Washington Post holds a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meaning for various words some of the winning entries for 2001 are
Coffee A person who is coughed upon
Flabbergasted Apalled Over how much weight you have gained
Abdicate To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
Esplanade To attempt an explanation while drunk (Randall has experienced this)
Negligent Describe a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie
Lymph to walk with a lisp
Balderdash A rapidly receding hairline
what is in your mind ?