Looking back at life

[kayal cox]

I was reading the Drug Legalization thread about how recreational drugs affect people (Adrian : at the peak of their experience are happy doing simple things (staring at the sky, the floor, a plain sheet of paper.. listening to music, going for a walk and looking at the way the grass bends in the wind etc)... and I am thinking to myself.. Maybe it would have been nice to experience this atleast once in my life..
You see, I have never smoked a cigarette, never drank alcohol, never tried any drug for recreational purpose, not even cough syrup... And so I can't help wondering if I should have somehow tried something exciting during college days, just so I can atleast say, I know how that feels.

Anybody else feel that way..? Like when you look back at all the years that you have crossed, and then you feel like maybe you should have tried something a bit more daring, exciting, fun?

[Alan Wanwierd]

I ocassionaly wonder wether I did the right thing by giving up and getting a job in IT.

I tried desperately hard not to work with computers - but decided that the inevitable poverty that I would have to live in to pursue the slim chance of a music career was more than I could bare. Many of my friends berated me at the time for 'selling-out' and quiting, but later were grateful to share in what little relative wealth I had when I would visit for the weekend complete with a case or 2 beer.

Now I look at my friends and although economically they seem to be in a dire situation, they are still doing things they enjoy, writing and recording music and standing up for what they believe in. I may ocassionaly tease them about when they're going to grow and get a job - but I know they know I'm jealous!

Who's living the dream? Me with my cruisey quiet comfortable respectable life? or them with the knowledge that they at least gave it a go?

[Warren Dew]

Nothing stops you from trying drugs out for the first time now, if you haven't figured out that it's a bad idea yet.

Personally, my regrets go the other way. Mostly I wish I'd paid more attention to the good advice given me by my parents, professors, and coaches, instead of largely ignoring it to my own detriment.

[Nick Allen]

I'm pretty young, still in university; however, I still feel often enough that I made the wrong decision when I gave up pursuing snowboarding out of high school. Not that I was terribly good, I just wanted to go live in the mountains and just do it for a couple of years. I often accuse myself of selling out, because the reason I stayed was the entrance bursary I got. I know the laments of a person with the majority of their life still ahead of them(I hope) don't seem as well founded, I just have so many friends who often wish they would have chased their dream, given it a chance for just one or two more years. To really be able to pour themselves into that thing they loved and see what could happen, then go try something else. I just it's just scary to people to be trailblazer's, school, or work is so much more structured than the pursuit of dreams. The ease of this structure I now feel is only misleading, especially if you begin to question your choice as quickly as I did. It is much harder to do this than to work at something you truly love to do.
As for the drugs, meh, they're not really all they're cracked up to be.

[Joe King]

Originally posted by kayal cox:
I was reading the Drug Legalization thread about how recreational drugs affect people (Adrian: at the peak of their experience are happy doing simple things (staring at the sky, the floor, a plain sheet of paper.. listening to music, going for a walk and looking at the way the grass bends in the wind etc)... and I am thinking to myself.. Maybe it would have been nice to experience this atleast once in my life..

When Adrian originally made this comment, it made me think of the experiences that some people have when meditating. Perhaps this may be just as rewarding a way to further appreciation of some simple things, without the worry of the potentially physical danger associated with some drugs.

[Joe King]

Originally posted by Nick Allen:
I know the laments of a person with the majority of their life still ahead of them(I hope) don't seem as well founded, I just have so many friends who often wish they would have chased their dream, given it a chance for just one or two more years. To really be able to pour themselves into that thing they loved and see what could happen, then go try something else.

The key bit here is with the majority of their life still ahead of them. How about going to do all those things you wanted to do after university? There's no reason to give up on your dreams to soon. While the current trend is to go do various wild things before going to university, maybe doing it afterwards may just be a better option. After all that hard work you can reward yourself with some fun, and have the knowledge that if/when your money runs out you have a qualification to fall back on.

As for the drugs, meh, they're not really all they're cracked up to be.

Genius!

[kayal cox]

Joe King: How about going to do all those things you wanted to do after university? There's no reason to give up on your dreams to soon

I would agree with that. When I was a kid, I used to like to play on the keyboard, and wanted to go for piano classes. But in India, there is enormous stress placed on children (especially in middle class families) to go for a Medicine/Engineering degree, and this was one of the things that got sacrificed in the process. I was upset then, but now I know that this was the best route for me. But I have decided that every year, I would try my hand at something new, of course, I might never make a career out of it (but you never know!)

And regarding the drugs and alcohol .. I do know it is not good for me. I could have tried it if I wanted to, but I was too scared that I would get addicted to it, and that again is probably the best route for me.
And now, I am married, I have responsibilities, a stable happy life, and I am not gonna do anything to risk it.
But whenever I listen to Pink Floyd or Bob Marley or the Doors, I can't help wondering how that music would feel like, how the world would feel like, if I was, hmmmm, stoned?
[ January 18, 2005: Message edited by: kayal cox ]

[Helen Thomas]

You could look at the world through someone else's stoned eyes.
Like Prince Harry. Or someone not so unbelievably stupid with �28 million to their name. The singers you mention probably.

