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I am really bored. Am Contemplating Suicide. At 24 , I have No GirlFriends, No Dates, No Fun, No Life. Just some good money in the Bank but thats no good if I am not Enjoying it. Just Work and Home and Work And Home. Is Suicide the only option or Can things get better ?? All Suggestions/Advices/Brickbats are welcome.
Life Sucks.Big Time.
Sad Tintin
[This message has been edited by Tintin Herge (edited August 08, 2001).]
 
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well, first of all, i hope you are not serious!
if you are, suicide is NOT AN OPTION! no matter how bad things seem to be. i do not have a girlfriend now because i am too busy with school and work to have a real social life... sure, it is depressing at times, but the sun will rise tomorrow.
i happen to believe that everything happens for a reason (to some extent) so when you are supposed to meet someone special, you will.
all in good time, Tintin.
 
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You can always buy women with your money.....
And suicide should almost never be an option. Certainly not for a perosn in your position.
 
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TinTin,
You have US !
Take a deep breath and repeat after me:
"this too shall pass . . . this too shall pass . . . this too shall pass"
Eventually you will look back and realize that this was just a pause in the zillions of wonderful things that are going to happen to you over the next 60 years.
What you really need is something meaningful in your life. It does NOT need to be a girl. Perhaps some volunteer work? Coaching a little league (great place to MEET girls - and they melt over guys that like to spend time with kids).
Perhaps you could start a computer club for the local school? You have lots of talents to share - and you would be suprised how many kids have not a clue what is out on the internet. Of course you can't show them EVERYTHING. . . . .
Just don't sit and brood about girls. Girls don't LIKE that in a guy. Work on being content with yourself and the right girl will just show up when you aren't looking for it.
 
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Originally posted by Tintin Herge:
I am really bored. Am Contemplating Suicide. At 24 , I have No GirlFriends, No Dates, No Fun, No Life. Just some good money in the Bank but thats no good if I am not Enjoying it. Just Work and Home and Work And Home. Is Suicide the only option or Can things get better ?? All Suggestions/Advices/Brickbats are welcome


Is it possible to:
-- cut back on work hours;
-- look into joining groups or clubs that do things that will interest you;
-- meet women during times with the above group(s)/club(s);
-- or spend your spare time on Internet dating? (I seem to remember seeing a post on this forum about someone finding his wife through Internet)
OK, cutting back on work hours may cause negatively impact on your bank account. But compared to being driven to suicide by boredom, fewer dollars in your pocket may just bring a whole lot more happiness in the end. Of course, you will have to open your eyes very wide and look very hard while out there using your spare time to socialize with female kind.
Once you have found the one that pulls your heart string, you may never want to go back to work all hours again.

[This message has been edited by Ling Wu (edited August 08, 2001).]
 
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Suicide should never be an option!!! This is from someone who thought about it twice in my life and I was probably very close to doing so but I have had a reason to do so. Actually I am glad it happened to me because I appreciate life a lot more now. Having no girlfriend/life/friends is really not the reason to commit a suicide. It is a reason why you should look back at your life and identify the problem and then correct it. Remmember one more thing. Money will give you sense of security but will NEVER give you happiness! Don't listen to Andy too. There are very few girls that you can buy and that really doesn't solve the problem.
So the solution is to identify the problem. What is really causing the fact the you don't have girlfriends/friends/life? Your appearance? You are not socializing enough? Why I said appearance first? Because no matter that this is 21 century and no matter that you think that people are looking beyond person's appearance, they are not!!! Majority of people out there are judging each other based on appearance and that is going to be like it or not. As they grow older appearance is becoming less and less important but you are still young. My addvice to you and to anyone is to invest in two things, mind and body. I am sure you invested a lot in your mind but you should invest a little bit in your body. It will make a difference! Trust me, girls come up to me and not the other way around. Actually, I am 26, junior in this field, who has just lost my job, no money on my account, but I am very very happy.
Another thing, socialize! A post above mine tells you what to do and you should follow that.
Understand that there are people on this world who are in much worse position than you are. There are people who wish to be in a position that you are. I can give you tens of examples so you understand that. Appreciate what are you given and make the best out of it.
J
 
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Dude, hang in there. I had to wait until 27 to get my first kiss, so I know something about how you feel.
It's good that you have money; it can be a great attractor for women. But more than that, it's CONFIDENCE. Of course, that's hard to get when you're down in the dumps. I wish I had some suggestions for gaining confidence. Look confident, feel confident?
Paul R
 
