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is this called flirting ?

 
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When I talked to a lady friend in a restaurant, I extended my arm to touch her hair. People thought I was flirting. Are American people so conservative ? Do you think this is flirting ?
 
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What do you call it? Do you always just reach out and touch someones hair? If not, there must be something about her in particular.
 
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"That was flirting."
"That wasn't flirting. That was 'have a pleasant and restful evening.'"
-- The Simpsons --
 
mister krabs
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
When I talked to a lady friend in a restaurant, I extended my arm to touch her hair. People thought I was flirting. Are American people so conservative ? Do you think this is flirting ?


Would you do it to a guy? If not, it is flirting. If yes, then I'm not going to restaraunt with you!
 
HS Thomas
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A fillip is a thing that rouses or stimulates or revives. So I might say �the sauce serves as a fillip to my appetite�; or �his opponents scandal gave his re-election chances a fillip�. However, to begin with this word named an action � specifically the action that I would have called �flicking�. The Oxford English Dictionary describes the action thus: �the movement made by bending the last joint of a finger against the thumb and suddenly releasing it (either so as to propel some small object, or merely as a gesture).� A fillip could also be �a smart stroke or tap� given by means of such an action. The earliest recorded use of the word fillip in this sense is from 1530. You can see how if something is metaphorically given a bit of extra propulsion we can say that it�s been given a fillip. The OED says it�s probably onomatopoeic in origin, being related to similar words such as �flip� and �flick�. And even the word �flirt� originally had a related meaning. Only much later did �flirt� come to mean �to play with, to toy or trifle with� � from which it developed its familiar meaning of �to play at courtship without serious intent�. But �flirt� just like �flip� and �flick� and our Word of the Day fillip originally meant �to propel by a sudden movement�.


Between The Simpsons and Friends you'd find a definitive American view on flirting.
 
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Why did you touch her hair? Was there spaghetti in it? Classy moves!
 
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People thought I was flirting.
So?
Some people might thought you were also a gay hairdresser and some mighta thought you a scalping headhunter and some mighta thought you two were in a lustful crazy affair. Who cares? You know what you are... This, IMHO, needs deserves this: :roll: and again: :roll:
-------------
btw, It might knock you off your feet to know but I'm American.
 
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FS: When I talked to a lady friend in a restaurant, I extended my arm to touch her hair.
Which state are you in, Frank? In North-East, we have a 3-second rule, -- that's how long you can look at a woman's face without being offensive. I would think it would be a bit longer if you move to the West. And ouside of the States, it would be even more variable. In Afganistan, the time will collapse to 0, in France it would probably extend to 15 seconds, and in Italy, it would approach the infinity.
 
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In America it is called fondling. But why would you want to do it with hair?
 
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
When I talked to a lady friend in a restaurant, I extended my arm to touch her hair. People thought I was flirting. Are American people so conservative? Do you think this is flirting?


It's a question of context, in part. Most Americans would guess a man and a woman in a restaurant are a couple, particularly if they're touching.
Perhaps we're a conservative bunch. Or, perhaps your notion of flirting is more vigorous than ours.
 
Richard Hawkes
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Vigorous flirting
 
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[Eugene]: In North-East, we have a 3-second rule, -- that's how long you can look at a woman's face without being offensive.
I hope you're allowed a little longer in cases where you're actually conversing with the woman in question. Here looking at the face is usually considered a good thing - it's how often gaze strays elsewhere that you have to be careful about.
 
Richard Hawkes
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Originally posted by Jim Yingst:
it's how often gaze strays elsewhere that you have to be careful about.
You can usually get away with four or five glances towards the chest area during a conversation in any one minute BUT you must only move the eyes (not the head) and each glance has to be the briefest fraction of a second. Any more than that and you're going to get busted/slapped/glassed-by-the-boyfriend/invited-for-coffee.
 
HS Thomas
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Does this conversation only apply to restaurants ?
What about salesmen / saleswomen selling some product ? Touching of hair be allowed in this case ? Lots of scope for what could pass for flirting IMO. How much eye-on-product vs eye-to-eye contact is permissible ?
 
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Originally posted by HS Thomas:
Does this conversation only apply to restaurants ?
What about salesmen / saleswomen selling some product ? Touching of hair be allowed in this case ? Lots of scope for what could pass for flirting IMO. How much eye-on-product vs eye-to-eye contact is permissible ?


Touching the hair of the prospective customer while selling? .I think peple will allow for saleswomen selling some hair oil.

