Actually, I have 2. It seems that Mickey's and Minnie's marriage had fallen on hard times and they found themselves in divorce court. The judge addressed Mickey, "Mr. Mouse, the court psychiatrist can't seem to find any evidence that your wife is insane. I'm afraid we can't grant a divorce on those grounds." Mickey replied, "Your honor, I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofey!"
An old woman of some 80 years, who under the advise of doctors had never married due to a chronic heart condition, fell in love and decided to hell with it, she'll marry this guy, after all how much longer would she live anyway? So the wedding night rolls around and while he's in the bathroom she gets naked and lies on the bed. When he emerges he sees her there with her naked titts stretched out about a foot dangling off her knees, real wrinkely tubular mammaries. She says, "Herbert, I never told you this because I was afraid you would leave me, but I have acute angina." Herbert responds, "Damn I hope so, becauase those have got to be the ugliest titties I've ever seen!"
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - Ernst F. Schumacher
Young woman gold digger marries an aging old man. Hopes he won't make it through the wedding night. Well they get married and they are off on a deluxe honey moon. They get to the hotel and are getting ready for bed. Old timer goes into the bathroom and comes out wearing nothing but a condom, ear plugs and nose plugs. "Honey what have you got that stuff on for?", she questions. "If there anything I hate it is the smell of burning rubber and the sound of a screaming woman.", he replied.