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It's funny...
Not the subject of someone ending his life, but the fact that most people I know (and that have replied here) have been in the same situation AT LEAST once in their life.
I've been depressed, had no luck with woman and wondered if it's just better if I got hit by a buss. But, I did actually what people said to do here. I made small changes to my life and lifestyle.
First off joined a gym and took martial arts. I am the biggest cheerleader for people getting ot agym or a sport. It's an amazing way to get lost in something that has positive results. (Unlike alcholol and drugs to lose yourself.)
The arts really helped get my frustrations out when I had those bad days. I didn't beat the hell out of anyone but I sure kicked th cr%p out of the dummy's at times. It's also the fact that I was getting my body into shape, it gave me confidence. Seeing myself going from having 260lbs of 'sop' and losing my breath climbing one flight of stairs, to hitting 230lbs of solid mass and competing in tournaments without dying does alot for once confidence.
Going out an meeting new poeple helped a hell of alot too. I did this diffrent ways. Hung out one night a week at a coffee house and just read a book. You eventually start to know the regulars and spark up conversations. It was also good just to be in public and not feel pressured to have to meet someone. I also started playing sports again and that jusst helped me deal wth people socially.
Biggest thing I can say to you, don't and I mean DO NOT put too much pressure on yourself. Just chill, keep yourself occupied (and NOT only by work) and you'll see. This passes.
Considering I was the poster child of introverted computer geeks with no social life. I am proud to say, 5 or so years later, my social life is great and I'm getting married on Dec 1, 2001 to my Girlfriend of 3 years, who I love dearly and who I know loves me back. the crazy ting is. it didn't take that 3 years for a turn around.. it happened quite quick once I just chilled and made some changes.
BTW, if you are the type of person (as I was) that had a hard time meeting people (not necessarily girls), you'll be surprised how far "Hi" can get you.
Good luck I'm sure you'll be fine.
By the way, if you feel it gets so bad that you really beleive that nothing will help you, talk to someone about it. Talk to your parents, a sibling, a close friend, relative or pretty much anyone you trust. You'll be surprised on the insight and support you can get from people in your life.
 
Paul Ralph
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I've been depressed, had no luck with woman and wondered if it's just better if I got hit by a buss.


Nice typo...I doubt Tintin would mind getting "hit by a buss." (not bus)
Paul R
 
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Oh dear Patel,
So you've been wanting a belle,
But don't wanna meet one in a motel!
In coding you excel,
But how about your smell,
Hope you aren't having the pheromones from hell!
If that makes you yell,
Remember everyone's life has a hot spell,
Just relax, and one day you'll hear your church's bell!

Ok, lemme be serious here. Sharad, going by your name, assuming you are from Gujarat, the land of Mahatma Gandhi, what better source of inspiration can there be, but the Mahatma himself? I am thinking about his principle of Brahmacharya: purity in thought, word, and deed - the practice of which will lead you to rise to a higher mental plane, where distractions to the senses will never sway you. You will experience a sense of profound peace and contentment. I say this from experience.
Here is an essay on the principles of Brahmacharya, from the celibacy point of view. This was written in the 1930s by Swami Sivananda, founder of the Divine Life Society. Some people (especially non-Indians) might find his views blunt/ racist/ downright crazy. But the essense of it is what matters - I find the essay quite inspiring.
All the best to you!

[This message has been edited by Manku Thimma (edited August 08, 2001).]
 
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Hey Tintin,
I really doubt you are speaking your mind here. Boredom cannot be a cause for comtemplating suicide unless a person is a manic depressive which I presume, from your posts, your are not. So hang on there, you may be bored to death....that I do not suspect for it is not a uncommon phenomenon among humans. Guy, I guess London offers varities of exciting getaways for all. Sit at the sidewalk cafe and take in the atmosphere....who knows,you may find someone trying to catch your eye. Loiter around in some chic shopping mall. If you have a motorbike, escape to the green countryside and do not forget to take your camera along. These are just a few tips to pull yourself away from ennui of the moment.
 
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bite me tintin... im 48 and havent been laid in over 10 years 20 years since it was with someone that loved me. you are being stupid. if i went with your ideas i would be dead now. sure i hate being alone and noone loves me but i aint killed myself yet.. BTW I'm unemployed too and drive a shit car so women dont even look at me. If you think you got it bad you are wrong.
 
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No Girlfirends, No Dates are the reason for ur sucide? Its hard to believe. What is wrong with u? Get control over yourself man.
If u feel like this, try to engage urself in some other activities as suggested by all others.
As regards to girlfriends, i guess there million girls wanting to be friends with a charming, intelligent guy like u. Go get them. Sitting at home no gal is gonna come to u.


