Favorite saying/punchline

[Kedar Dravid]

Ok folks, how about each one of us mentioning our favorite sayings/punchlines?
A few good ones I came across on this forum:
Classes should be made into objects. Women should not.
Only dead fish swim with the tide.

[Max Habibi]

[local pushes Harrison Ford, knocks his hat off]
Harrison Ford(whispers): You're making a mistake.

witness
[ April 08, 2005: Message edited by: Max Habibi ]

[Shailesh Chandra]

If we can dream it, we can do it

[Stan James]

Harrison Ford puts me in mind of a favorite throw-away line ... in Holy Grail Indy & the girl are in the catacombs and she spots a picture ... Ford is perfection:

What's that?

Ark of the Covenent.

Are you sure?

Um, yeah, pretty sure.

[Jesse Torres]

"Use the force Luke"

Ben Obi Wan Kenobi

[Eric Pascarello]

Documentation is like sex; when it's good, it's very, very good, and when it's bad, it's better than nothing. (Dick Brandon)


It is not a bug it is a feature.


SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0

[Roger Johnson]

here is a look of you, kid -- casablanca

damn it, actually it is not that good

[Jim Yingst]

[EP]: Documentation is like sex; when it's good, it's very, very good, and when it's bad, it's better than nothing. (Dick Brandon)

May seem true at the time, but afterwards you may regret the encounter.

[RJ]: damn it, actually it is not that good

Perhaps if you looked up the actual quote, you might be better able to judge?

[Roger Johnson]

here we go:
-------------------------------

Rick: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.
Ilsa: But, Richard, no, I... I...
Rick: Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louie?
Capt. Renault: I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.
Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.
Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.
Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

[Roger Johnson]

Casablanca

[Sripathi Krishnamurthy]

"common sense" is a thing that is not common among people - anonymous

[Jeroen Wenting]

A duck!

Let's see who is the first to guess the movie

[ali haider]

I have few....

Cut the crap, show me the code.....

Good programmers know what to write. Great ones know what to rewrite (and reuse).

Real programmers think structured programming is a communist plot.

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read

Real programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck

First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win

[Peter Rooke]

Not really a quote, but here is a funny Naval radio conversation:

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
[ April 11, 2005: Message edited by: Peter Rooke ]

[john wesley]

Instant Mix Imperial Democracy: Buy One, Get One Free --Arundhati Roy

[shar KV]

"Good manners without sincerity is like a beautiful dead women" - swami sri Yukteswar (Autobiography of a Yogi).

"Blame not the whole for the fault of many,be like the wise ant that goes in search of sugar and leaves the sand untouched" - Mahamuni Babaji (Autobiography of a Yogi).

[Jeroen Wenting]

"read the Javaranch naming policy" Paul Wheaton

[Jason Menard]

From Happy Gilmore...

Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.

The Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up!

-------------------------------

"You move slower than old people f@$k!" - My drill instructor in basic training, to one of the other recruits.

[fred rosenberger]

Elwood:It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?

[a brief thinking pause while Jake Blues lights a cigarette]

Jake: Fix the cigarette lighter.

[Gerald Davis]

�If you ever feel like you want to die, make sure you are living for the right reasons�. Love isn�t included however.

[Eric Pascarello]

~Family Guy~
Peter Griffin: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says 'OOOOOOOO'.
Brian Griffin: Peter, those are Cheerios.

~The Simpsons~
---
Ooh, they have the Internet on computers now! (Homer Simpson)
---
What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them - as is my understanding... (Bart Simpson)

[Gail Schlentz]

See Dick Drink.
See Dick Drive.
See Dick Die.
Don't be a Dick.

[Marc Peabody]

Originally posted by Jeroen Wenting:
A duck!

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

[miguel lisboa]

the diference between stupidity and inteligence is that the former has no limits

[Ed Villamizar]

While taking a look at another popular thread on this board, the one about the smallest number, the following quote came to my mind:

"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument."
William G. McAdoo

I guess that the one just posted by Miguel also applies!!

Ed
[ April 13, 2005: Message edited by: Ed Villamizar ]

[Kedar Dravid]

In Lucas Arts' epic game, Grim Fandango, when skeletal agent Grim is unable to get out of his boss's room:
'Open that door Sal, I've got places to go'.

[Warren Dew]

Jesse Torres:

"Use the force Luke"

Ben Obi Wan Kenobi

"Do not try. Do. There is no try."

Yoda

[Dave Lenton]

Albert Einstein:

I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice

Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.

Douglas Adams:

A puddle wakes up one morning and thinks: "This is a very interesting world I find myself in. It fits me very neatly. In fact it fits me so neatly... I mean really precise isn't it?... It must have been made to have me in it." And the sun rises, and it's continuing to narrate this story about how this hole must have been made to have him in it. And as the sun rises, and gradually the puddle is shrinking and shrinking and shrinking� and by the time the puddle ceases to exist, it's still thinking� it's still trapped in this idea that� that the hole was there for it. And if we think that the world is here for us we will continue to destroy it in the way that we have been destroying it, because we think that we can do no harm.

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

Martin Golding:

Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you live.

Jeremy F. Hummond:

Linux is only free if your time is worthless.

Jim Showalter:

The smiley is an attack on writers and readers alike. If it is funny, it doesn't need a smiley. If is not funny, a smiley won't help it. The smiley teaches writers that anything they write will pass as humor as long as it is punctuated properly. It teaches readers that they must ignore their better judgment, and look only at punctuation to determine intent.

Michael Sinz:

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

[ April 26, 2005: Message edited by: Dave Lenton ]