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Signs you travel too much

 
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In "celebration" of my next assignment not being local....

  • Your regular commute to work is on an airplane
  • You know the layout of the planes you regularly fly on.
  • You have "your seat" on the airplane.
  • You start to recognize the flight crew.
  • The flight crew recognizes you.
  • You ask the stewardess how the kids are doing.
  • Landings used to be white knuckle terror moments. Now the pilot can go into a steep dive and your biggest concern is if he's going to miss his first approach.
  • Your only concern with turbulence is that it makes it hard to read your book.
  • You start rating the pilot on the quality of his landing. "8.5, he came in pretty shaky, but still managed to pull of a smooth landing except for a somewhat hard brake near the end."
  • Instead of saying "buh-bye", the flight crew says "See you later".
  • You take a week off and one of the flight crew asks what happened to you last week.
  • You think noise cancelling headphones are "The best $60 you ever spent".
  • When you get your gate and terminal number for your flight, you know where the closest restaurants and bars are without having to look it up.
  • When you walk up to the gate attendent, they tell you the status of your upgrade without you having to ask.
  • You have ever, even once, put your hand out to make the person in front of you think their seat was reclined all the way.
  • You shop from the SkyMall catalog.
  • When you hear about bad weather like thunderstorms, tornadoes, or hurricanes, you're first thought is "I bet this means my flight is delayed".
  • You've entered a level on the frequent flyer program so elite that an airline Vice President personally delivers the membership packet to your house.
  • You disconnect your home phone because you're never there.
  • Your kids refer to you as "that person who sleeps here on the weekends".
  • Participating in the "bring your kids to work" day involves plane tickets.
  • You start referring to going back to the hotel as "going home".
  • The hotel staff knows you by name.
  • The hotel staff knows your room number without having to look it up.
  • You miss the evening reception and the hotel staff has saved you a little something.
  • You are stunned that there are people out there that have to pay for their own meals.
  • You balk at the concept that you can expense 4 beers for $16 at a restaurant but 12 beers for $10 at the grocery store is a no-no.
  • You'll only drink booze you don't have to pay for.
  • You don't like to expense less than $15 because you think it makes you look cheap.
  • You favor assignments that offer "per diem".
  • You know all of the backroads and shortcuts around the area that you travel to but have forgotten how to get to the Wal-Mart nearest your house.
  • Your personal automobile is the one you drive the least.
  • You have mastered the art of getting everything you need for a week into two bags.
  • You have conversations with other business travellers about your favorite airports.
  • You not only recognize the other business travellers, but you know which companies most of them work for.
  • You routinely expand your professional network at the airport or on the plane.
  • Your idea of a vacation is spending some time at home.
  • Calling your kids from a hotel room becomes part of their regular bedtime routine.
  • You are tired of eating out.
  • You have accumulated enough hotel points that you could live in one for a year.
  • You have enough frequent flier miles to fly anywhere in the world. With your spouse. Twice.
  • People start assuming your spouse is a single parent.
  • You start a betting pool as to whether your flight will leave on time for a change.
  • The ground crew is in on the pool.
  • The pilot "wants in on that action".
  • When you go to a restaurant at the airport, the waitstaff asks if you want "the usual".
  • Your roommate starts using your room for storage.
  • Your roommate has rented out your room.
  • You've found it's easier to date someone in the city you work rather than the city you supposedly live in.
  • People you know stop asking "Are you still travelling?"
  • "What are you doing in town" becomes a normal greeting.
  • You've given into the inevitable and now go through security stark naked except for your boarding pass and a smile. Smile optional.
  • You've been flagged for a random check by security more than once.
  • You have ever ordered something and had it delivered to your hotel room instead of your home.
  • The maid service no longer knocks on your door before cleaning your room. They know when you leave and wait till your gone.
  • You would never buy a used car that was once a rental because you know how you treat them.
  • "It's a rental!" is no longer a punchline, but rather a personal philosophy.
  • You refer to your briefcase as "your office".
  • People at your home office refer to you as a "Road Warrior"
  • People at your home office don't know what you look like.
  • You walk into the home office and are challenged by the receptionist when you try to go into the back.
  • You get a new manager at work and you never meet them face-to-face.
  • You consider a job that requires 90% travel so you would have more time at home.
  • You have enough upgrades that you can avoid flying coach for a month.
  • You fly an airline because they're the only ones with a direct flight to where you're going, then laugh when they say "We know you have a choice in air travel and thank you for choosing us."
  • It gets funnier everytime you hear it.
  • No matter where you are on the airplane, you always end up at the front of the crowd.
  • People start following you in the airport because "You look like you know where you're going."
  • Airport employees ask YOU for directions.

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    hmm, always knew my father used to travel too much for business...
    All the following applied to him, before his doctors told him to stop working within a year or be dead in 2 at the age of 55:


    Your regular commute to work is on an airplane
    You know the layout of the planes you regularly fly on.
    You have "your seat" on the airplane.
    You start to recognize the flight crew.
    The flight crew recognizes you.
    Your only concern with turbulence is that it makes it hard to read your book.
    When you get your gate and terminal number for your flight, you know where the closest restaurants and bars are without having to look it up.
    When you hear about bad weather like thunderstorms, tornadoes, or hurricanes, you're first thought is "I bet this means my flight is delayed".
    You start referring to going back to the hotel as "going home".
    The hotel staff knows you by name.
    The hotel staff knows your room number without having to look it up.
    You balk at the concept that you can expense 4 beers for $16 at a restaurant but 12 beers for $10 at the grocery store is a no-no.
    You know all of the backroads and shortcuts around the area that you travel to but have forgotten how to get to the Wal-Mart nearest your house.
    Your personal automobile is the one you drive the least.
    You have mastered the art of getting everything you need for a week into two bags.
    You have conversations with other business travellers about your favorite airports.
    Your idea of a vacation is spending some time at home.
    Calling your kids from a hotel room becomes part of their regular bedtime routine.
    You are tired of eating out.
    You have accumulated enough hotel points that you could live in one for a year.
    You have enough frequent flier miles to fly anywhere in the world. With your spouse. Twice.
    People start assuming your spouse is a single parent.
    When you go to a restaurant at the airport, the waitstaff asks if you want "the usual".
    You've been flagged for a random check by security more than once.
    The maid service no longer knocks on your door before cleaning your room. They know when you leave and wait till your gone.
    You have enough upgrades that you can avoid flying coach for a month.
    People start following you in the airport because "You look like you know where you're going."



    Several of course also apply to me, but for different reasons
     
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