Things I learned in 3rd grade.

[Gregg Bolinger]

I've known this since 3rd grade.

One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
The deaf policeman heard the noice
Came and shot the two dead boys
Now if you don't believe this lie is true
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

In hindsite I'm not sure this was the best thing to teach a 3rd grader. I know that when learning it we focused on contradictions, which probably took the focus off the content. But it seems a little hard to be teaching 8-9 year olds about shooting someone with a sword and being dead.

Times sure are different. I'd suspect if a child came home with a poem to memorize like that today, a lawsuit is just waiting to happen.

[Stan James]

Whoah, third grade. The worst experience of my life. The teacher was a hateful woman who dispised children and lived to humiliate and degrade them. She only taught school because she poisoned her husband and then found out he had no insurance. I'm pretty sure. At the end of the year she gathered us together and with tears of joy in her eyes said the school was transferring her to fourth grade and she asked to keep each and every one of us in her class for another year. If any of us had known how to start the car in the garage we would have all gone in together.

[Greg Charles]

I learned how to spell Greg.

[Gregg Bolinger]

Originally posted by Greg Charles:
I learned how to spell Greg.

Actually, what you learned is how to spell the shortened version of Gregorey. My name is not Gregorey.

[Woody BuckThorn]

I learned to never poke a mean dog with a stick. Mean dogs are better to have as friends. And not to fool with cats at all.
[ August 01, 2006: Message edited by: Woody BuckThorn ]

[Greg Charles]

Gregory. Still, I've been reading your posts for a couple of years now, and they are always highly intelligent, but poorly spelled. (Hindsite?) I can only conclude that bad spelling is genetic.

[Gregg Bolinger]

Originally posted by Greg Charles:
Gregory. Still, I've been reading your posts for a couple of years now, and they are always highly intelligent, but poorly spelled. (Hindsite?) I can only conclude that bad spelling is genetic.

Ha, it might be. I've never claimed to be able to spell well. But I can rhyme anytime.

[Greg Charles]

Wait a minute. Are you saying you learned that "poem" in class, as opposed to in the schoolyard where the rest of us learned it? I agree that's a bit odd. Did you have to write an essay about great gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts too?

[Gregg Bolinger]

Originally posted by Greg Charles:
Wait a minute. Are you saying you learned that "poem" in class, as opposed to in the schoolyard where the rest of us learned it? I agree that's a bit odd. Did you have to write an essay about great gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts too?

Yes, learned it in class. Can't recall great gobs of greasy drimy gopher guts though. Tell me more.

[Greg Charles]

How did you get through 3rd grade without learning this one?

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdies' dirty feet,
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
And I forgot my spoon!


As regards the original post, for parents to successfully launch a lawsuit, they would probably have to prove they had protected their little monsters from such corrupting influences as Hansel and Gretel (mother figure pushed into oven), Little Red Riding Hood (grandmother eaten alive, then recued by disemboweling a wolf), and Cinderella (foot mutilation for profit). It's hard to imagine a demographic more fascinated with the morbid than 3rd graders.