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English to Germanised English

 
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Many years ago I read a funny e-mail a colleague had sent me and I trying to find that funny paragrapgh. It started out with "correct" English sentence and bit by bit, words were translated into Germanised English.

I have spent a good 3-4 days trying to find it. If someone knows what I am talking about and has that piece of literary jewel, could you please post it?

Arun
 
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Originally posted by Arun Bommannavar:

I have spent a good 3-4 days trying to find it.



Where do you work? I wanna join your company.
 
Wanderer
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I don't know if this is it, but you may enjoy The Awful German Language by Mark Twain.
 
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It might be this one:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union, rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in our
languag is disgrasful and should be eliminated.

By the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary
"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis, and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza -- Ze drem of a
united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
speking German, like zey vunted us to in ze forst plas.

 
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Great !
 
Arun Bommannavar
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Ulf,

datzit!!! danku!!
 
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With all this mergers in Europe we tend to have more collaboration between teams from non-native english speaking countries.
I have experienced 2 times that this may create its own flavour of blaming & fingerpointing culture. I had a collegues who increasingly complained of the quality of English of the other team. "Oh these Portuguese write an English nobody understands". And it actually was quite good and I very well knew that our English had lots of peculiarities. Maybe more than theirs.
 
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Originally posted by Ulf Dittmer:
By the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary
"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis, and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza -- Ze drem of a
united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
speking German, like zey vunted us to in ze forst plas.



I could swear that sounds like dutch
 
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