Sign over gynecologist's office: Dr Jones, at your cervix At a military hospital-door to endoscopies: To expedite your visit, please back in. On a Plumbers truck: We repair what your husband fixed. On the trucks of a local plumbing company: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber. Pizza shop slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one weak. Another Pizza shop slogan: Buy our pizza. We knead the dough At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout Door of a plastic surgeon's office: Hello. Can we pick your nose? At a dry cleaners: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that satisfy you? At a towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows. On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts. In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. On a maternity room door: push, push, push At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. In a podiatrist's office: Time wounds all heels On a fence: Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive. In a veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! At a Chicago radiator shop: Best place in town to take a leak. At a propane filling station: Tank heaven for little grills.