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[joke] St. Peter and the clocks

 
Trailboss
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(shamelessly stolen from somewhere else on the net)
> >A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at
> >the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
> >
> >He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
> >
> >St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has
> >a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
> >
> >"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
> >
> >"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that
> >she never told a lie."
> >
> >"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
> >
> >St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
> >moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
> >life."
> >
> >"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
> >
> > "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
 
mister krabs
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Show's how these things are adapted for each administration:
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in
front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall
of clocks behind him.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth
has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock
will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved
indicating that she never told a lie."
"Whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved
twice, telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire
life."
Hillary asked, "Where's Bill's clock?"
"Bill's clock is in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling
fan."
 
ranger
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Since we are on St. Peter here's another one.
St Peter was working the gates as usual. When a man comes up. St. Peter asks "So what was your I.Q."?
The man says "140"
So St. Peter says "So what do you think of Einstein's theory of relativity"?
So they speak on the subject for a while and St. Peter lets him into heaven.
Another man comes up to St. Peter and St. Peter asks "So what was your I.Q."?
The man says "185"
And St. Peter asks "So what do you think of Quantum Physics"?
So they speak on the subject for a while and St. Peter lets him into heaven.
Then another man comes up to St. Peter and St. Peter asks "So what was your I.Q."?
The man says "55"
And St. Peter asks "So what kind of drumsticks do you use"?

Mark
 
paul wheaton
Trailboss
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I heard a similar joke only for the last guy he asks "Did you get your elk yet?"
 
Ranch Hand
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Originally posted by Thomas Paul:
Show's how these things are adapted..


I just got news... St. Peter is using Laloo's clock in his helicopter
 
Ranch Hand
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Originally posted by Mark Spritzler:
And St. Peter asks "So what kind of drumsticks do you use"?


- Whats that?? I didnt quite understand it..
Cheers
Lupo
 
Ranch Hand
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Originally posted by Mark Spritzler:

And St. Peter asks "So what kind of drumsticks do you use"?


Originally posted by gautham kasinath:

- Whats that?? I didnt quite understand it..
Cheers
Lupo


It means that drummers are dumb-dumbs.
An adaptation of the punchline for JavaRanch could be:
"So what do you think of .NET?"
or maybe
"So you votin' for Dubyah again?"
 
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