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Can't fault the logic....

 
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A letter to the London observer from Terry Jones (yes, of Monty Python).
Letter to the Observer
Sunday January 26, 2003
The Observer
I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's
running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really
pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.
Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me
queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me,
but so far I haven't been able to discover what.
I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's
got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel,
don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he
is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them
that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.
Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the
police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need
evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.
They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about
the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson
will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel
will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street
with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to
keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now,
however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run
out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!
And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq
is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one
certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting
the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never
threatened us.
That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and
children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in
peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.
Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing
Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass
destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much
justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has
for
bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place
by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever
long-term aim
because how can you ever know when you've achieved it?
How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every
single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once
he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists?
These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of
the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated
themselves.
Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a
future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until
every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might
convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would
be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?
It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the
tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I
don't
like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be
really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going
too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President
of the United States. That shuts her up.
Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough
reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the
whole
street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all
aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar
terrorist
masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you',
I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.
It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast
to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street!
 
mister krabs
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How many people derive their political opinions from comedians? From reading MD my guess is most.
What Terry Jones fails to note is that we know that Mr. Patel has already killed quite a few people in the neighborhood and even threw posion gas in their basements. In fact, in Mr. Patel's attempt to expand his health food store into the seafood restaurant next door, he killed half of the waiters and most of the bus boys. He even shot half of his own loading dock staff because they were talking about going on strike. The police unfortunately have not been able to do anything because the new rules require all arrest warrants to be in French and the English-French dictionary down at the station was stolen by Joe Chirac. So now they say that they will only arrest Mr. Patel if they can find bullets in his premises but since he keeps them in his pocket (and the police don't have a warrant to look there) there is nothing that can be done.
 
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vi kam
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for the original post ..
For Thomas Pauls reply :roll:
 
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For the original post: :roll:
For Thomas Paul's reply:

 
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for the decay of human civilization
 
Sheriff
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Terry Jones (yes of Monty Python) should stick to things he has a grasp of, like comedy. :roll:
 
vi kam
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For Elaine's Reply to mine :roll: :roll:
 
High Plains Drifter
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Netbeans IDE VI Editor
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Everyone knows Terry Jones is old school; for proper opinions on world events, one goes to Jon Stewart.
 
Don Kiddick
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Originally posted by Jason Menard:
Terry Jones (yes of Monty Python) should stick to things he has a grasp of, like comedy. :roll:


So should George Bush...
 
Anonymous
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Originally posted by Jason Menard:
Terry Jones (yes of Monty Python) should stick to things he has a grasp of, like comedy. :roll:


You don't know what Terry Jones 'grasps' and why should he stick to comedy? Because his lettre criticises American 'absolutism'?
You're no fun anymore.
 
Thomas Paul
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This is the old, "I'm famous therefore my opinions matter." The sad thing is that for many people all you have to do to have your opinion matter is to be famous. Our Hollywood stars are perfect examples of this. For some reason, Barbra Streisand drools out some opinion and the news channels break in to report it. Who cares what Barbra thinks? Take an idiot and make them famous and all you have is a famous idiot.
 
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
 
Jason Menard
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Originally posted by OMAR KHAN:
My hovercraft is full of eels.


 
He puts the "turd" in "saturday". Speaking of which, have you smelled this tiny ad?
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