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Actual Answering phone messages

 
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The bell hath soundeth. Thou must leave a message.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice
patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use.
Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR
voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no
charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional
extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain
the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment.
Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
 
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On NPR there's a show caled Wait Wait Don't tell me --- its a news trivia show, and the winner gets to have Carl Kassell's voice on their answering machine.

you can listen to a few of the messages he's created for people -- Quite entertaining to listen to...
 
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This link is also good
 
Helen Thomas
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Homer's answering machine

Spock's answering machine

Shirley Temple's

Boris Karloff's
Jack's
[url=http://www.ilovewavs.com/comedy/AnsMach/AnsMach%20-%20Friends,%20Singing,%20You%27ve%20got%20leave%20a%20message.wav]Friends' Singing[/url]
[ July 13, 2004: Message edited by: Helen Thomas ]
 
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Not as funny, but this is real. I had to ring this elderly woman (my landlord�s friend) the other day, on her mobile, and it was something like this:

�Hi, you have reached :: name ::, I am unavailable to take your call, that means, either I am away from the phone, or I am frantically searching through my hand bag to find the phone � this always happens to me. So, please ring me back in a minute and see if I pick up the call, or you can leave your number and I will ring you back. Thank you!!

 
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I called up one of my friend and after so many rings his voice finally came --
"Hello ... ... Hello ....... Heelllooooooo .... Hellllooooooooo ....."

initially I thought he is unable to hear me properly ..... only later I came to know that this was his voice message
 
Helen Thomas
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Originally posted by K Varun:
I called up one of my friend and after so many rings his voice finally came --
"Hello ... ... Hello ....... Heelllooooooo .... Hellllooooooooo ....."

initially I thought he is unable to hear me properly ..... only later I came to know that this was his voice message



 
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once on seinfeld george was trying to avoid a girl who kept calling him, his message was sung to the tune of some popular song(sorry i dont know the name) its hillarious. link to the message
 
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