you wouldn't hire me and
second: I would be a parole violation if I did.




12B. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

I'm interested in working with people and find out who they are and what are there goals, dreams, strengths and so on.
So, would you please stand up an let me sit in your chair - please?


Yours,
Bu.

[Michael Van]

Hmm.. You know, I had this one super-sexy looking tech interview (girl), and I failed to answer any questions at all. In the end, she asked me "Do you have any questions for me?" So, I asked her out. She said no. Funny, I didn't get an offer letter, but I figured I wasn't gonna get one anyway, so what the heck! You only live once!

[James Wenchen]

Originally posted by Michael Van:
Hmm.. You know, I had this one super-sexy looking tech interview (girl), and I failed to answer any questions at all. In the end, she asked me "Do you have any questions for me?" So, I asked her out. She said no. Funny, I didn't get an offer letter, but I figured I wasn't gonna get one anyway, so what the heck! You only live once!

Keep up the good work

[Rohitt Vermaa]

Originally posted by Michael Van:
[QB]Hmm.. You know, I had this one super-sexy looking tech interview (girl)QB]

I am very unfortunate.
I am always interviewed by old men only.

[Chetan Parekh]

I guess we should have this thread in MD - we can have more fun then.