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[sexual content]From today's spam: You have nothing to lose but...

 
Mapraputa Is
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This is just too funny:
"You have nothing to lose but a small penis!!"
 
Michael Morris
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"You have nothing to lose but a small penis!!"
My wife got me a pair of boxer shorts with a Horton Hears a Who motif, you know, the Dr. Seuss Elephant that says "A person is a person, no matter how small." I can't help to wonder if my wife was thinking "A penis is a penis, no matter how small" when she purcahsed them.
 
Gail Schlentz
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Awwwww.....
 
Rick Portugal
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Interesting choice of smilies.
 
Michael Morris
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Awwwww.....
Hey, Elaine, you once posted in a thread that size doesn't matter.
[ May 17, 2003: Message edited by: Michael Morris ]
 
R K Singh
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Originally posted by Mapraputa Is:
This is just too funny:
"You have nothing to lose but a small penis!!"

What is this Map ..
You get lot of mails regarding
Are you planning sex change ??
 
Mapraputa Is
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Well, if to trust my incoming mail, it's not only that I have a small penis, no! That's not enough! Oh Gods! I also have problems with weak erections or something. Honestly, I think all this mail is anti-American, and if *I* were an American male, I would sue all these people who believe [for unknown reasons] that my penis is just too small [have you ever seen it?] and my erections are, mind you, too weak. Hm. Have you ever try? If not, welcome to the court...
 
Mark Fletcher
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Hey this whole "Size" issue has just grown out of proportion.
*Looks down*
I mean, it might not touch the bottom of a tuna can but it will sure as hell bang the sides out of it...
 
Michael Morris
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... that my penis is just too small [have you ever seen it?] and my erections are, mind you, too weak. Hm. Have you ever try? If not, welcome to the court...
I think we should have a penis measuring, erection qualifying convention just for the sake of reference in case any of us ever do decide to sue the spammers.
 
Mapraputa Is
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if *I* were an American male, I would sue all these people
Or maybe not... After all, isn't it nice that there are people who think about your penis every day???
Today's mail:
"Having an inadequate penis can affect your security level and self-image"
Thank you for warning me. If not you, I would never know how dangerous my penis can be for me.
"The result? A MUCH larger penis"
Oh. So how much larger?
[ May 21, 2003: Message edited by: Mapraputa Is ]
 
Sameer Jamal
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Originally posted by Mapraputa Is:
Well, if to trust my incoming mail, it's not only that I have a small penis, no! That's not enough! Oh Gods! I also have problems with weak erections or something. Honestly, I think all this mail is anti-American, and if *I* were an American male, I would sue all these people who believe [for unknown reasons] that my penis is just too small [have you ever seen it?] and my erections are, mind you, too weak. Hm. Have you ever try? If not, welcome to the court...

aRE YOU TALKING ABOUT cLITORIS
 
Jim Yingst
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iS yOUR kEYbOARD bROkEN?
My favorite spam of this type was "You can have a rock-hard penis RIGHT NOW!!!". My response - great, I'm at work right now, in the middle of a sea of cubicles... could I maybe put this off until later when it's a little more convenient?
 
Mapraputa Is
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Originally posted by Sameer Jamal:

aRE YOU TALKING ABOUT cLITORIS

Nope.
Never seen "Having an inadequate clitoris can affect your security level and self-image"
or
"The result? A MUCH larger clitoris"
in my mail.
 
Thomas Paul
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Originally posted by Mapraputa Is:
Never seen "Having an inadequate clitoris can affect your security level and self-image".

I find it hard to believe that women sit around the locker room mocking the size of each other's clitoris.
 
Mapraputa Is
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Because we are smarter than that!
 
Mapraputa Is
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Finally something good!
NEED A BIGGER DICK? COME AND GET IT!
That's right. First they recommended me to lose my small penis, now to get another one...
 
Richard Hawkes
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Can I keep my small one and get an additional bigger one? I'm sure that's a novelty that'll never wear off ...
 
Anonymous
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It ain't fun being a big dick. Everytime my master flushes the toilet, my head gets drowned.
 
Richard Hawkes
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Here's a piece by a guy took some miracle penis grow stuff:
http://westchesterweekly.com/gbase/News/content?oid=oid:24199
Its quite funny ...
 
Michael Matola
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TP: the size of each other's clitoris.
Just couldn't bring yourself to type "clitorides," eh?
 
Mani Ram
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I checked the junk folder of my mailbox after seeing this thread.
Here is what I have got
They will look like hungary wolves when they see it
Make her nuts with the more down there
People wll think its a bat in your pants
Think of how you will feel with added mass down there
 
Bert Bates
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A bat in your pants?
Like the sleeping while hanging upside down kind ?
 
