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Corrupt a wish

 
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Granted. And now you can never turn capitals on at all.

I wish the polar bear moose could say hello. (today is polar bear day)
 
lowercase baba
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Paul Clapham wrote:I wish I could turn off the stupid Caps Lock key on this keyboard.


as an aside/life hack...I simply pulled the caps lock key OFF my keyboard, so I can't press it. If I still need to turn on the feature, a ball-point pen fits into the hole and presses the contacts.
 
Rancher
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Granted. Except now the polar bear moose says hello by biting of your FACE!

I wish this building had central heating
 
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Granted. Central heating it is. The ducts and pipes will have to pass through your little space in that building. Oh and your room will also have the heating unit installed.

I wish that I was 2 inches taller.
 
Marshal
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Granted. An unshielded nuclear pile now heats your building.

Granted. You have been placed on a rack and stretched.

I wish my office wouldn't run out of cream for the coffee.
 
Jayesh A Lalwani
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Granted now they run out of coffee before the cream

I wish people listend to me. Listen!.. LISTEN!!!
 
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Granted. But now the townspeople are coming after you with tar and feathers.

I wish my fingers were as nimble on my guitar as they are on a keyboard.
 
Jeanne Boyarsky
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Granted. But now your fingers have turned into guitar picks.

I wish the robotics team I mentor does well when they compete.

Competition:
 
Bear Bibeault
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Granted. The robots perform so well that they achieve self-consciousness and plug into the grid. Skynet is born.

I wish my right knee would stop hurting.
 
Heena Agarwal
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Granted. Just by this time it must have stopped hurting already. But the left one .. ok.. never mind :-)

I wish that people were banned from smoking cigarettes or cigarette like things in public places.

 
Jeanne Boyarsky
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Granted, but now your downstairs neighbor smokes in the house and you can smell it from your home.

I wish the US would give in and use the metric system.
 
Jayesh A Lalwani
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Granted. The metric system is imposed on the US by a race of aliens. Only thing is that these aliens have 7 fingers, and imposed their own septimal metric system

I wish my son to have everything in life that I have, and more.
 
Bear Bibeault
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There is no way I'm going to corrupt a wish for your son!

I still wish my right knee would stop hurting!
 
Sheriff
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Granted. But now you cannot bend it.

I wish I could get SyntaxHighlighter to play nice with Blogger
 
Jeanne Boyarsky
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Granted but now Blogger went out of business.

I wish I had more time to read.
 
Bear Bibeault
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Granted, but now the rest of the world has stopped in time and you have broken your glasses. (Cue Twilight Zone theme...)

I wish this bug I'm working on that happens to only one user and cannot be recreated elsewhere would magically go away.
 
fred rosenberger
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Bear Bibeault wrote:I wish this bug I'm working on that happens to only one user and cannot be recreated elsewhere would magically go away.


Granted. But now four other users are each reporting a new bug that nobody else can recreate.

I wish I had lunch.
 
Jayesh A Lalwani
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Granted. Enjoy this plate of live squid.

I would wish that didn't procrastinate, but I have to write this post first.
 
Heena Agarwal
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Granted but you can't mention it now.

I wish that Paulo Coelho's latest book is not going to be out of stock in the stores I'm going to visit tomorrow.
 
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Fine, granted. But you won't have time to read it.

I wish that I could concentrate in work.
 
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Granted. Now your family is cursing you full time.
I wish I were a king with a good and wise heart.
(Thanks Heena for starting this wonderful post. loving it...)
 
Heena Agarwal
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You are the king referred to by Paulo Coelho in his book 'Veronica Decides To Die'. For those who haven't read the book, here is the reference -

"Once upon a time, a powerful wizard, who wanted to destroy an entire kingdom, placed a magic potion in the well from which the inhabitants drank. Whoever drank that water would go mad.

The following morning, the whole population drank from the well and they all went mad, apart from the king and his family, who had a well set aside for them alone, which the magician had not managed to poison. The king was worried and tried to control the population by issuing a series of edicts governing security and public health. The policemen and the inspectors, however, had also drunk the poisoned water, and they thought the king’s decisions were absurd and resolved to take notice of them.

When the inhabitants of the kingdom heard these decrees, they became convinced that the king had gone mad and was now giving nonsensical orders. The marched on the castle and called for his abdication."
- taken from Veronica Decides To Die by Paulo Coelho

I wish that people didn't make my short methods so long by introducing multiple, ugly if conditions.
 
Arun Kumarr
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Great and poof!! they will be changed into simple goto: statements.
I wish I could code through speech.
 
fred rosenberger
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Granted, but now you have to do it in machine code.

I wish I were at Walt Disney World.
 
Bear Bibeault
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Poof! You are now a doll doomed to sing It's Small World for the rest of time.

I wish the cedar pollen would clear out of the air.

 
Jayesh A Lalwani
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Granted. But now the oxygen cleared out of the air

I wish I could make funnier wishes
 
Jim Venolia
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Granted, now everyone groans at your bad puns.

I wish Wendy would un-friendzone me.
 
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Granted, but now your in-box is filled with cat pictures.

I wish pizza was a health food.
 
Arun Kumarr
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Granted and pizzas now contain uncooked green leaves and no salt, no spices and no sugar.
I wish I could stop corruption in India.
 
Chan Ag
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Ever wondered why granting that wish took so many days!

The Pessimist ( a realist? take your pick) : Granted but you shouldn't dream in the afternoon. who'd want to corrupt such a wish. Go for it.
The Optimist : Granted but you live in an another country now where you'd still see corruption.

I wish that we didn't have to pay so much service tax on the FMCG products.
 
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Granted!! But you will be subjected to a monthly cap on the amount of goods you purchase in a month

I wish we all could teleport.
 
Sheriff
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Granted. It's the teleport from The Fly.

I wish I could manage my time better.
 
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Granted. Now you must spend the rest of your life in solitary confinement.

I wish everyone was happy forever.
 
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Granted..Now every1's name is Happy

I wish I could go on a world tour.
 
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Granted, but when the world has only burning lava and nothing else, may be > 100k years later.
I wish all the future super technologies could spawn from my genetic mutations and I get royalty of life years.

[Stupidity at height ]
 
Arun Kumarr
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Granted! But you are now a lab specimen (with tentacles) and immersed in a water filled pod.
I wish I meet buddha on the road and kill him.
 
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Granted! But now all of the Shaolin monks are after you.

I wish that Linux would be more the number one operating system on personal computers.
 
Tim Cooke
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Granted. But that's because Linus sold the Kernel to Microsoft who made it a proprietary product and called it Windows.

I wish my voice would come back (I have laryngitis)
 
Arun Kumarr
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I don't want to corrupt your wish. But I'll try.
Granted and now everyone says you sounded better before.

I wish people in the top have no ego.
 
Bear Bibeault
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Granted. But now there is no leadership and chaos ensues.

I wish I had time for more sleep.
 
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