Just Hilarious !!!!
Chetan Parekh
Ranch Hand
Posts: 3640
posted 10 years ago
Once a man went to a Veterinary (Animal) Doctor and said: Doctor I came on vacation so that I can get treatment.
Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic.
Man: No, I am coming to you. You should not have any problem treating me.
Doctor: But, I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist.
Man: I know, but I want you to treat me.
Doctor: I cannot, because you speak like me and think like me which means You are a human, not an animal.
Man: I know I am same and I am a human but the problem is I get up in the morning like a horse, I go to work like a deer, I work all day like a donkey, I wag my tail in front of my manager like a dog, I come home very late & then play with my children like a monkey, I am like a rabbit in front of my wife.
Doctor asked: Do you work for XYZ?(I removed the original company name, you are free to guess)
Man: Yes.
Doctor: Come dear, no body will treat you better than me.
Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic.
Man: No, I am coming to you. You should not have any problem treating me.
Doctor: But, I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist.
Man: I know, but I want you to treat me.
Doctor: I cannot, because you speak like me and think like me which means You are a human, not an animal.
Man: I know I am same and I am a human but the problem is I get up in the morning like a horse, I go to work like a deer, I work all day like a donkey, I wag my tail in front of my manager like a dog, I come home very late & then play with my children like a monkey, I am like a rabbit in front of my wife.
Doctor asked: Do you work for XYZ?(I removed the original company name, you are free to guess)
Man: Yes.
Doctor: Come dear, no body will treat you better than me.
My blood is tested +ve for Java.
posted 10 years ago
My cat doesn't get it either, so I don't think it's an animal joke.
"We're kind of on the level of crossword puzzle writers... And no one ever goes to them and gives them an award." ~Joe Strummer
sscce.org
John Smith
Ranch Hand
Posts: 2937
posted 10 years ago
The meaning of the joke was distorted by a revision. The original joke was "..., I look like a cow, I sell short in a bull market, I act like a calf, and I like veal parmigiana". However, since the cow was declared a sacred animal by the Indian government in 1997, the original joke was deemed "offensive", and the animal in question was replaced by other species which are believed to be lower in their caste. Thus the new joke.
posted 10 years ago
Now I'm even more confused (unless John's explanation was itself a joke).
"We're kind of on the level of crossword puzzle writers... And no one ever goes to them and gives them an award." ~Joe Strummer
sscce.org
John Smith
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Posts: 2937
Rohit Nath
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Posts: 387
Chetan Parekh
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Posts: 3640
Nischal Tanna
Ranch Hand
Posts: 182
posted 10 years ago
Top 10 Heights*
1. What is height of Fashion?
A. Dhoti with a zip
2. What is height of Secrecy?
A. Offering blank visiting cards.
3. What is height of Activelaziness?
A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
5. What is height of Craziness?
A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
7. What is height of Stupidity?
A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
8. What is height of Honesty?
A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
9. What is height of Suicide?
A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
10. What is height of De-hydration?
A. A cow giving milk powder
1. What is height of Fashion?
A. Dhoti with a zip
2. What is height of Secrecy?
A. Offering blank visiting cards.
3. What is height of Activelaziness?
A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
5. What is height of Craziness?
A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
7. What is height of Stupidity?
A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
8. What is height of Honesty?
A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
9. What is height of Suicide?
A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
10. What is height of De-hydration?
A. A cow giving milk powder
Thnx
Srikanth Raghavan
Ranch Hand
Posts: 389
Ulf Dittmer
Rancher
Posts: 42970
73
posted 10 years ago
He is not related to M. Webber, but he is, in fact, the inventor of the weber grill, beloved by barbecue afficionados the world over. He is also easily confused with the other Marc Weber.
[ February 09, 2007: Message edited by: Ulf Dittmer ]
By the way, are you, by any chance, the Formula 1 driver Mark Webber?
He is not related to M. Webber, but he is, in fact, the inventor of the weber grill, beloved by barbecue afficionados the world over. He is also easily confused with the other Marc Weber.
[ February 09, 2007: Message edited by: Ulf Dittmer ]
posted 10 years ago
Hmmm... That must have been the Formula 1 driver (or the grill), because it wasn't me.
Originally posted by Srikanth Raghavan:
...I once asked him the same question, when he deleted my post or closed it or I don't remember exactly but he did something to me. But he never answered me the question.
Hmmm... That must have been the Formula 1 driver (or the grill), because it wasn't me."We're kind of on the level of crossword puzzle writers... And no one ever goes to them and gives them an award." ~Joe Strummer
sscce.org
posted 10 years ago
Henry, it is like this, kind of the same joke.
Two Elephants are in a bath tub
One elephant says to the other
"Pass the soap"
The other elephant goes
"No Soap, RADIO!"
