Rejection even before the interview!

[Jan de Boer]

I had a first interview a few weeks ago. In the first interview it quickly became clear that I did not like the interviewer, and he did not like me. It's the new manager of a department I used to work. Nevertheless two weeks ago we agreed on a second interview. I had to postpone the interview because of lawyer stuff, since I am being made redundant. Now three days before the interview, he sends me a message he rejects me. I call him, he says it's my personality he does not like. Okay, fair enough, I do not like you either!! Nevertheless because I had that second interview there, in an old company where they know me and my work, I think I have a good chance there, and I turn other things down, or I do not investigate them thoroughly. I mean, if you think this way about me, why don't you tell me this say a week sooner!! Oh, that man, he just thinks from his own perspective. Did it in that first interview too. He cannot imagine that if you invite someone for a second interview, in a company where he has old friends, he is not (much) going to apply for other jobs. I do not mind the rejection, but.... why three days before the interview? Like you are trying to annoy me on purpose! I am angry! He does not like my personality, well, I think he is not such a great person too, sorry. Did not you had the guts to reject me directly or something?

Ah, just want to add: I am not that worried about not getting a job, but this guy his behavior sets my teeth on edge! Well, then even better I am not going to work for him. Maybe it's just for the better.

[Luke Kolin]

Why are you getting so angry?

I start to wonder if some of this is coming across unconsciously in your interactions with potential employers.

Luke

[Jan de Boer]

Normally I would not get this angry, but I just did not like the guy. He acted really arrogant in the first interview. So, yes, you are right that unconsciously this has influenced my interaction with this interviewer. Or not even unconsciously! There were moments in the first interview where I already thought that if he would not stop I would just shake his hand and leave, withdraw my application. Normally I would not act this way though, please trust me on that.

But the thing is that you either 'go' or 'no go', also towards the candidate. You do not plan a second interview three weeks later, and then three days before that interview you say: 'Hey, we just talked about your application internally and decided not to invite you for that already planned interview'. I think it's not well organized. Talk about the first interview internally first, and then 'yes' or 'no' invite me for a second. I am irritated by that guy, but, that is just emotions, and after a few hours that is over. But, hard to explain the details here, but I actually have derogated my chances somewhere else now, and that is not over after a few hours.

Also, I am not sure how it is in your country. But I have never had a second interview without a job offer. So having a second interview for me, normally means a really high chance of getting hired. And you, well, adapt your 'job search behavior' on that too. Well, I did anyway. Maybe that was my mistake then? But I had say 6 jobs in 20 years. And on all 6 second interviews, I got a contract in my hands. But maybe that is just me, and coincidence??

Another thing, just to help me improve my English. Is 'derogated' the right word? I was searching in the dictionary what word I could use for the Dutch word 'benadelen'. I could not really find a one on one translation.

[Deepak Bala]

Another thing, just to help me improve my English. Is 'derogated' the right word ?

'squandered' seems like an appropriate word to use in this context. Google translate does say derogate can be used as a synonym - http://translate.google.com/#auto/en/benadelen. I like `squandered` better. May be it is a matter of taste

squandered - Allow (an opportunity) to pass or be lost.

Yes it was not professional to schedule a 2nd interview with you and then tell you that the position will not be offered. It does happen. Just move on since mulling over it will only make you unhappy.

[Luke Kolin]

Jan de Boer wrote:But the thing is that you either 'go' or 'no go', also towards the candidate. You do not plan a second interview three weeks later, and then three days before that interview you say: 'Hey, we just talked about your application internally and decided not to invite you for that already planned interview'. I think it's not well organized. Talk about the first interview internally first, and then 'yes' or 'no' invite me for a second.

There could be a variety of issues. Maybe they changed their mind about you, maybe they had another candidate they were interviewing that they liked a lot more. Who knows? Again, no point to worry since you'll never know the answer.

Also, I am not sure how it is in your country. But I have never had a second interview without a job offer. So having a second interview for me, normally means a really high chance of getting hired.

I understand the disappointment, but it's difficult to apply past patterns to future or present events. People may have a different style, or there may be other factors at play that you don't know about. Point is, you may need to kiss a lot of frogs to find your princess employment-wise so it doesn't help to take anything too personally.

Cheers!

Luke

[Jayesh A Lalwani]

Is it the same interview that you had here

If yes, then I want to know, why did you expect to get hired? After a bad interview like that, I wouldn't change my "job search behavior"

If no, then I want to know, why are you having so many problems with interviewers?!

[Jan de Boer]

First, it's a few days ago, it's not important anymore. I do not stay angry that long. :-)

But to explain: The former team lead and a senior programmer there actually invited me to apply for a job a few times before. At those moments I had another project and could not leave. The bad interview was with the new team lead. It is difficult to explain all the details, but they already knew me, and there was no new information for them. I worked with them before. There is no other candidate either, I called them and asked. The problem here is that the decision could have been made weeks ago!! That was my main frustration.

My guess is that from the group of people that make the decision, a couple liked me very much, but some others totally did not like me. That decision was a hot potato for them for two weeks, postponing that decision, but finally they made the decision to cancel the second interview.

[chris webster]

OK, it's kind of rude to mess you around like this. But as you didn't like the guy, he didn't like you, and (I'm guessing) neither of you would want to work with each other, then it seems he did you a favour by not wasting more of your time on another interview. Good luck with your next interview, anyway.

[Jan de Boer]

@Chris, you more than 100% right! Of course I neither should judge people by my own first impression too much, but, like he acted, I did not want to work for him. :-)