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Steven Wright's greatest hits ?!

 
author
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Don't know how I missed this one...

'Cross country skiing is great... if you live in a small country'
 
Sheriff
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Mac Safari Java
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I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
 
Bartender
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"Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?"
 
Ranch Hand
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Mac OS X IntelliJ IDE Chrome
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"Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen."
 
Ranch Hand
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Some people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.
 
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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now he's gone.
 
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