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Livin' in the sticks

 
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Well my DirectTV has been out for a couple of days now and won't be up a again for a couple of more days. So I decided to check out the fare on the two local channels. Local 1: Rodeo!, Local 2: Nascar!. Since I am having one of my "the glass is half empty" days, I decided to compose a top ten list to blow off some steam. Don't get me wrong here, I am a fifth generation Texan and would not choose to live anywhere else, but sometimes "it ain't no bed of roses."
Top ten worst things about living in rural east Texas
10. Rodeo.
9. Seeing #3 Dale Earnhardt memorial bumper stickers plastered over all the "dualies" on the road.
8. Having to convince your children that Jews, Catholics, foriegn nationals and people of color are not inferior to normal folks.
7. Cow shit on your shoes.
6. Getting wierd looks because you don't wear boots and ten-gallon hats.
5. Constantly describing what a computer programmer does for a living.
4. No opera.
3. Lethal injection.
2. Feeling deficient when you order a Martini instead of a "Long Neck" Bud.
And ... Drum roll please ...
1. Rednecks
Michael Morris
 
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9. Seeing #3 Dale Earnhardt memorial bumper stickers plastered over all the "dualies" on the road.
Well, I know what a "bumper sticker" and "road" are, but the rest of this is a complete mystery. Care to elucidate ?
 
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A dually is a big pickup truck with 6 wheels. Two in the front and two in the back. Usually you see them riding around empty and without a trailer.
I'll leave assesing the social and environmental implications of this action to the reader.
But when it comes time to move something serious the extra two tires help.
Dale Earnhart #3 was a race car driver that went out with his boots on at a raceway in Florida recently.
Does anybody ever see Sam Walton bumper stickers?
[ August 25, 2002: Message edited by: Rufus Bugleweed ]
 
Michael Morris
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Damn Rufus you must've been in my neck-of-the-woods to have such intimate knowledge of the area.
If you're ever in the Longview/Tyler area look me up. We'll have some barbeque and long necks!
Micheal Morris
 
Frank Carver
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A dually is a big pickup truck with 6 wheels. Two in the front and two in the back. Usually you see them riding around empty and without a trailer.
Well that helped some. I'm still having trouble visualizing one, though. Your description of the wheels doesn't seem to add up!
Are the extra wheels on a separate axle, or are there four wheels on one of the axles? If anyone can find a picture of such a thing on the web, a link here would help a lot. Only professional builders and the like seem to drive pickups over here, and I don't think I've ever seen one with 6 wheels.
By the way, is this someting like a "SUV"? I'm not sure what one of those is either !
 
Michael Morris
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Hi Frank,
Here's a pic of a customized version:
Dually
Rufus blew the math as you can see there are two wheels in the front and four in the back. It's kinda like an 18 wheeler snuck in the pasture when one of the pickups was in heat. The redneck variety ain't as pretty as this one. The favorite color seems to be white, although after a while they're more a shade of pink with all the red clay around here.
Michael Morris
 
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they have 4 wheels on the back axle. i see them now and again here in oregon. usually empty and pulling nothing. i think its a macho thing.
 
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I can totally relate to this list Michael. I live "in the stick", too. I say stick, not plural, because it's mostly sagebrush by me. I know I'm really rural when I can't get any "local" TV, cell phone won't work here, house is solar powered, but hey...I've got an internet connection!
 
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3. Lethal injection
I can't help linking this to the Oprah trial a while back.
Such a wasted opportunity
Oprah Winfrey, you are the gross national product - Doug Anthony All Stars
 
David O'Meara
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Originally posted by Glen Tanner:
I can totally relate to this list Michael. I live "in the stick", too. I say stick, not plural, because it's mostly sagebrush by me. I know I'm really rural when I can't get any "local" TV, cell phone won't work here, house is solar powered, but hey...I've got an internet connection!


Did you see the slashdot discussion from about a month back discussing running an internet connection when you're off the power grid?
It discussed using a laptop in suspend mode rather than a desk top due to the excessive power drain. They also had a wireless hub and satelite net connection, which I thought was pretty cool.
Who said living in the stick(s) meant you were backward? (except in Texas )
 
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Mr. Morris, maybe if you got Dish instead of DirctTV, you wouldn't be without your TV!
I actually loved TX when I went to the University of Texas in Arlington, but I think it had to do with all the great shopping in Dallas. I had never been any place where their were so many great stores in the same mall!
I also loved the way my neighbor never watered their lawn or trees. One time some of my water got on a neighbor's lawn and she accussed me of trying to drown her lawn.
I did like the way that TX history was required, but American history was optional.
I also liked the way when a street got backed up, the Texan's in their dualies would just drive over the curb, down and then up the embackment then across any lawns that set between them and any street. It is the only place I have ever seen someone's front or back lawn become a thoroughfare.
But I think all of that goes with the RED NECK statement!
 
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