Or better still visit a drug rehab clinic.
[ January 18, 2005: Message edited by: Helen Thomas ]

[Madhav Lakkapragada]

kayal cox:
...And regarding the drugs and alcohol .. I do know it is not good for me. I could have tried it if I wanted to, but I was too scared that I would get addicted to it, ...

Talking about fear of adiction -

When I can't sleep at nights (which is pretty much everynight), I generally get onto my computer and surf the web. I am convinced that I maybe suffering from insomnia, but I don't want to admit it. I don't want to take any sleeping pills and get addicted to them. Drugs are out-of-question anyways...

Talking about looking back...well its deja-vu everyday (structured life, si this what its called?), so why look back

Just living one day at a time, forget the dreams.

- m

[Alan Wanwierd]

Originally posted by Madhav Lakkapragada:
...(which is pretty much everynight), I generally get onto my computer and surf the web....

Have you considered the possibility that you have developed an adiction to web surfing?.. Perhaps you should seek addiction counselling for this!

[kayal cox]

Madhav: ... forget the dreams ...

Whaaaat? How? Why? .... Forget the dreams???

I remember a poem by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Well, I did not take the road less travelled. And sometimes I wistfully wonder (as does everybody at one time or another, I would assume)...
And no, this is not just about drugs.. (that was just one example to illustrate the point!)...

[John Dunn]

smoking a fat doobie and listening to tunes with headphones is utterly fascinating. The thing I didn't like, is that is was utterly fascinating... When its too good to be true, it probably is. Ignorance is bliss, man; so don't use illegal drugs. There's plenty of fun with the legal ones, less hassles, less hiding, etc. (my two cents)

[Bacon]

Don't live in regret, don't pine away about the past. Whether you do or do not wish to have it to do over again, you cannot.

Don't be irresponsible about the future, however, do not live like you have a lot of it. Live for today, but don't fail to plan for tomorrow.

My humble opinion, don't be too lop-sided one way or the other.

Proverbs 11:1
A false balance is abomination to the LORD: but a just weight is his delight.

[kayal cox]

Ray: Don't live in regret, don't pine away about the past.

Whether you do or do not wish to have it to do over again, you cannot.

Don't be irresponsible about the future, however, do not live like you have a lot of it.

Live for today, but don't fail to plan for tomorrow.

Yes Sir!

[Alan Wanwierd]

I'm sure I read somewhere that regretting your actions is far less common than regretting your inactions.

On reflection this seems to be true for me - I cannot think of anything in my life I regret doing - but a there are a few things I regret not doing.

Is this rule universal?

If so, does that tell us anything about human nature? Are we all inherently conservative and over-cautious? Or does it mean we have all been conditioned to repress our desire to "break-out" by society (in order for that society to function in a civilised manner)?

Perhaps society is a constant conflict between the individuals desire to take risks, gain experiences, stride out and have fun and societies need to be stable?

[Nick Allen]

I've further reflected on my misgivings of my choices; I've come to realize a mojor reason for my melancholy attitude towards my decision to pursue school first is largely because I'm from a very small town. All of my friends, which was basically my whole grade as is the nature of very small classes, are doing something different. I realized that lots of my doubt comes from this seeming complete seperation between life before university and life after.
This realization makes me wonder, at least of myself, if it isn't more of a regret of losing those connections almost completely, than it is of regretting what path I have decided to walk down. Being young, I have it fresh in my mind all the horrible summer and part time jobs I have done to support myself and get myself through school. In all of those experiences, generally the most memorable came from working with people who made it interesting, instead of what the job was. Even when I've had jobs that I wanted, if they were with people who just generally sucked, the job was not much fun.
This sounds wrong coming from someone who is in engineering, but it seems to me that the relationships and experiences between the people in your life are much more important to your happiness with your life, than the physical and visceral experiences, not to mention psychedelic ones.

[Bacon]

Kayal, sorry if I sounded too preachy.

A trap that most of us fall into once in a while is believing our own delusions that a different choice, at some juncture or another, would have made our lives a great deal better.

Its sort of like the "good old days" syndrome. We tend to forget the bad and remember the good. When contemplating what could have been, we tend to exagerate how good it could have been and forget about the possible downside. Not to mention the the downsides that we don't know about and never discovered on the road not taken.

At the risk of sounding preachy again... We're all on a one way street. There's little point in spending a lot of time looking in a direction we cannot travel.
[ January 19, 2005: Message edited by: Ray Marsh ]

[Madhav Lakkapragada]

How does that song go........

I wish
that
I know what I know now
When I was younger....
I wish

Ok, the honest answer to what you asked originally is
Yes, given the opportunity I would change certain things in my past life. And I mean it.

Ray, not that it will make my life any easier or happier, but...


- m

[Bacon]

Originally posted by Madhav Lakkapragada:
How does that song go........

