How to deal with this embrassing situation?

[Suresh Sachin]

I am basically a very jolly guy working as a software engineer.By nature I tend to laugh loudly and giggle for very silly and funny things for which others wont laugh.Even if I hear some joke I used to think about the joke and laugh for the next 5 minutes

Now coming to my story.I have a manager and my manager used to respect me and smile or wish me whenever he sees me.My manager last week was giving a presentation in the meeting.There are around 10 people in my team.I was focussing on the presentation when suddenly my concentration was disturbed by a bomb like sound which ripped through the room.The reason being my Manager had dropped a loud fart.

As I had mentioned earlier I am a jolly person.So I started laughing and giggling uncontrollably.Others were acting as if nothing had happened.But when they saw me laughing some of them couldn't control their laughter and they also covered their mouth with their hands and started laughing.My manager starred at me in an angry manner but still I couldn't control it.Then he resumed the presentation.After some time this incident again flashed in my mind so again I started giggling and he noticed it and again starred at me.

Now he no longer respects me or wishes me.Even if I pass before him he acts as if he has not seen me.

How should I deal with the situation?How should I cool him.?I don't think I can go and apologize to him because I may again start laughing in front of him.

Please help with your ideas.

[Nitin Gitz]

hi suresh,
My View:
1. never apologize, till you don't feel sorry.
2. If you feel sorry, you won't laugh while apologizing. you sure should apologize for embarrassing someone in front of so many people.

so decide first, and then go ahead.

[Vikas Kapoor]

Nitin, It's not like that he doesn't want to apologize or say sorry.He knows vey well what's wrong he has done but he is having 'such a problem' that he can't resist the laugh eventhough he wants to resist it. And i think he is mature.

Suresh, I can understand your situation. My suggestion is don't go to say sorry as there is a chance of laughing again and hence put you in more critical situation. I suggest work as normally as you work everyday. Interact with your manager normally.Quickly complete your work with him and leave the cabin. Time will automatically solve this.

Suresh, Did you find this thing unusual in yourself? Have you ever thought about that?
[ May 26, 2008: Message edited by: Vishal Pandya ]

[Rambo Prasad]

Suresh,

I think as Vishal said time will give the healing touch...
I couldn't resist my giggle after reading your post

Don't worry too much about this and continue laughing..Laughter is the best medicine...

[Kj Reddy]

@Suresh,
I agree with Vishal that time will solve your problem. As long as you do your work at your best, slowly things will move to better. In my opinion at least for the second time you might have controlled your laugh. You should give a thought on how to avoid these things in future.

Good Luck
[ May 26, 2008: Message edited by: KJ Reddy ]

[Ram Deshpande]

This is funniest post, I ever seen before.
Sachin, Go ahead and apologize / talk with your manager and break the ICE.
I feel your behavior is not respectful / immature / unprofessional towards your manager.
Also Learn from Mistakes.

-Ram

[Sai Surya]

If I were in your position, soon after that incident instead of laughing infront of everyone, I will just go out for a while and laugh like hell. Once I am done with that I will come back to presentation.

I can understand that whenever you see him you will laugh. Because even I cannot control laughter while writing this in my office

You don't have to apolozie for anything, I don't see any mistake in your part. However, your manager's ego got hurt.

Just stay calm and time is the best medicine for this kind of incidents.
Don't forget to laugh!!!

[Jeanne Boyarsky]

Originally posted by Sai Surya:
You don't have to apolozie for anything, I don't see any mistake in your part. However, your manager's ego got hurt.

Not a mistake, but for the future isn't working on suppressing laughing a useful skill? I used to have this problem. I found something that distracted my "laugh muscles" - it's rubbing my tongue against the roof of my mouth. I don't know why it works, but it does. So I don't laugh inappropriately in meetings.

[Rambo Prasad]

Suresh,

I would suggest you not to stop laughing.Because if you keep laughing your manager will observe this and think that laughing is your natural attribute.But if you stop laughing then he may think that you laughed on that specific occasion just to insult him...So don't try controlling your laughter
[ May 27, 2008: Message edited by: Rambo Prasad ]

[Ilja Preuss]

I'd assume that it would improve your relationship with the manager if you let him know that you are sorry for having laughed about him. And least in the cultures I'm used to.

If you are worried about having to laugh again, you can try to prepare for it. Write down what you want to say. Rehearse it.

Or, if everything else fails, write him a letter or email.

[Deepak Bala]

Why not write an email about it ? That way you can avoid laughing in front of his face. I dont think you were laughing just because you have an uncontrollable problem. I think I would have laughed as well. Perhaps you are attributing your behavior at that point to the problem.

This is by far the funniest post I have read in JD.

[arulk pillai]

Be open about it in explaining your weakness and let him know that you are working on it. I need to make sure that I am not reminded of this in my next meeting
[ May 27, 2008: Message edited by: arulk pillai ]

[Ilja Preuss]

Originally posted by John Meyers:
Why not write an email about it?

Well, there is a danger in email (and written communication in general) - it's missing a lot of information (tone of voice, facial expression, body language, to name just a few), which makes it much easier to be misunderstood. That's why I'd always prefer face-to-face communication, especially for delicate topics.

Email would probably still be better than no communication at all, though. It could also be used as a preparation for a face-to-face conversation.

[Rambo Prasad]

If you want to control your laughter try biting your tongue with your teeth....It works for me..

[Billy Tsai]

its time to start writing your resignation letter

[Deepak Bala]

Originally posted by Billy Tsai:
its time to start writing your resignation letter

aww come on ! This is just a little incident. I dont think it warrants a resignation. I am hoping you were joking

[Luke Kolin]

Originally posted by John Meyers:
aww come on ! This is just a little incident. I dont think it warrants a resignation. I am hoping you were joking

It only warrants a resignation if the OP has plans on ever getting anywhere in his current company while his manager remains there. If he is happy going absolutely nowhere then no action is needed.

Cheers!

Luke

[arulk pillai]

This does not warrant a resignation but a damage control exercise. You can be more closely monitored and need to take concious effort to build your rapport again.

[Ernest Friedman-Hill]

This too, shall pass.

[Ilja Preuss]

Last time I looked, most managers around me where human, and most humans react quite positive to honest apologies. I've even seen people developing an *improved* relationship after such an incident, because it caused them to actively work on their relationship instead of just taking it for granted.

The situation might be different where you live, of course.

[Sandip Sankeshwar]

1)Find the costliest restaurant in your city.
2)Invite manager and his family for dinner there.
3)Allow him to drink as much Vodka,Whisky.
4)Make a joke on yourself so that manager will laugh loudly.
5)Quickly respond "I too laughed like this that day.Sorry for that"
If this does not work,start searhing for another company.

[Edvins Reisons]

My reading of this story is that after the incident, it is the manager who is in a difficult, embarrassing etc. situation and who may be considering moving out of this professional context.

[Jimmy Clark]

Very inconsiderate behavior. Poster should start looking for positions elsewhere and begin working on dealing with his/her psychological problem.

[Ben Souther]

Originally posted by Ernest Friedman-Hill:
This too, shall pass.