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What should we do with bin Laden when we catch Him?

 
Greenhorn
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I vote to try him immediately via a public Military Tribunal with sentence to be carried out immediately and publically.
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Jon Ellison
Java Developer at Large
Laid off since 9/11/01
[This message has been edited by Jon Ellison (edited December 14, 2001).]
 
High Plains Drifter
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300,000 hours of community service, to be served at carnival dunking booths nationwide. He takes a job as a VB programmer writing Executive Information Summary software for Arthur Andersen. He will be fed nothing but bean burritos and Mountain Dew, and required to maintain a Microsoft LAN Manager network of Packard Bell PCs upgraded from DOS 6.2 to Windows for Workgroups.
He must (of course) handle all backups, and must persuade every employee to allow him to remove the games from their company system.
Every morning he must report to his supervisor who will ask precisely the same question every time: "Can we print?" He will directly report to anyone who stops by his cube looking for "this document so-and-so said you had." His chair will double as an Inbox. The other chairs in his work pod will be filled with boxes of hardware that he must catalog and store whereever that stuff is supposed to go.
Any food he puts in the refrigerator must be cleared out every five minutes or it will get eaten by the fat guy in Automated Delivery. He must also serve as the Recycling Officer and monitor office supplies (the key will be under the property control of the guy working graves).
In the time he has left over, he's on tech support for all Access databases and user-satisfaction issues. Every last Friday of the month he will round up any spare power cords and log them. At the end of each quarter, he will be required to appear in all-white attire and eat Nacho Cheese Doritos throughout the day; he may not use a napkin.
 
Sheriff
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What should we do with bin Laden? Ever see The Running Man?
 
Ranch Hand
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Do a Sex Change operation and Send him back to Afghanistan in an all-male Prison
 
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As he stands there in front of some private that just captured him the private just says "You're not worth the effort." Then shoots him in the head and walks away.
 
Author & Gold Digger
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Tintin Herge, that's a good one
Jon, a "Military Tribunal" is not public by definition and I don't think W intended the tribunal to be public when he decided to try that moron in it.
IMO, Bin Laden will never see what a US military Tribunal looks like. The problem is that if he is ever caught and tried, he'll get the death penalty which is not a good solution for such bastards. Michael's solution (300,000 hours of community service) is a much better idea. A good thing could be a prison somewhere lost in Alaska without any priviledges at all and 18 hours a day of hard labor.
For the human rights fighters, I'm of the idea that a "human" who does not respect the human rights cannot benefit from them after having behaved "badly". It's too easy to say "yes, but he is a human after all, thus, he has a right to be treated as a human." Bin Laden (and his firm moron believers) is far from being a human, he is something lower that "nothing", "something" that the world really doesn't need at all, "something" that has to be put aside.
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Valentin Crettaz
Sun Certified Programmer for Java 2 Platform
[This message has been edited by Valentin Crettaz (edited December 14, 2001).]
 
Ranch Hand
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Reminds me of a scene in The Shawshank Redemption.
Morgan Freeman: Looks like the sisters have takin a liken to you.
Tim Robins: Probably wouldn't help if I told them I wasn't a homosexual would it?
Morgan Freeman: No. They aren't homosexuals either. You have to be human first.
All a trial would do is make Bin Laden a martyr.
 
Valentin Crettaz
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All a trial would do is make Bin Laden a martyr.
Yep and that's not gooood !

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Valentin Crettaz
Sun Certified Programmer for Java 2 Platform
 
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He should be put into a Giant fish tank with thousands of Piranna's! (Piranna's are a fresh water fish in South America, that are small but have teeth like razorblades and eat Cows, and even humans when they get the chance!
 
Valentin Crettaz
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Erich,
death is not a good solution to get rid of such morons. As Joseph said it would only make "it" a martyr. Long-term hard-labor would be much better in my opinion...
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Valentin Crettaz
Sun Certified Programmer for Java 2 Platform
 
mister krabs
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"What should we do with bin Laden when we catch Him?"
Kill him, cremate him, and spread his ashes over Antartica.
 
Jon Ellison
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Well... after much thought and reflection I think that everyone who says we shouldn't Kill him is right... At least not right away... I think that we should first give him a bucket and a shovel and send him down to ground zero to clean up the mess he made and then when he is done... get him going on laying some bricks! Only when he has finished rebuilding the towers should we then punch his ticket and send him on to Allah to explain what he has done in his (Allah's) name...
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Jon Ellison
Java Developer at Large
Laid off since 9/11
 
Ranch Hand
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>spread his ashes over Antartica
And defile that pristine place? Are you nuts?
 
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Problem One:
We kill the bastard, make him a martyr and make all the self-hating Europeans against the death penalty look down upon us.
Problem Two:
We make the bastard do hard labour, and hopefully bully him into publicly apologizing before one of his buddies walks somewhere important with a bomb demanding bin Ladin's freedom.
What I think:
If we kill bin Ladin, he goes to Allah and will be happy (so he and his followers believe). Plus if any of the Europeans get him first they won't let us kill him. We won't really be able to do anything unpleasent to him without raising a cry from all the people who believe that he has basic rights as a human being (you can't get anything done with leftists these days chewing on your pants). We'd probably just have to let him rot in a high security prison. Alas, justice is not meant to be.
 
Valentin Crettaz
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Problem Two:
We make the bastard do hard labour, and hopefully bully him into publicly apologizing before one of his buddies walks somewhere important with a bomb demanding bin Ladin's freedom.


seeing it that way is a problem, I admit... But you'll never find a solution that suits everybody from left to right...
Whatever...


We won't really be able to do anything unpleasent to him without raising a cry from all the people who believe that he has basic rights as a human being (you can't get anything done with leftists these days chewing on your pants)


Do you really think that some people think so? A human being defending human rights for such people and daring to tell me that while looking me right in the eyes is not born yet, I guess Again, "things" (like Bin Laden) that don't care about human rights have no right to get benefit from those rights.

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Valentin Crettaz
Sun Certified Programmer for Java 2 Platform
 
David Weitzman
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There are definately people who will claim bin Ladin has rights. You've already heard from them -- they're the sort of people protesting military tribunals and racial profiling and intollerance or generalization of any sort. They can claim that since bin Ladin declared war upon us through his jihads he was justified in murdering people by the definition of war. They can claim all sorts of things. There are still people who appear on CNN to tell us how America deserved 9/11 because of its foreign policy or that we should be negotiating instead of fighting. Why would Britan refuse to let bin Ladin face the death penalty unless they believed he had the right to live?
If we find bin Ladin alive, it would be best to kill him on the spot and make it look like an accident. Of course this goes against all things 'good' and 'fair', but I believe it is the only solution that will satisfy everyone (anybody who believes he has rights can feel good about the poetic justice of it all).
 
Jason Menard
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If I'm not mistaken, bin Laden has no "rights" under US law, even when brought to this country. The Constitution will not apply to him since he is neither a citizen, nor somebody with legal status. The only rights he has are under the Geneva Convention as a prisoner of war and a combatant.
Personally I think the best thing that can happen to him is that he is shot by US personnel in combat in Afghanistan. That way we can have undeniable proof that he is dead as well as not have to deal with the hassle of keeping him in prison. As long as he is held in prison these idiots will be hijacking planes and kidnapping people in order to demand his release. This is what has gone on in India, although unlike us, India caves to terrorist demands and relases their prisoners from jail (so that they can later go on to help fund the 9/11 attacks).
[This message has been edited by Jason Menard (edited December 16, 2001).]
 
Ranch Hand
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i agree with tintin. castration tops my list for starters. then the trial
 
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