This week's book giveaways are in the Jython/Python and Object-Oriented programming forums.
We're giving away four copies each of Machine Learning for Business: Using Amazon SageMaker and Jupyter and Object Design Style Guide and have the authors on-line!
See this thread and this one for details.
Win a copy of Machine Learning for Business: Using Amazon SageMaker and JupyterE this week in the Jython/Python forum
or Object Design Style Guide in the Object-Oriented programming forum!
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The purpose and the future of this forum

 
Trailboss
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The Meaningless Drivel forum can sometimes hear some angry voices.
Remember, the one rule of JavaRanch that applies to this forum is "be nice". If you feel you have some very important things to get off your chest and you feel you need to do it here, you MUST choose your words carefully so that your message does not get deleted. If somebody gets too passionate about your message, don't be suprised if the whole thread gets deleted.
And the "be nice" rule could be interpretted differently by every person that moderates this forum (inlcuding the sheriffs). So the message would need to satisfy all of these people in order to live more than a few minutes.
This is a great forum to post jokes (and we could sure as hell use more jokes!)
This is a great forum to talk about world issues.
This is a great forum to tell inappropriate jokes (make the subject line say "possibly offensive" to avoid freaking out the timid).
This is a great forum to talk about naked people.
This is a great forum to tell gross jokes.
This is a great forum to whine about getting screwed over at the store.
This is a great forum to share limericks.
This is not the place to say that any person on JavaRanch is anything less than perfect. If you want to bitch about a bartender or sheriff, send me an e-mail. If you want to bitch about me, use the JavaRanch forum and I promise it will not be deleted.
This is not the place to make racist or hateful comments although you can make comments appreciating other cultures and you can share your less than positive personal experiences with other cultures. If you aren't enough of a diplomat to convert the former into the latter, you should probably just avoid the whole topic.
I've read some stuff here that has been seriously cool and was damn glad that we have this place. And I've read some stuff that struck me as seriously icky and I was ashamed that it appeared on my site.
So I'm encouraging the bartenders and sheriffs to get a little more delete happy. I feel they haven't been deleting enough. If you think I'm being an ass, well ..... I am an ass. Welcome to the site owned by an ass. If you think people should be able to say whatever they want, make your own site and good luck to you.
My theory is that the angry people are scaring off the people that tell the good jokes. So I've loaded my gun and am looking for angry people ...
 
Ranch Hand
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Where were you ??
just to make post count one
Good night.. lot of work.. I will sleep today ..
Sorry for hijaking .. no time to go to my thread
 
Sheriff
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Amen, brother!
 
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I thought this was a "Meaningless" (forum)Drivel.
 
Ranch Hand
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This is a great forum to post jokes (and we could sure as hell use more jokes!)
.
.
This is a great forum to tell inappropriate jokes (make the subject line say "possibly offensive" to avoid freaking out the timid).
.
.
This is a great forum to tell gross jokes.
.
.


... you forgot to mention "jokes"!!
I'm all for more jokes!!!
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."

 
Ranch Hand
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That certainly knocks the socks off the recently declared world's funniest joke


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"


[ March 20, 2003: Message edited by: Mark Howard ]
 
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i heard a joke...intellegent one
there was a guy who was in jail for long in the charge of a murder and his father was in bad health. he wanted to plough his little garden but he was simply unable to wake up and do it.
he sent a letter to his son in jail mentionin his desire to plough the garden.
after couple of days, his son replied to him saying..."please don't dig that garden an inch. i have burried the deadbody there".
the next day police came and digged the whole garden to find out the deadbody in vain and returned without getting anything.
another letter from the son came to his poor dad- " sorry dad. that was all i could do in this circumstances".
he he :-)
regards
maulin
 
paul wheaton
Trailboss
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You've tripled the quality of this forum in just a few short posts! Thanks guys!
 
Gail Schlentz
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Originally posted by Maulin Vasavada:
i heard a joke...intellegent one


C'mon! What'r'ya trying to say?!
I actually like Mark's joke better than mine!
Keep up the good work, guys!!

[ March 20, 2003: Message edited by: Elaine Micheals ]
 
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Q:
What would Hillary Clinton do the first thing in the morning?
A:
To have sex with Bill Clinton, because she want to be the first lady.
 
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This just in: a two seater plane went down yesterday off the coast, and next to a grave yard. So far emergency rescue teams have recovered 800 bodies.
I'll get me coat...
 
Gail Schlentz
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I don't think this'll offend anyone - I'm the biggest "Microsoft Baby" of all - couldn't live without it... but this is cute...

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
 
R K Singh
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Originally posted by Elaine Micheals:
I don't think this'll offend anyone - ..


I am deeply hurt. You touched me where it hurts most
 
Gail Schlentz
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Great.
Now this thread will be locked too - all because of me!!!
 
R K Singh
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Originally posted by Paul Wheaton:
The Meaningless Drivel forum can sometimes hear some angry voices...


You should have come earlier ....

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