"Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero." -Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983.
Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. And he thought there would be less pressure!
Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully Back down the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"
(Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)
"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, They used to paraphrase Compton's famous words describing and equally inept runner;
"When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!" Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time."
Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10.During a county match, horror of horrors.......both got injured. *Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end.
Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing .One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end.
Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which.*You* decide and inform the bloody scorers!".
"Thanks to Indian media who has over the period of time swiped out intellectual taste from mass Indian population." - Chetan Parekh