Random thoughts:
- XBox rules! Why would you want to get yourself or your kid a PS2 when the XBox is clearly superior?
- Women are hard to shop for. This is of course self-evident and probably doesn't require further elaboration.
- One of the best gifts you could give is the gift of Tivo. Even better would be the gift of DirecTV with built-in Tivo.
- Cats and Christmas Trees. Not always a good combination.
- Cats and freshly wrapped presents under a Christmas Tree. See above.
- Santa Claus, particularly Mall Santa Claus, often tends to frighten small children. This is one of those little spectator sports that almost makes shopping at the malls this time of year bearable.
- After this year, the VCR will be officially dead for any purpose other than to record things off of TV. They're practically giving away DVD players this year. And if you paid attention to my earlier advice and gotten yourself a Tivo you wouldn't need that VCR for anything.
- Kitchen appliances, vacuum cleaners, and the like are not appropriate holiday gifts for your wife/girlfriend.
- Consumer electronics and power tool are always appropriate gifts for your husband/boyfriend.
- What the hell is an "Auld Lang Syne"? Is that some kind of fifties-era General Motors vehicle or something?
- Santa's Reindeer would neither taste good smoked nor sauteed in butter and garlic. Thems North Pole deer are just a bit too gamy.