Well I guess anythings better than those garbage "Garage Rules" that they put up in the canteen at HP-Q
20 SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS 1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. 3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. 4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. 6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat. 7. Plagiarism saves time. 8. If at first you don't succeed, try management. 9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 10. TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself. 11. The beatings will continue until morale improves. 12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. 13. We waste time, so you don't have to. 14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! 15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. 16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all. 17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. 18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. 19. Succeed in spite of management. 20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
Mark Fletcher - http://www.markfletcher.org/blog I had some Java certs, but they're too old now...
Ooh, ooh, some I want to add: 21. PEAK PERFORMANCE comes easiest to mediocre people 22. EARLY BIRDS get the worms that don't sleep in. 23. RUN FASTER than one gazelle, and you don't care how fast the lion is. 24. BE YOURSELF on your own f***ing time. (from the Management Series) 25. ACTION on your part, REWARD on my part: that's 50-50 to me!