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At the gates of heavan (Its a joke!)

 
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One day at the gates of heavan, St. Peter is going thgough the line letting people in and he comes to the last three people in line.
St. Peter - Sorry guys but we've got a problem and can only fit one more of you in. What I'm willing to do is have you tell me how you died and whoever has the 'worst' death, we'll let pass.
First Guy - Well, it all happened when I got home from work. I've been suspecting my wife of having an affair and when I got home I saw this naked man hanging off my balcony. In a fit or rage I run over and start pounding on his finger to make him let go but that didn't seem to work so I run and grab my lighter and try burning him. Being succesful he falls the 10 floors to the ground but manages to land in a bush and I can see he's still alive. Still not thinking straight I run and grab the refrigerator pick it up push it over the railing and watch it fall the 10 flights landing on top of the guy killing him. Now the problem is I messed up my balace while pushing the fridge and I fall off the gallery also, missing the bush and well.. here I am"
St. Peter - Hmm.. wow.. that's a tough one, okay well you'll have to step aside while I hear the others.
Second Guy - Well I had a rough day at the office so I got home and wanted to unwind, I put on some music took a shower to cool off, grabbed a brandy and walked out to my balcony to enjoy the fresh air. I was only wearing the towel from my shower because I live so high up in the building noone can see me. A sudden gust of wind kicked up and my towel flies over the balcony leaving me naked, as a reflex I grab for the towel but lose my balance and flip over my railing and fell (as I thought) to my death. The Lord must have been watching me because I happen to catch the railing of a neighbour a few floors lower than me. But all of a sudden this maniac comes running out of the house and he's pounding on my hands, I'm trying to hold on for dear life but he wont give up and comes back out of the house with a match or lighter and starts burning me. Try as I might I couldn't hold on and I fall the rest of the way to the ground. I TRULY must be blessed because I fall into a bunch of leafy bushes and my life is saved. Just before I can celebrate I look up and this fridge is falling from the sky.. *WHACK* it hits me right on the head and, well here I am.
St. Peter - Holy cow, that's a pretty bad one. As much as I would love to I can't make a decision until I hear the last guy.
Third Guy - Hmm well I don't know how to explain my predicament but... well okay.. picture this.. I"m sitting in a fridge...

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[This message has been edited by John Bateman (edited July 26, 2001).]
 
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