the trailboss abuses his CodeRanch power for his other stuff (power corrupts. absolute power corrupts absolutely is kinda neat!)
permaculture light bulbs permaculture electric heat permaculture cast iron permaculture wood burning stove permaculture solar food dehydrators
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Stephen Wright-isms  RSS feed

 
Bert Bates
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You can't have everything... where would you put it?


When I was a child we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child... eventually


I have the world's largest sea shell collection. Maybe you've seen it... I store it on beaches


I just bought some dehydrated water but I don't know what to add


I have a map of the US but it's hard to fold... the scale is 1" = 1"


When you buy a bag of cotton balls are you supposed to throw out the top one?
 
Anand Hariharan
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Originally posted by Bert Bates:
When I was a child we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child... eventually
[/QB]


Future JVM implementations better watch out ("quick sandbox")...
 
Mark Spritzler
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More.

"It's a small world. But I'd hate to paint it."

"I have all the erasers to all the miniature golf pencils in the world"

"One day I accidently tried to open my house's front door with my car ignition key. The house started up, so I took it for a spin. I was driving down the Highway yelling at everyone to get off my driveway"


Mark
 
Bob Reardon
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More...

One night I couldn't sleep so I got up. I went down to the corner store, because I new it was open 24 hours.
When I got there I saw the owner locking up.
I said "What are you doing, I thought this store was open 24 hours."
He looked at me and said, "Not in a row."

The other night when I got home, I noticed the power was out in my house. I couldn't find a flash light, but I did find my camera with an electronic flash. I used it to make a snack. Now I have 36 pictures of me making a sandwich. The neighbors called to tell me they saw lightning in my house.

Last January I was on a ski lift with this guy. He said he was looking forward to going sking because he was away for so long. I asked where did he go. He said he was in prison for 20 years for pushing a perfect stranger off of a ski lift. I said "I remember you."

I once lived in a house that was run on static electricity. If you wanted to turn on a light, you had to take a sweater off real fast.


-Bob
 
Doug Slattery
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I have a museum. It contains the missing arms and legs of statues from other museums.

Aloha,
Doug

-- Nothing is impossible if I'mPossible
 
Ben Souther
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"24 hour banking; I don't have time for that"
 
marc weber
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Once I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

The other day I... Oh, wait. That wasn't me.

I just drove across the country. I only had one tape, so I kept listening to the same thing over and over. I don't recall what it was.
[ February 02, 2008: Message edited by: marc weber ]
 
marc weber
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Originally posted by Mark Spritzler:
..."One day I accidently tried to open my house's front door with my car ignition key. The house started up, so I took it for a spin. I was driving down the Highway yelling at everyone to get off my driveway"...

A cop pulled me over and asked where I lived. I said, "Right here."
 
Gregg Bolinger
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"Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much bigger the ocean would be if that didn't happen."

"So I got off the plain and I forgot to undo my seatbelt. I'm walking through the terminal and wings are knocking people over."
 
Frank Silbermann
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Emo Phillips had a similar style. I liked when he said:

"Don't talk to me about women; I know all about women. I learned about women the hard way -- from books."
 
Bert Bates
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I bought a pack of batteries... but they weren't included
 
Gail Schlentz
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I woke up one morning and everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.

 
Glen Tanner
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"I'm having deja vu and amnesia at the same time."
 
marc weber
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I have a half twin.
 
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