fangbiao,
When you install jforum it should guide you through the database setup, including prompting you for the database type (hsqldb, mysql, etc.) and the necessary configuration parameters (hostname, port, username, password, etc.) to make the connection.
The jforum-custom.conf in the jforum/WEB-INF/config directory should have the following settings defined:
database.connection.host=my.jforumhost.com
database.connection.port=3306
database.connection.dbname=jforum
database.connection.username=jforum
database.connection.password=jforum
You should be able to set the host to whichever IP/hostname your database is running on. The port number will vary depending on the database you are using; 3306 is the standard MySQL port.
Hope this helps.
[originally posted on jforum.net by Dave Gebhart]