[This message has been edited by Aakanksha Sawhney (edited August 08, 2001).]
 
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Suicide is not such a bad thing. I have committed suicide several times and dont feel the least bit worse for it. And dont listen to what Thinku Mama says. I read somewhere that the pheromone thing only works for cockroaches that is unless you want a lot of female cockroaches making sheep's eyes at you.

[This message has been edited by Sahir Shibley (edited August 09, 2001).]
 
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Finally we hear words of wisdom!
 
Manku Thimma
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>Get control over yourself man
He's been like this ever since you rejected his advances, Aakanksha. How many such young men's lives have you destroyed? He atleast hoped for a postcard from you.
>I have committed suicide several times
Sahir, did this start after you got married?
>Thinku Mama
That's a neat twist on my name; kinda relates to IBM
>I had to wait until 27 to get my first kiss
Dude, I am 29, and still haven't kissed any girl yet.
Here's what I plan to do, when I finally meet my kissee: Going for the lips directly seems too abrupt. First I will start somewhere below her right ear. After pushing away any strands of her hair vying to get into my mouth, I will slowly move up to the right ear, and start nibbling gently. After the entire ear has been adequately nibbled, I will embark on a journey to go where no man has ever been before (I'll assume that). My lips will now slowly glide over her cheek, touching her ever so lightly, with my deep hot breath blowing on her skin. Now instead of heading for her lips, I will steer myself slightly to the North, and reach her nose. After a brief pitstop at the tip of her nose, I will proceed to her virgin left ear, and start nibbling it. That done, the reverse journey will now start. This time, I will be slowly gliding from her left cheek, to the right cheek, over her lips, but not stopping there. I will be paying special attention to the terrain over her lips, and will get a feel for it. And now it's time to make the grand landing. My lips shall glide over from her right cheek, gently decelerating, until it comes to rest on top of her lips. There'll be a few moments of silence at this point, to sink in the sensation. Next, I will be starting to rub noses, and at the same time, rub our lips too. Slowly her lips will part, and she will gently moan. I will then start nibbling her lips...

[This message has been edited by Manku Thimma (edited August 09, 2001).]
 
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Oh... Its Boring...!!!
 
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Tintin - if you kill yourself, you are only giving up hundreds of opportunities that might be coming your way today, tomorrow or the next week! Not to mention that friend of yours might get to kiss your girl Do you want that to happen?
Seriously, I think only cowards kill themselves. I have no sympathy for them. Instead I like the ones who live and fight it out. As Aakanksha says, develop some hobbies and break the work/home monotony. Reading/Writing/Hiking/Biking/Dreaming... anything that is other than that J.O.B of yours.
What ever makes you think women look at your car? There may be some who does, but many value your personality, virtues and other unworldly things. If you're not convinced, go spend your "good money" and buy a sexy car. If you can't get girls even then, don't blame me
Good luck and hang in there. In the meantime read "Living for Dummies"...
 
Manku Thimma
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Originally posted by ThinkuMama's Kissee:
Oh... Its Boring...!!!


My dearie, you see, with so many kids getting into Java nowadays, and Javaranch not being rated by ICRA, I cannot really delve into the details, sweetie.
However, send me a mail, and we can discuss your wildest, kinkiest fantasies

[This message has been edited by Manku Thimma (edited August 09, 2001).]
 
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I can appreciate Tintin's distress, and I think everyone who has replyed has given some good advice. Having to much time to think can really be depressing, and not having companionship can be depressing also.
I guess sometimes I get down on myself, but Tintin there is always tomorrow and you never know what will happen. I always try and think of the things that I do have, and not what I dont(got that line from the movie Swingers). Kind of off topic..If you get a chance watch that movie "Swingers" you will understand what I am talking about.
I beleive things happen for a reason and that if you are good to others it will all come back to you. So enjoy what you have and keep following your dreams. Your life is worth something not only to yourself but to the people around you who love you..
Hope you are feeling better
Faisal
[This message has been edited by Faisal Dosani (edited August 09, 2001).]
 
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Life can only get better. Decide what you want and then go after it. Suicide is never the answer!
 
Manku Thimma
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Did I sound a wee bit crass in my previous post? Sorry. I have a deep and dark secret to share with all of you. I have suffered from chronic logorrhea. Yes. It is not infectious (don't know why the docs wore those space suit thingies, though). I think it should be safe, therefore you people can continue to visit the saloon.
That cleared up, here's more help for you Tintin
Read this article on NYT: Arranged Marriages, Minus the Parents.
And visit all these sites. Search for someone compatible. Who knows, you might find your lifemate here (those London desi chicks look good!)
 
