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This thread is not about Lev Landau

 
Leverager of our synergies
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... who used to tell that he give a half of money to his wife, and keeps another half "for vice and philanthropy".
It is about science jokes, I found when searching for info about Lev Landau. There are a few I was actually able to understand
What is set theory?
When there are five people in the room and seven are leaving, two have to
enter the room, so it is empty.
Theorem: Consider the set of all sets that have never been considered.
Hey! They're all gone!! Oh, well, never mind...
The world is divided into two classes:
people who say "The world is divided into two classes",
and people who say
The world is divided into two classes:
people who say: "The world is divided into two classes",
and people who say:
The world is divided into two classes:
people who say ...
An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his very religious
colleague:
Do you believe in one God?
Answer: Yes, up to isomorphism!
What is a compact city?
It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted
policemen!

What keeps a square from moving ? why, square roots of course.
How many square roots does it have ? why, 2 obviously.
One attractive young businesswoman to another, over lunch:
My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my
weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.
 
"The Hood"
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So Noah finally gets the ark to dry land and puts down the ramp.
Then he starts the animals going down the ramp. As the elephants come down Noah raises his staff and says "Go forth and multiply", then the lions come down and he says "Go forth and multiply", and so forth. Soon a couple of small snakes come down the ramp and Noah raises his staff and says "Go forth and multiply". The snakes stop and say "We can't multiply - we are adder snakes!". Noah pauses for a moment, considers, and then says go over by that log and wait for me, I have to finish unloading the Ark.
After the unloading is complete (quite a long time later), Noah goes to find the adder snakes and sure enough, there they are by the log. However they are surrounded by lots of baby adder snakes.
Noah says "I thought that you did not know how to multiply".
The adder snakes replied "Any adder can multiply with the aid of a log".
 
Ranch Hand
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Hhmm guys that sure was some good ones!!
Well a lotta such jokes are coming to my mind rt now.. but then I guess I ll pen them later..
By the way Man.. why do they pull yer leg so much??
Regds
Gautham Kasinath
 
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