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Signs Signs

 
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Sign over gynecologist's office: Dr Jones, at your cervix
At a military hospital-door to endoscopies: To expedite your visit,
please back in.
On a Plumbers truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
On the trucks of a local plumbing company: Don't sleep with a drip. Call
your plumber.
Pizza shop slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
Another Pizza shop slogan: Buy our pizza. We knead the dough
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: Hello. Can we pick your nose?
At a dry cleaners: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at
no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that satisfy you?
At a towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action.
On a maternity room door: push, push, push
At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place.
In a podiatrist's office: Time wounds all heels
On a fence: Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.
In a veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
At a Chicago radiator shop: Best place in town to take a leak.
At a propane filling station: Tank heaven for little grills.
 
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Those are a riot. When I was a kid I saw a sign advertising a parent student school luncheon. It said something to the effect of "Parent student lunch menu set for Sunday." It was on a dumpster.
 
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In a botanical garden, in front of telephone booth it was written "Telephonus Packvakynus"
 
A feeble attempt to tell you about our stuff that makes us money
Building a Better World in your Backyard by Paul Wheaton and Shawn Klassen-Koop
https://coderanch.com/wiki/718759/books/Building-World-Backyard-Paul-Wheaton
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