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Where's my paperclip?!

 
Sheriff
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I came to work today and flipped my calendar to December. During this process, the paperclip I'd bent to hang the calendar onto my cubicle wall dropped to the floor. I stooped down to pick it up and discovered that it had apparently ceased to exist. It's not on the floor in any direction. It's not under the cubicle wall. It's not in the garbage can. It's not in my shoes or trouser cuffs. How do small objects manage this? One bounce and ... poof. Gone forever. Of course, I could just bend another paperclip into shape, but no! I want answers!

And yes, a small part of me is crying, "O bent paperclip, where ever you've gone, please take me with you."
 
Sheriff
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It's with the unmatched socks that have disappeared.
 
Sheriff
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I'm pretty sure he was hired by a time travelling agent from the late nineties. Remember, they needed thousands and thousands helpful paperclips at that time:

 
Java Cowboy
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Maybe it tunnelled through the wall and is now on the floor of your coworker's cubicle.
 
Bartender
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It's just a glitch in The Matrix.
 
Bartender
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It's easy: just do as Sherlock Holmes.

Rule out all the places where it could be but is not. Then there will be only one place left, no matter how unlikely,
namely the only place where you didn't look. So look there, problem solved.

Greetz,
Piet
 
Martin Vashko
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A quantum fluctuation has turned a paper clip into a microscopic black hole. Despite a frantic search, it escaped from the cubicle and is now drifting slowly towards the center of the Earth, where, a few years and a few major earthquakes later, it will be the cause of the demise of the entire planet.

Category 9: the Paperclip. In theaters on the start of the fiscal year.
 
Piet Souris
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Martin, please!

Making fun out of the OP. How can you, the poor guy's just lost a complete functioning paperclip!
 
Marshal
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Piet Souris wrote: . . . Then there will be only one place left, no matter how unlikely, . . .

Down the back of the sofa.
 
Campbell Ritchie
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And when you find it, it will be in the last place you looked.
 
Martin Vashko
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If I had a really lot of time on my hands, I'd love to shoot a trailer for the Paperclip disaster movie!


Robert is standing in his office near Large Hadron Collider in CERN. Some complicated machine is seen in the background, a quiet hum is heard.

Robert is carefully bending a paperclip. He sticks the paperclip into a hole in the wall, turns around for a calendar, but when he turns back, the paperclip is nowhere to be seen.

Suzanne (enters the door): "Oh my God!". They look at each other in horror.

A small hole appears in the floor. The hum of the LHC is slowly dying. Robert and Suzanne rush to the stairs, running to the floor beneath. They inspect the ceilings and floors in the entire building. The hole is a little bit bigger on every level.

Eventually they run into an underground garage. As they step in, a Cadillac is being crushed from the inside, all by itself, into smaller and smaller metal ball, until it disappears in a bright flash. As the flash washes out, a large hole is seen in the concrete.

CUT

Outside of the LHC. A side of the LHC building is torn open, blue light glows in the inside and sparks run from snapped wiring. Some people kneel around, puking.

In the foreground there is a big hole in the ground. Air is rushing into the hole at gale speed, dragging furniture, trees and animals inside. A person disappears in the hole, screaming heartbreakingly.

Joe Patterson (Bruce Willis) stands a few feet from the hole, wearing a helmet and overalls, leaning against the wind. He yells something, but we don't hear him due to the wind. The camera angle shifts to reveal a new stadium being built nearby. Joe organizes three trucks, which pull a giant cupola, originally the roof for the new stadium, over the screaming hole. Joe drives the inner truck, which goes too close to the hole. The truck is sucked in, but Joe jumps out of the cabin and pulls the cable by bare hands. As the cupola slowly covers the hole, the gale dies off.

CUT

Professor Clemens (Tom Hanks) is standing in a laboratory. Every flip chart and every monitor in the room contains a drawing of a bent paperclip. On the monitors, there are animations showing the paper clip being crushed into a single pixel. Professor Clemens pensively stares at the pixel. Professor Clemens pensively stares at the magnifying glass in his hand.

CUT

Major earthquake hits New York. Major tsunami hits New York. An asteroid hits New York. An ice age comes to New York and covers it with ice.

CUT

Earthquake is shaking the cupola. Cracks are appearing on the segments. Joe stands nearby and is in the process of wearing a space suit. A massive steel chain is fastened to the space suit. Joe enters an airlock into the cupola and starts welding additional beams there, leaning against the chain. A new wave of earthquake hits and the acetylene burner falls down the hole.

CUT

Professor Clemens hand a magnifying glass to Joe in the airlock. Inside the cupola, Joe hangs himself on the steel chain attached to a crane and is slowly lowered down the hole, till he disappears in the dark.
 
Rancher
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Mini wormholes form and collapse around us all the time. The pin dropped through a wormhole that collapsed right after. The pin has travelled through space and time and will appear at the other end in the future.

I suspect there is an anomaly in my house and a large number of wormholes open with one end under my sofa.
 
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