Mark
Originally posted by Henry Wong:
I know that the adage, "if you need to explain a joke, it's not funny", applies in this case... but still... could the original poster please explain the joke?
Henry
Henry, it is like this, kind of the same joke.
Two Elephants are in a bath tub
One elephant says to the other
"Pass the soap"
The other elephant goes
"No Soap, RADIO!"
Mark
John Smith
Ranch Hand
Posts: 2937
posted 10 years ago
I had to wiki No Soap Radio to understand what you mean, and I think you are adding to the total confusion in this thread, Mark.
The originally posted joke is not a "No soap, radio" type, although there is indeed a similarity, considering that the setup is actually funnier than the punch line. Unlike the "No soap, radio", which is the "anti-humor" joke, the originally posted joke appears to be an honest (although a miserably failed) attempt at humor. Its gross deficiency is actually in that it tries to explain its own punchline (which is the passage about the animalistic attributes of a person). In effect, the punch line precedes the setup (which is the reference to the patient working for company XYZ).
Consider this example:
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he said, "What is it?". "It's called the door!".
Now, suppose the joke didn't end there, but proceeded with another sentence: "Well", the man thought, "it sounds like they don't like me". With this addition, the joke is not a joke anymore, as the cardinal rule of joke telling is brutally violated. That's exactly the situation with the originally posted joke. If it didn't have the last three lines, it may have been marginally funny. But in its current form as we see it in the first post, it's lame beyond comprehension.
I hope this answers your question, Henry.
The students in the "humor studies" may also find the anti-humor Wikipedia entry relevant. Some jokes are purposefully made so unfunny that they become funny. Here is an example:
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: "Where's my tractor?"
There is a similar quality in the "animal joke". What makes it funny is that the original poster found it "hilarious".
[ February 10, 2007: Message edited by: John Smith ]
Originally posted by Mark Spritzler:
it is like this, kind of the same joke.
Two Elephants are in a bath tub
One elephant says to the other
"Pass the soap"
The other elephant goes
"No Soap, RADIO!"
I had to wiki No Soap Radio to understand what you mean, and I think you are adding to the total confusion in this thread, Mark.
The originally posted joke is not a "No soap, radio" type, although there is indeed a similarity, considering that the setup is actually funnier than the punch line. Unlike the "No soap, radio", which is the "anti-humor" joke, the originally posted joke appears to be an honest (although a miserably failed) attempt at humor. Its gross deficiency is actually in that it tries to explain its own punchline (which is the passage about the animalistic attributes of a person). In effect, the punch line precedes the setup (which is the reference to the patient working for company XYZ).
Consider this example:
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he said, "What is it?". "It's called the door!".
Now, suppose the joke didn't end there, but proceeded with another sentence: "Well", the man thought, "it sounds like they don't like me". With this addition, the joke is not a joke anymore, as the cardinal rule of joke telling is brutally violated. That's exactly the situation with the originally posted joke. If it didn't have the last three lines, it may have been marginally funny. But in its current form as we see it in the first post, it's lame beyond comprehension.
I hope this answers your question, Henry.
The students in the "humor studies" may also find the anti-humor Wikipedia entry relevant. Some jokes are purposefully made so unfunny that they become funny. Here is an example:
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: "Where's my tractor?"
There is a similar quality in the "animal joke". What makes it funny is that the original poster found it "hilarious".
[ February 10, 2007: Message edited by: John Smith ]
posted 10 years ago
Now, that's not fair: stop making sense!
Originally posted by John Smith:
That's exactly the situation with the originally posted joke. If it didn't have the last three lines, it may have been marginally funny. But in its current form as we see it in the first post, it's lame beyond comprehension.
Now, that's not fair: stop making sense!
posted 10 years ago
Yes. That was perfect.
I even found a way to fix the joke...
Henry
I hope this answers your question, Henry.
Yes. That was perfect.
I even found a way to fix the joke...
Once a man went to a Veterinary (Animal) Doctor and said: Doctor I came on vacation so that I can get treatment.
Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic.
Man: No, I am coming to you. You should not have any problem treating me.
Doctor: But, I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist.
Man: I know, but I want you to treat me.
Doctor: I cannot, because you speak like me and think like me which means You are a human, not an animal.
Man: I know I am same and I am a human but the problem is I get up in the morning like a horse, I go to work like a deer, I work all day like a donkey, I wag my tail in front of my manager like a dog, I come home very late & then play with my children like a monkey, I am like a rabbit in front of my wife.
Doctor asked: Do you work for XYZ?(I removed the original company name, you are free to guess)
Man: Yes.
Doctor: Come dear, no body will treat you better than me.
Man: Really?!? You will treat me?
Doctor: Yes, but first let's clean you up.
Man: With Soap?
Doctor: No Soap, RADIO !!
Henry
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