Hi Kevin,
Sorry, I am really of little help here. I lived in
Maarssen which is a very small village (40 thousand people in the greater Maarssen area) about 40 minutes by train from Amsterdam. Conveniently for me it was only 10 minute bike ride to work and 1/2 hour bike ride to the city of
Utrecht - which is where I went if I wanted to go to the city. I rarely ventured in Amsterdam - it really didn't hold that big an attraction for me.
So, for a start I was in a small village, so my costs would have been significantly different from those in any city. In addition this was all back in the days of the Guilder - long before the Euro came out.
As for transportation - I strongly recommend against getting a car. Most Dutch people I knew had 2 bikes: the �10 commuter for work (I assume that would be close to �5) and a
good bike (often in excess of �1000) for riding around on weekends. Holland is built for biking - it is rare that you have to share the bike lane with anybody except other bicyclists, and car drivers are very much aware of, and very good with bicyclists.Side note: there are also a lot of Dutch people who have 2 commuter bicycles - 1 to get them to the railway station in the morning, and another one at the destination railway station to get them between there and work
Both the trains and bus systems are extremely reliable (or at least they were when I was there). I can remember laughing at people who would get very irate if the trains were as much as 2 minutes late. When you consider that trains have to mesh perfectly so that the international trains continue to run on time, it is not so surprising.
Which brings me to my other point about not having a car: it is really easy to jump between countries on a train or plane, usually far more convenient, and far cheaper. Why get a car when you have the problems of huge taxes for cars, dealing with different road rules in different countries, and trying to find parking spaces in different countries (not to mention around Holland - it is extremely difficult to find parking in most suburban areas). Save yourself a huge amount of money and stick with the good reliable public transport!
As to some of your other questions - I think rent for me was around �1000 a month for a really nice, fully furnished, 2 bedroom apartment in a nice part of a nice village. Obviously this was some time ago, and if you are going for a single bedroom apartment or a studio apartment, or non fully furnished, or you are going to share ... this is all going to change.
I really don't remember how much internet and telephone were. Entertainment was relatively cheap - �10 for a movie, �15 - �20 for a good meal out (and there are some great restaurants in Holland).
Hopefully someone who has more recent knowledge and/or more local to where you want to live can give better ideas on costs.
Regards, Andrew
Seriously, there is no perfect answer to that. Both countries have good points that the other does not. 
