Kid jokes that go over my head

[Nanhesru Ningyake]

I was reading a list of popular jokes that (I suspect mostly British) kids find funny. Hey but they were totally lost on me - am I too old or are these inside jokes?
Why don't polar bears eat penguins?
- Because they can't get the wrappers off.
What is the difference between a fireman and a soldier?
- You can't dip a fireman in your egg.
Why do the Teletubbies go to the toilet at the same time?
- Because they only have one Tinky Winky.
What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
- Lily.
What's white and swings through the jungle?
- A fridge.
Here's the full list
PS. It's good to be back on the ranch!

[swaroop shastri]

Nanhesru Ningyake. Olle hesrappa! Superru. Ranchnalli peddambhattarige nin hesru hesaralla antha gothagilla!
The name Nanhesru Ningyake is not a proper noun if translated to my mother tongue and i'm sure in Nanhesru Ningyake's mother tongue too! The language is Kannada!
It means "why the heck do you want my name"!

[Nanhesru Ningyake]

Lo Swaroopa, you are violating three Javaranch rules by:
1. Posting the same post in multiple threads.
2. Using a language that most ranchers do not understand.
3. Hijacking my thread
FYI, there's a whole thread dedicated to discussing my name - you can check that out
[ March 23, 2002: Message edited by: Nanhesru Ningyake ]

[Jim Yingst]

OMG - Nanhesru's not his real name? !!! Next thing you know, it will turn out that Laloo is just named after apolitician or some such foolishness. Whatever is the world coming to? :roll:
Swaroop- we're actually a bit more laid back about the naming rules in Meaningless Drivel. Of course, if NN were to post in other forums with that name, we'd have to promptly haul him off in cuffs.
NN - hey, were you been? And welcome back, wherever it was.

[Michael Matola]

Soldiers -- triangular pieces of toast, made by cutting the slice of bread diagonally twice, for dipping in the yolk of a fried egg.

[Nanhesru Ningyake]

>hey, were you been?
Cherchez la femme. That should pretty much explain my absence. Have been in Bean Town all the time, but a new girl friend just sucked up all my free time Now I'm making a determined bid to bring back some sanity into my life
Michael, that's neat - it's coincidental that I was preparing toast when I read your post
And I had some new insight into the Lily joke - I think frogs have a tradition of sitting on water lilies, and hop from one lily to another, just for fun.

[Anonymous]

Why don't polar bears eat penguins?
- Because they can't get the wrappers off.
Penguins are a popular (with kids and old people anyway) chocolate biscuit over here.

What is the difference between a fireman and a soldier?
- You can't dip a fireman in your egg.
Michael is wrong or Welsh (or possibly both) in his answer to this, Soldiers should be made from medium sliced white bread, cut to form rectangles (aprox 10*4cm) and buttered (never toasted).

Why do the Teletubbies go to the toilet at the same time?
- Because they only have one Tinky Winky.
Well I think you can work this one out yourself, I'm far to reserved to sink to potty humour.

What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
- Lily.
Frogs sit on Lilly-Pads!

What's white and swings through the jungle?
- A fridge.
If you don't find this funny you clearly have an under-nourished sense of the absurd, may I suggest a large dose of Monty Python.

[Michael Matola]

Michael isn't Welsh, but I'll fess up to being wrong on the geometry of the toast-cutting bit.
My source of "soldiers" was an old Graham Kerr cookbook, and he's from New Zealand.
He mentioned cutting up bits of toast for egg-dipping and I just assumed he meant into triangles because I just couldn't fathom anyone cutting up toast for eggs differently. (Couldn't imagine eating toast cooled on a special rack before either, but my first trip to the UK dispelled me of that bit of ideocentrism.)

[Dave Vick]

Originally posted by Michael Matola:
(Couldn't imagine eating toast cooled on a special rack before either, but my first trip to the UK dispelled me of that bit of ideocentrism.)

Special rack?! Why? does toast cool fifferently there there than here? It's always been my experience that toast takes about 30 seconds less time to cool than the time it takes you to prepare it and take the first bite. Or do you have some sort of revolutionary toaster that makes it incredibley hot?
Dave

[Angela Poynton]

Originally posted by <Jane>:

Michael is wrong or Welsh (or possibly both) in his answer to this, Soldiers should be made from medium sliced white bread, cut to form rectangles (aprox 10*4cm) and buttered (never toasted).

I always toasted my soldiers .. they don't go as soggy when dipped in the egg. And they can be made from any kind of bread (white, wholemeal etc) and thick sliced bread is best!
Also 4cm wide ... wouldn't fit in most eggs in my opinion .. more like 2cm!!
I still dip soliders into my egg and have done so for as long as I can remember!!

[QB]
Why do the Teletubbies go to the toilet at the same time?
- Because they only have one Tinky Winky.
Well I think you can work this one out yourself, I'm far to reserved to sink to potty humour.
[QB]

tellytubbies, british kids TV programme, I hate it bt one of the characters is called Tinky Winky, the others are Poe, La La and Dipsy!
[ March 25, 2002: Message edited by: Angela Poynton ]

[Thomas Paul]

Warm bread will get soggy (the mositure released by the heat) if not cooled on a rack. Anyone who bakes bread knows that rule.

[Michael Matola]

Originally posted by Dave Vick:
Special rack?!

Browse <url=http://www.britsusa.com/category2.php3?cat_id=17#1>here</url>, then click on the camera icon for a typical-looking toast cooling rack.
Weird as all get out, no?
(URL's not coming through as a link. Try http://www.britsusa.com/category2.php3?cat_id=17#1)
Or just go to eBay and search on "toast rack".
[ March 25, 2002: Message edited by: Michael Matola ]