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Hi TinTin,
Thinking about suicide only means your sane If you're bored, it's probably 'cause you are bored with yourself; and if you're bored with yourself you only end up boring others (I don't mean that to be hurtful, but if you notice, people only smile at you if you smile at them first).
Get out man, do some volunteer work, join a gym, golf, roller-blade, swim, whatever it takes. There must be something you enjoy doing; and if you don't know what, keep trying different things ... eventually something will click.
Cindy's right; "this too shall pass". And the great thing is it can pass while you stand in the same place ...


Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at 900 miles an hour.
It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned,
The sun that is the source of all our power.
Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour,
Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.
...
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!
Monty Python, The Galaxy Song



[This message has been edited by Jane Griscti (edited August 09, 2001).]
 
Eager Beaver
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I have committed suicide several times and dont feel the least bit worse for it


Who ever said Phoenix was imaginary...

I will steer myself slightly to the North
After a brief pitstop
the reverse journey will now start
I will be slowly gliding
but not stopping there
I will be paying special attention to the terrain
gently decelerating, until it comes to rest


Hey, Thinku Mama, formula 1 cars are single seater....wonder how you could squeeze in another person there....
 
Sahir Shibley
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Originally posted by Faisal Dosani:
I guess sometimes I get down on myself...


You must be a contortionist.

 
Greg Harris
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lol, sahir
 
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Tintin,
I would like to know how you are feeling now after a few days and all these comments (which are good and bad).
Hang in there, Nikki.
 
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Originally posted by Manku Thimma:
>
Here's what I plan to do, when I finally meet my kissee: Going for the lips directly seems too abrupt. First I will start somewhere below her right ear. After pushing away any strands of her hair vying to get into my mouth, I will slowly move up to the right ear, and start nibbling gently. After the entire ear has been adequately nibbled, I will embark on a journey to go where no man has ever been before (I'll assume that). My lips will now slowly glide over her cheek, touching her ever so lightly, with my deep hot breath blowing on her skin. Now instead of heading for her lips, I will steer myself slightly to the North, and reach her nose. After a brief pitstop at the tip of her nose, I will proceed to her virgin left ear, and start nibbling it. That done, the reverse journey will now start. This time, I will be slowly gliding from her left cheek, to the right cheek, over her lips, but not stopping there. I will be paying special attention to the terrain over her lips, and will get a feel for it. And now it's time to make the grand landing. My lips shall glide over from her right cheek, gently decelerating, until it comes to rest on top of her lips. There'll be a few moments of silence at this point, to sink in the sensation. Next, I will be starting to rub noses, and at the same time, rub our lips too. Slowly her lips will part, and she will gently moan. I will then start nibbling her lips...

[This message has been edited by Manku Thimma (edited August 09, 2001).]


Manku,
I think I read something similar in Penthouse. Did you get permission for a reprint?
-Peter
 
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Peter! You were reading Penthouse?! You KNOW you are restricted to reviewing Java Books only. How ARE you going to explain that to your son- should he ever learn to talk?
 
Manku Thimma
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>I think I read something similar in Penthouse
Hmmm, they must have been stealing my works again. I write for Playboy, and we've been lately plagued by all this plagiarism
Tintin, seeing that there's no acknowledgement from you, for all the comforting words of support that you've received, makes me wonder how sincere you were about contemplating suicide. Was this just another grand scheme to lure young innocent girls?
I can see how it'd work: a lot of girls visit the MD forum, without actually participating, and reading your post, they would immediately get the urge to write to you personally, their bosoms filled with maternal love. You would then, after some desultory conversation, slip in a "Would you like to go out tonight?"...
However, if you were indeed sincere, here's a surefire way to attract the attention of older women (women in their 30s). Go to any place in London where such species gather (would it be that place with all those pigeons?), and start humming the Simon & Garfunkel song 'Are you going to Scarborough Fair?'. You'll be surprised at the results!
 
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Where is TinTin By the way ? Hope he is reading (and can read !!) these.........
[This message has been edited by A Agrawal (edited August 17, 2001).]
 
Badriprasad Bumbabol
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Well Guys. What can i say ?? Am just overwhelmed by the response. Good news is that I am back to my normal self and out of the minor depression that I was in.
Its great to be a part of the JavaRanch Family.
Thanx again for your concern.
Tintin
 
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