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I must be so lucky

 
Java Cowboy
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Patrick Lee, who says he is an attorney and calls me his friend, "discovered my email and information through comprehensive web email search on directory". He says "I know this sounds like a scam because of lot of activities going on the internet. But I assure you that this is real." Ofcourse it is, Patrick, my friend! He has US$ 10,600,000.00 waiting for me from a deceased client and he wants me to pretend I am the next-of-kin of this deceased person.

Joe Martins who "got your email through a reliable sources" didn't take the trouble to write an elaborate story like Patrick. He just wants me to "work out a profitable and risk free transaction with me".

Kwasi Yoofi wants to sell me 400 kg gold dust, for which I'd have to come to Ghana to inspect it.

Miss Grace Manbasa from Zimbabwe says she is the daughter of some guy who was murdered by president Robert Mugabe and she has US$ 20,000,000 in the bank, of which 20% is for me. She lets me know that this business is 100% risk free.

Rev. Dr. Desmond Great lets me know that there is some diplomatic agent with a box containing US$ 7,200,000 who arrived in Orlando, Florida waiting for me. He asks me to send him all my personal information, including mobile phone number and copy of my passport, to him. He says he is director of thr DHL Courier Company in Benin.

Mr. Isaa IBARAHAM writes to me in ALL UPPERCASE LETTERS (is that supposed to impress me?). He is "A BANKER BY PROFESSION FROM OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO IN WEST AFRICA" and he has "THE OPPORTUNITY OF TRANSFERING THE LEFT OVER FUNDS( $5.6 MILLION)", again from a client who died in a plane crash. Again, he wants me to send him all my personal information.

Peter Anderson was too lazy to come up with an elaborate story and just writes me one line: "I am writing to seek your cooperation in a deal value of $19.8m.Acceptance, I'll need your name,phone/fax number for more details."

Larry Williams writes to me that he will send me an ATM card (it doesn't say how much money is on the account) if I just send him all my personal information.

Mrs. Elizabeth Wang congratulates me with winning the Thai Microsoft Lottery. They chose 25 e-mail addresses from a batch of 50,000,000 and now I've won US$ 1,000,000. Then she lists my ticket number, serial number, lucky number and ref number. (Why four different numbers?). I'll have to send het all my personal information to claim my prize.

I also got an e-mail from the HM Revenue & Customs, from tax credit officer Lisa Frank. She writes to me in an e-mail with logos etc. that make it look like it's from the tax office that I'm getting a tax refund of GBP 244.79. I just have to click a link to get it.

Finally, mr. Salis Akmed from Burkina Faso says he has an abandoned sum of US$ 10,500,000 and he needs my assistance.
 
Bartender
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Ha ha nicely compiled. I remembered reading somewhere that there was a similar offer which was actually real but people thought it to be just another scam
 
author
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Wow. All I get are special offers for Viagra....

Henry
 
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Lucky you! Just a quick circuit through Africa, with a stopover in Florida, and you'll be richer than Croesus.

Ouagadougou is now my favorite capital city name, narrowly beating out Addis Ababa.

BTW here's a relevant XKCD Link
 
Rancher
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After you return from your African tour, I'd like to talk to you about a business venture that can QUADRUPLE YOUR INVESTMENT IN MONTHS. Just send me your personal information and we can get started.
 
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Sadly, these are not quite on the level. The last time I was promised $10 million, I barely cleared $3 million.
 
Consider Paul's rocket mass heater.
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