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Scotland vs England

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We love the English really, except when they beat us at football
Subject: Scotland vs England
On a tour of Scotland, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to
visit the North coast near Aberdeen on an impromptu sightseeing trip.
His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an
enormous commotion heard just off the headland.
They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope
noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an English Rugby
jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty
foot shark.
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Scottish rugby tops
roared into view from around the point.
Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's
ribs, immobilising it instantly.
The other two reached out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then,
using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with
the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard
frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he summoned
them to the beach.
Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue
and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that
there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Scotland and
England, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see
that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could
serve as a model on which other nations could follow."
He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that???!"
"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact
with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows bugger all about shark hunting.
How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"
Today's lesson is that you can't wear a jetpack AND a cape. I should have read this tiny ad:
the value of filler advertising in 2021
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