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mid-life crisis

 
Greenhorn
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I'm new here, unsure if this is where I need to be or not. I am at a crisis in my life, and am unsure of the best direction to take. Just lost my job, am looking for work in both the field I have worked for the past 27 yrs, and possibly something new..need help..Any suggestion appreciated. tipshep@hotmail.com
 
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Hi Gerald,
I guess quite a few people here have been through a crisis like yours, and are able to help. But before we try, could you please answer a couple of questions here?

What brought you HERE?
What do you think would help you to make that decision?
[ August 12, 2004: Message edited by: Dmitry Melnik ]
 
Desperado
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Sorry to hear that!

"...field I have worked for the past 27 yrs"

What field is that?
 
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Hello Gerald,

Welcome to Javaranch!

You are at a very important junction in your life. It will teach you a lot of things. Probably more than what you learned in all those 27 years!!

To avoid this phase becoming worse, please, please, please do the following -
1. Keep yourself busy into something or the other work.
Wipe the dust, clean the basin, do the dishes if at home. Keep your hands busy. Your brain will worry less.
2. Keep in contact with as many friends and relatives as you can. Spend less time alone. If you 'cope' with few friends/relatives generally but if you are finding them irritating in this phase, keep away from them for the time being.
3. Join some course as soon as possible. We are used to a routine for all these years in life. And when we do not have it one day.. and two, three and uncertain days together, things start going from bad to worse. If you join some course, you will have a routine - even if of an hour a day. You will get to make new friends. It will keep you sane.
4. Read all those books/articles you found good but just bookmarked to 'read-later'. Develop a habit of reading.
5. Start excercising. Its good for the brain. It keeps us positive and energetic.
6. Watch what you eat. When in such situations we either tend to eat too less or too much. Too much eating and no work eventually makes us sluggish. Too less eating does not give enough physical strength to fight the mental stress we are already fighting so hard.
7. Go for a movie. Take a walk in the park. We start feeling guilty about enjoyment if we are not actually working and/or earning money. Funny but its a very common feeling. Working or not, we still need entertainment. Whether to over spend or not should be considered. NOT whether to enjoy ourselves or not.

This is a very very valuable phase of life. Do not look at it as if - why it had to happen to me only? When you will come out of this phase, you will have got a different glasses to look at this world. Things will fall into place. You will feel stronger than you ever felt in all those 27 years!

Good Luck!

Regards,
Tina
 
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Going to some good job consulting companies and seeking help from them will be a good option.

---
basha
 
basha khan
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Everyone having something special.With ur 27 year experience,There'll be something special with u also.

In supply-demand imbalance,there is always,there will be people who needs exactly "YOU"(for various reasons,from negative to positive).So what u wanna do is to meet them,to meet them,u can consult to job consulting companies so they may have contacts who needs exactly YOU.

---
basha
 
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A personal anecdote: Losing my job, a while back, was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me reexamine my career and plot a new course. It turned out to be a good move.

I'm not implying that a change is always the right thing to do. Losing my job was painful and unpleasant. The changes I made had been in my mind for a while. Getting laid off was the catalyst to get me moving.

While I was out of work, my wife and I sat at home and played cards, watched TV, talked. We didn't have any money to go out, so we stayed home and spent time with each other. Looking back, oddly enough, those were some good times.
 
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Originally posted by Ray Marsh:
A personal anecdote: Losing my job, a while back, was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me reexamine my career and plot a new course. It turned out to be a good move.

I'm not implying that a change is always the right thing to do. Losing my job was painful and unpleasant. The changes I made had been in my mind for a while. Getting laid off was the catalyst to get me moving.

While I was out of work, my wife and I sat at home and played cards, watched TV, talked. We didn't have any money to go out, so we stayed home and spent time with each other. Looking back, oddly enough, those were some good times.



Oddly enough I'm in a similar situation right now, Ray. Except that the two months I took off over the summer turned out to be the last two months of my mother's life. I'm still grieving but believe that in the long term I will be very glad I took the time to be with her.

Sometimes when you take some (enforced) time off it can indeed help you to get your head on straight. I'd been pretty unhappy at work for some time, working in a more junior role than my experience and personality warranted. What the time off has done is allow me to consider what I really want the next time and take the time to get very prepared for doing exactly that. Mostly I had allowed myself to fall into a reaction mode, trying to limit losses rather than exploit potential gains. Ultimately a bad thing for both my employer and myself.

When I return I think it will be either as an independent consultant or on a consultant basis on a 'right to hire' contract. I want to be very sure that it's a good match before making a long committment this time.
 
Bacon
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I read somewhere that depression, anxiety, hopelessness, etc are usually caused by two things (Ray's executive summary version):

The incorrect belief that the bad times will never end.

-or-

The incorrect belief that the good times will never end and when they do you crash emotionally.

Someone else (I know that I should know who) said: "This too shall pass."
 
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Originally posted by Ray Marsh:

Someone else (I know that I should know who) said: "This too shall pass."



Mark Lowry.

http://mcentire-d-d.com/blessings/poem-sorrow/MarkLowry-ThisTooShallPass.wav
 
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Seek Divine help and believe me "This time shall pass" In my 24 years of life I had been in this sort of crisis several times and sometimes I lose hope but eventually stand up and face the crisis of life because frnakly speaking I have no choice.

"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
 
Bacon
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Or here... http://www.famousquotes.com/Show.php?_id=1053464

I was favoring Shakespeare, but I'm no expert on that.
 
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