Thomas Paul
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Originally posted by Michael Matola:
Just couldn't bring yourself to type "clitorides," eh?
Aren't those islands off the cost of Great Britian?
 
basha khan
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Map,
dont worry,no matter of worry on this.
exercise regulerly.it'll become better and big.
if you have any problom or questien on exercising,ask to a good experienced coach.
you know coach?.
michel morris.he was a coach.a texan coach.
--------
basha
 
Gregg Bolinger
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Originally posted by Thomas Paul:

I find it hard to believe that women sit around the locker room mocking the size of each other's clitoris.

But would you not pay to see this happen? How funny would that be.
 
Ashok Mash
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Originally posted by Gregg Bolinger:

But would you not pay to see this happen? How funny would that be.

Well, then, here is some good news. There's this stage tour - its title says it all - A monologue about my v*gina (or something like that) - its british, and was on TV a couple of times, and its absolutely gross. (I dont have a link to an article about this theatre drama, as I can't search for it now, because a search on such topics might invite attention from my network gods).
 
Cindy Glass
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Originally posted by Thomas Paul:
I find it hard to believe that women sit around the locker room mocking the size of each other's clitoris.


No we save that fun for mocking each others Breast size .
Somehow, that information is so much more, well . . . public, than you guys's size .
 
John Dunn
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A monologue about my v*gina (or something like that) - its british, and was on TV a couple of times, and its absolutely gross.
It actually an American thing, started by Eve Ensler in NYC.
From the website:The Vagina Monologues

In THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES, Eve Ensler has given voice to a chorus of lusty, outrageous, poignant, brave, highly original and thoroughly human stories. Based on over 200 interviews with a diverse group of women from around the globe, the play explores the humor, power, pain, wisdom, outrage, mystery and excitement hidden in vaginas. Having seen THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES, no one � woman or man � will look at the world the same way again.
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES has grown from an Off-Broadway hit into an international cultural phenomenon and has been performed in over 40 countries along with two North American touring companies, currently booked in over 160 cities in the US & Canada, and has been translated into over 35 different languages. Here in the U.S., the play has entered the popular consciousness and has been referenced on several hit television programs, including �Will & Grace,� �The Simpsons,� �Ally McBeal,� �Sex and the City,� �Dharma and Greg,� �Saturday Night Live,� and �Everybody Loves Raymond.� It also has been a hot topic on national talk shows including �The Oprah Winfrey Show� and �The View� and featured in top media outlets including �CNN,� The New York Times, Newsweek, Time, The Washington Post, Marie Clarie, People, Entertainment Weekly, and O-Magazine among others. During appearances to promote her engagement in the Off-Broadway production, Calista Flockhart tried unsuccessfully to get David Letterman to say the word �vagina,� but did join with Kathie Lee Gifford in getting the studio audience of �Live with Regis and Kathie Lee� to chant the word.
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES is raising millions of dollars to stop violence against women and girls.

I did see the show in NYC and rather surprisingly felt it was fantastic. I originally thought it would be decent and a great show for my date, who had seen the original pre-play try-out for the material when she was in college. I had always thought of going and each time changed my mind b/c I felt I was ~probably~ getting hooked on the name alone and that it would probably be as much fun as a baby-shower.
Wow! was I ever blown away at how good it was. The theatre had a good mix of women from young teens to geriatrics and fathers/husbands/boyfriends. (not many men under 23). I was amazed at how so many women together were clearly delighted and happy with the outcome of the show. Hmmm... The material really reached the whole gamut of women that night.
I would say that if anyone understands the power of how some candles, incense, light music, and/or flowers can enhance the evening - even when they may not do anything for you, will understand how this show can really reach a woman. It is written for women, by women, about women but in a way that is enjoyable for men too. I couldn't help think that the whole play was an animated poem. Each story told of a particular feminine trait through a story about a 'vag*na'. How interesting, right? It is almost like the women were opening up the doors of there inner spirit and sharing their innermost intimate feelings. IMHO, it is NOT at all disgusting nor is it performed without taste, (for lack of a better word). Perhaps, some folks from ultra-orthodox cultures may not share my thoughts, but I believe they would be in the minority.
I prompty "spread the word" (pun intended) by telling my buddies to check it out. I give it 10 mooseheads... Check it out if you're in NYC!
 
Sara Jahan
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Q) Why is a penis sometimes called a "gentleman"?
A) Because it rises for a lady.
Q) Why is a penis sometimes called a "curtain"?
A) Because it falls after a show.
There were more - unfortunately, i remember just two.
 
Consider Paul's rocket mass heater.
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