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TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR

 
Ranch Hand
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(cut and paste from a fwd mail)
TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR
WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting
to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different
automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take
was too small,so he tied up the store clerk and worked
the counter himself for three hours until police showed
up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect
who just couldn't control himself during a lineup.
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat
the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the man
shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested
for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without
a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate
a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE:
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some
folks, new to boating, were having a problem No matter
how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new
22 footer going. It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuvre, no matter how much power was applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they
putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there
could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside
check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down
and the prop was the correct size and pitch.
So one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath, he came up choking on water, he was
laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER . . . THIS IS TRUE . . . Under the boat,
still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

Does anyone else find it frightening that the majority
of these took place in California???
Responese 1: What Arnieland??!!! Noooooo!!!
 
Sheriff
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Does anyone else find it frightening that the majority of these took place in California???
I don't think most people in the Eastern or Central US find that too unbelievable.
 
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The ole bowl of Grapenuts joke comes to mind Jason.
 
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We do have a lot of people here who know how to write, so a lot of stuff makes it into print on that account.
One contributing factor: pens work quite well in California, probably because they're not used here to clean ears and fingernails.
 
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None of these even come close to the idiot of the year.
For a good look at truly lethal idiocy, go to Google and search on "The Darwin Awards", a yearly compendium of the people who have managed to kill themselves in the dumbest possible way. Some survivors make honorable mention if their survival is a matter of dumb luck. For example, the guy who tied weather balloons to a folding chair to make a floating chair and found himself floating at an improbable height.......
a Californian, BTW. Where else?
 
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a Californian, BTW. Where else?
Massachusetts, apparently.
 
Michael Ernest
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This Darwin story is my all-time favorite. Even my mom was in tears when she read it.
 
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Originally posted by Jim Yingst:
a Californian, BTW. Where else?
Massachusetts, apparently.


Well, that's not a good example. First, as the article describes, the precedent was set by Larry Walters in California. Second, the thing happened 20 years ago. Nowdays, the most foolish thing that they let you do in Massachusetts is not to fasten a seatbelt in your car equipped with four air bags.
 
Jim Yingst
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Well, that's not a good example.
Example of what?
First, as the article describes, the precedent was set by Larry Walters in California.
No kidding. The question I was answering was the one that I quoted: where else? Sorry if the answer doesn't suit the needs of knee-jerk California bashers.
the most foolish thing that they let you do in Massachusetts
Were you under the impression that the original flight in California was something they "let" him do?
 
John Smith
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No kidding. The question I was answering was the one that I quoted: where else? Sorry if the answer doesn't suit the needs of knee-jerk California bashers.
I missed Alfred's post, sorry about that and please disregard my comment.
 
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First, as the article describes, the precedent was set by Larry Walters in California.
But look what they say!
"The incredible flight of Larry Walters, a 33-year-old Vietnam veteran..." No wonder. It's not Californian factor, it's military.
*I* am being sarcastic, in case you cannot tell. :roll:
 
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