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College girl writes home

 
Ranch Hand
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Dear Mom and Dad:
It has been six months since I left for college. I'm sorry I haven't
written more often and I'm very sorry for my unthoughtfulness. I'm sure you
have been worried about me. Let me bring you up to date, but before you read
on, please sit down OK? Don't read any
further
unless you're sitting down. OK? Good.
I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I
got from jumping out of the window of my dormitory when it caught on fire
several months ago, are pretty much healed now. I only spent two weeks in
the hospital! Mom always said the girls in our family heal fast. In fact,
I can almost see normally again and I only get headaches three times a day
now. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by a
gas station attendant who immediately called 911. He's so sweet. He even
visited me in the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the
burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with
him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He really is a
good person with a kind heart. We have fallen deeply in love and are
planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but I'm sure
that it will be before I start to show. That's right, Mom and Dad, I'm
pregnant! I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents,
and I know that you will give that baby the same love, devotion and tender
care you gave me when I was growing up. We would get married now but we
both failed our premarital blood tests because of some minor infection. He
told me about before hand, but dumb me, I carelessly caught it anyway. Not
to worry though, the doctor said my daily penicillin injections should
clear it up by next month. I know you will welcome him into our family with
open arms. He is kind, and although not well educated, he is ambitious --
just like Dad! Also, he is of a different race and religion than ours, but
I know, after all your years of teaching me tolerance, that you won't mind
the fact that he is somewhat darker than we are. I'm sure you will love him
as I do. His family background is good too! I am told that his father is an
important gun bearer in his native African village. That's an important
government potion where he comes from. Well, I guess that's all! Now you
know why I wanted you to sit down when you read this letter. Now that I've
brought you up to date, I just wanted to let you know there was no dormitory
fire, I didn't suffer a concussion or a skull fracture, I wasn't in the
hospital, I'm not pregnant, I'm not engaged, I don't have syphilis and
there is no boyfriend of another race or religion in my life; however, I
DID vote for Governor Bush, and I just wanted you both to see this in its
proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
-Chelsea
PS Stanford is great... I love it, though I miss you both terribly..and
Socks, too!
P.S.S. Dad, please give my best to Monica and the others.

 
"The Hood"
Posts: 8521
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TOO Funny!!!
 
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Kewl, gal!!
well I guess i shudnt ve read thru de mail but den it was too tempting. I thought round for two days honest before I read it..
Regds
Gautham Kasinath
P.S. Boy I wish I was @ de fire scene..
 
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very good. i love the double sting at the end!
 
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gooooooooooood ooooooooooooooooone !!!
Shailesh.
 
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Whats ur Phone Number, college girl ?? we love your sense of rumour,oops, humour
Tintin
 
Roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems rhyme and some don't. And some poems are a tiny ad.
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