[ February 06, 2004: Message edited by: Capablanca Kepler ]
 
HS Thomas
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Selling,buying and flirting go together IMHO.
I've seen a case where �2500 was dropped off the price of a new car where some time was taken over the price negotiation. All above board of course. The dealer never saw it coming as it didn't start out negotiable. Some knowledge about car pricing was required as well.
And the car has worked perfectly since so the dealer wasn't selling dodgy goods either.
Perhaps flirting isn't the right word.
Has anyone read up on the new fandango "Emotional Intelligence" ?
I think it sums it up pretty well - just doesn't sound nice some times.
I think the aim is for everyone to feel they are in a win-win situation.
The Dalai Lama has an angle on "Emotional Intelligence", too which sounds a much better way.
[ February 06, 2004: Message edited by: HS Thomas ]
 
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A year ago a woman was telling me about a horrible man who would go to a party and flirt with woman other than the woman he went there with. I asked her what flirting was and she said it was paying attention to a woman. So, apparently, in her view, simply visiting with a woman was considered flirting.
I had always thought that flirting was limited to converstation with the opposite sex that included sexual innuendo. But I think Thomas's definition is better.
 
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I spent two years in Italy , but I can't tell you exactly how many seconds are allowed. Depends if you have the unshaved for five days ketchup stained t-shirt look! - It's quick de rigeur with many programmers.
 
HS Thomas
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It's a bit like asking "Is Jordan a little Arab state", isn't it?
 
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How come none of the ranchers of the female persuasion have weighed in on this? They would know for sure whether you flirted with her or not. BTW, what did the woman whose hair you touched think of it?
 
Michael Ernest
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We do not permit our women to speak on such matters.
 
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Question to Mr. Happy Hands: Frank, what would you have thought if during your conversation your woman friend had reached out and touched your hair? You probably would have thought that you had a pretty good chance, right?
[ February 06, 2004: Message edited by: Alan Labout ]
 
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
When I talked to a lady friend in a restaurant, I extended my arm to touch her hair. People thought I was flirting. Are American people so conservative ? Do you think this is flirting ?


Hey Frank,
Who are these people doing all the thinking? All I want to know is what happened next! Sounds like this could be the start of something good.
 
Frank Sikuluzu
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First of all, she isn't my GF yet. Now what happened was she didn't reject me, she was bit shy but she smiled. It seems I should have followed up immediately but I had to go to pick up something important before the store was closed, so I had to left her after the dinner. Now I may see her again in the near future. Here I need your input --- Do you think I have a good chance in pursuing a romantic relation ?
 
Sadanand Murthy
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
First of all, she isn't my GF yet. Now what happened was she didn't reject me, she was bit shy but she smiled. It seems I should have followed up immediately but I had to go to pick up something important before the store was closed, so I had to left her after the dinner. Now I may see her again in the near future. Here I need your input --- Do you think I have a good chance in pursuing a romantic relation ?


You know, Frank, none of us ranchers is the best judge about this. That lady friend of yours is the best judge.
 
Jim Yingst
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Can't answer your last question, Frank, but based on the new information, I think we can answer your original question: yes, you were flirting.
 
Howard Kushner
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
First of all, she isn't my GF yet. Now what happened was she didn't reject me, she was bit shy but she smiled. It seems I should have followed up immediately but I had to go to pick up something important before the store was closed, so I had to left her after the dinner. Now I may see her again in the near future. Here I need your input --- Do you think I have a good chance in pursuing a romantic relation ?


Tell ya what I think, Frank - nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Be a man, and go for it!
 
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
First of all, she isn't my GF yet. Now what happened was she didn't reject me, she was bit shy but she smiled. It seems I should have followed up immediately but I had to go to pick up something important before the store was closed, so I had to left her after the dinner. Now I may see her again in the near future. Here I need your input --- Do you think I have a good chance in pursuing a romantic relation ?


So you were flirting??
What was the point of your original question again?
 
HS Thomas
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Do you think I have a good chance in pursuing a romantic relation ?
The million dollar question.
 
John Dunn
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Do you think I have a good chance in pursuing a romantic relation ?
Not if you're wasting your time asking us...
Leave out all the boring details, just do it and come back and tell us how ya got it done.
 
Frank Sikuluzu
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I made it. Now I believe Americans are not that conservative as some people describe.
 
Howard Kushner
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
I made it.


Frank,
I am so proud of you!
 
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Originally posted by Frank Sikuluzu:
First of all, she isn't my GF yet. Now what happened was she didn't reject me, she was bit shy but she smiled. It seems I should have followed up immediately but I had to go to pick up something important before the store was closed, so I had to left her after the dinner. Now I may see her again in the near future. Here I need your input --- Do you think I have a good chance in pursuing a romantic relation ?


Hilarious....
may we change this forum to "Meaningless Diary" ?
 
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