I wish
that
I know what I know now
When I was younger....
I wish

Ok, the honest answer to what you asked originally is
Yes, given the opportunity I would change certain things in my past life. And I mean it.

Ray, not that it will make my life any easier or happier, but...


- m

You should watch the movie "The Butterfly Effect". Warning: a disturbing movie, not for everyone.

[Marc Peabody]

How does that song go........

I wish
that
I know what I know now
When I was younger....
I wish

Rod Stewart's Baby Jane?

[Frank Silbermann]

Originally posted by kayal cox:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

That reminds me of the poem by Merce Killjoy:

Beer

I think that I shall never hear,
a poem as lovely as a beer.
With golden base and snowy cap,
the stuff Joe's Bar & Grill keeps on tap.
The stuff that I can drink all day
until my memory fades away.
Poems are made by fools I fear,
but only Schlitz can make a beer.

(From Mad Magazine, circa 1960, based on the poem "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer)
[ January 19, 2005: Message edited by: Frank Silbermann ]

[kayal cox]

I am curious to know, are there people who like the taste of beer right away, or is it an acquired taste? I took a sip of IPA from the most famous brewery in my town, and man, it was bitter! The hostess of the party took pity on me, and got me some of the 'lighter' versions, but I didn't find their taste any better. But the guys around me chugged down pitcher after pitcher of the stuff.

[Alan Wanwierd]

Originally posted by kayal cox:
I am curious to know, are there people who like the taste of beer right away, or is it an acquired taste? I took a sip of IPA from the most famous brewery in my town, and man, it was bitter! The hostess of the party took pity on me, and got me some of the 'lighter' versions, but I didn't find their taste any better. But the guys around me chugged down pitcher after pitcher of the stuff.

As children we (at least among our social group in UK) were permitted to drink "shandy" (Lager + Lemonade). At an early age the drink was entirely sugary lemonade - just with a hint of lager taste, but by mid-teens a 50/50 ratio was the norm. Some drinkers never quite shed the "shandy" taste and grew into fully fledged adults drinking "lager top" (a near full pint of Lager but with a dash of lemonade added at the top of the glass).

Once you have developed the taste for the crisp bite of lager its tough to return to sweet drinks. A real ale (such as IPA [assuming the IPA you refer to is a British IPA??]) is however more tastey and more bitter - perhaps a tougher taste to develop???

(The term "shandy-drinker" remains a lighthearted term of abuse - a way of questioning someones masculinity as if to imply that to not like drinking beer is somehow a sign of weakness!)

[Richard Hawkes]

Ween them young, that's what I say

[Madhav Lakkapragada]

Originally posted by Ray Marsh:


You should watch the movie "The Butterfly Effect". Warning: a disturbing movie, not for everyone.

If its disturbing, I won't even attempt. Between my job (hint what will you change from the past?, relax its just a meaningless forum!), the commute (2 Hrs per 'normal' day) and being a new Dad (why don't they make a scented diaper?) my life is pretty disturbed as it is. I am at a stage where I can't take any more disturbance. The most recent movie I watched 'Look who's talking!'.

But even in general, I (and my wife) can't stand Psycological thrillers. We much rather prefer to see endless re-runs of Seinfeld.

Sorry Ray, but thanks for the suggestion.

- m

[Madhav Lakkapragada]

Originally posted by kayal cox:
I am curious to know, are there people who like the taste of beer right away, or is it an acquired taste? I took a sip of IPA from the most famous brewery in my town, and man, it was bitter! The hostess of the party took pity on me, and got me some of the 'lighter' versions, but I didn't find their taste any better. But the guys around me chugged down pitcher after pitcher of the stuff.

Living your dream, eh?

Its an acquired taste, atleast for me. IPA is rated one of the best, by one of my buddies. I tried it only once, I for one consider it expensive. I generally go for the one on sale (mostly Honey Brown). Or Coors when they run that "twins" Ad.


- m

[Bacon]

Originally posted by Madhav Lakkapragada:
...(why don't they make a scented diaper?)...

They don't come scented, the baby provides that part!

Originally posted by Madhav Lakkapragada:
Sorry Ray, but thanks for the suggestion.

That's the reason for the disclaimer. I get my film through cleanfilms.com and even with the editing I still couldn't let my kids watch it. Its the subject matter that is tough.

[Frank Silbermann]

Originally posted by kayal cox:
I am curious to know, are there people who like the taste of beer right away, or is it an acquired taste? I took a sip of IPA from the most famous brewery in my town, and man, it was bitter! The hostess of the party took pity on me, and got me some of the 'lighter' versions, but I didn't find their taste any better. But the guys around me chugged down pitcher after pitcher of the stuff.

The first time I enjoyed the taste of beer was in college when, after playing tennis on an asphalt court for a couple of hours on a humid 90 degree August afternoon in Florida, we went to the Ratskeller for pizza and beer.

Actually, I think anything with water in it would have tasted good.