I know something more or less like that.
The Pentaho Business Intelligence suite contains an ETL tool named "Kettle" (also known as Pentaho DI). The ETL rules are storable in an XML file and can be edited by non-programmers via a GUI editor app named "spoon".
Spoon is basically a drag/drop/drool UI where you select sources, destinations, and processing operations into a work area, configure them, and wire them together to make the transformation ruleset.
It is very performant. I have used it to populate databases with hundreds of millions of records at a shot, and that was just basic operation without exploiting its abilities to work with parallelized databases.
The one thing I
don't like about it is that some of the processes are fairly non-intuitive. One of them, in fact, used to be Excel input, but I got so fed up with that one that I made modifications to the source code which have since become a permanent part of the Kettle system.
The secret of how to be miserable is to constantly expect things are going to happen the way that they are "supposed" to happen.
You can have faith, which carries the understanding that you may be disappointed. Then there's being a willfully-blind idiot, which virtually guarantees it.
