Corrupt a wish

[Heena Agarwal]

I don't know if this game has been played before, but it's a fun game.

The rules are simple. The first post makes a wish. And the next post adds a funny or ironic consequence to corrupt it and makes a new wish.

Like for example,

First poster - I wish I could breath in water.

Next poster - Granted but now you can't breath on land.
<And he posts his wish also... >

and so on..

Ok, so my turn.

I wish that the spammers couldn't find my email id.

[Jeanne Boyarsky]

Fun.

Granted. Emails now cost 50 cents each to send.

I wish batteries lasted longer

[R. Jain]

Granted. But once it discharges, you have to buy a new one.
Fun Game though

[Heena Agarwal]

Indeed, but in 2014 every fun thing will end too soon.

I wish I could fly.

[Jesper de Jong]

Granted. But now you can't use your hands to do anything useful anymore (because they've turned into wings).

I wish I had more hair on my head.

[R. Jain]

Lol. Granted. But it will grow fast enough to necessitate a hair cut every 3rd day.

I wish it wasn't really about money.

[Heena Agarwal]

Granted, but money is all you have now. (:chuckles)

I wish for a chocolate bar.

[fred rosenberger]

Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish for a chocolate bar.

Granted, along with a serious chocolate allergy.

I wish for a nap.

[R. Jain]

Granted. But a scary dream is waiting to happen.

I wish I could dance well.

[Bear Bibeault]

Granted. You are now Sleeping Beauty. (Beat on fred's wish).

Granted, you are a bee.

I wish for long health.

[Jeremy McNally]

Granted but now you must get a physical everyday by your doctor and cavity checks.

I wish to be a super expert in Java (and for the finest bottle of wine).

[Paul Clapham]

Congratulations! You're now in the village of Diwek in central Java and you're a super expert in rice farming!

The wine? Sorry, one wish per customer.

I wish for... um... Buddha, give me nirvana. But not yet.

[Heena Agarwal]

Granted. But he is on vacation. So you'll have to wait for a few years. Like just a 100 years. What is a hundred years these days!

I wish that ... that the sundays had at least 48 hours or the clock ticked slowly on sundays.

[Martin Vashko]

Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish that ... that the sundays had at least 48 hours or the clock ticked slowly on sundays.

(Since we get one wish per customer, I've chosen the variant you'll get).

Granted, but all physical processes will be slowed down by an equal amount.

I wish I could get to space some day.

[Chan Ag]

Ok, you are in space. But now you're overwhelmed by the waves of enemies and there are many ships attacking you. Oh these computer games, I tell you! :-)

I wish that I had a magical wand that could do all my assignments.

[Jeanne Boyarsky]

Chan Ag wrote:I wish that I had a magical wand that could do all my assignments.

Granted but "he who must not be named" is trying to kill you. (Harry Potter reference for anyone who hasn't read/seen it)

I wish that it got dark later in the evening.

(this is fun!)

[Jayesh A Lalwani]

Granted. it gets dark only for 2 hours

I wish I were thinner

[Jeanne Boyarsky]

Jayesh A Lalwani wrote:I wish I were thinner

Granted, but now you are 6 years old.

I wish people would stop putting code in JSPs. (too serious?)

[Heena Agarwal]

Jeanne Boyarsky wrote:
I wish people would stop putting code in JSPs. (too serious?)

Not yet. :-) Granted. the JSPs look lovely. Only the Java classes have html now.

I wish that I can think of a wish before someone else posts.

[R. Jain]

Granted. But that person will post same wish you thought of before you

I wish I could go back to my school days.

[fred rosenberger]

R. Jain wrote:I wish I could go back to my school days.

Granted. But now you have to take all your finals. Back to back. Starting in an hour. and you're hungover.

I wish I could play guitar.

[Bear Bibeault]

Poof, you are now a rock star with a bad drug habit.

I wish my headache would go away.

[Jesper de Jong]

Granted - the pain has been moved to your toes.

I wish I was 20 again.

[Paul Clapham]

Zap, you're 20 cm tall again.

I wish it would stop snowing.

(P.S. I'm giving Heena a cow for this fun thread.)

[Heena Agarwal]

Granted. But you can't stay indoors and it's cold. Also you've got to do the cleanup.

I wish that I could go on a two months vacation and still have my job.

Thanks for the cow, Paul.

[Jeanne Boyarsky]

Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish that I could go on a two months vacation and still have my job.

Granted. And now you are a mother of an infant so you can't rest on the "vacation."

I wish I knew the answer to the problem in my head.

[Robert D. Smith]

Jeanne Boyarsky wrote:

Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish that I could go on a two months vacation and still have my job.

Granted. And now you are a mother of an infant so you can't rest on the "vacation."

I wish I knew the answer to the problem in my head.

Granted -- but the refrain from a bad song will repeat indefinitely.

I wish I could juggle.

Regards,
Robert

[Scott Winterbourne]

Robert D. Smith wrote:
I wish I could juggle.

Granted but now you are stuck traveling with the circus. (might not be so bad )

I wish I could travel around the world for a year and not worry about the money running out.

[Bear Bibeault]

Granted. For the next year you are a government-funded satellite.

I wish for more time in a day.

[Martin Vashko]

Easy! Enjoy your new 28 Hour Day schedule.

I wish that some law of nature would prevent cables from entangling into Gordian knots at the very moment I let them off my hands.

[fred rosenberger]

Martin Vajsar wrote:Easy! Enjoy your new 28 Hour Day schedule.

I wish that some law of nature would prevent cables from entangling into Gordian knots at the very moment I let them off my hands.

Granted. They now tangle while still IN your hands.

I wish my wishes never get corrupted, but come true exactly like I hope they will.

[Tim Cooke]

Granted. But now life is boring and presents no challenge.

I wish I could read very very fast.

[Martin Vashko]

Here you are. Unfortunately, you've already read everything and now your urge to read is insatiable.

I wish I would remember everything I read.

[Jayesh A Lalwani]

Granted. But then you won't be able to forget anything that you want to forget

I wish I could get out of this meeting

[Bear Bibeault]

Granted. You're fired.

I wish people were more empathetic.

[Heena Agarwal]

Granted. All men and women who are not empathetic ( the indifferent, unfeeling bunch ) shall turn into zombies. Robots are granting wishes these days and they are poorly programmed. Their logic says that you are not an empathetic person after all, for you indirectly caused almost an entire civilization to turn into zombies.

I wish that I will be able to switch to a healthy lifestyle starting next week.

[Tim Cooke]

Granted. Unhealthy foods and drinks are no longer available. Motorised transport and courier services are outlawed. There is no more chocolate and you now have to walk, cycle, row, etc everywhere you need to go. Chocolate loving petrol-heads hate you.

I wish the Mac keyboard had a # character on it and didn't require a seemingly meaningless key combination, that I can never recall correctly first time, to get it.

[Jayesh A Lalwani]

(Hmm my mac keyboard has a # character.. it's shift+3.. so I guess your wish is granted)

Granted. Except now the power button is right next to delete, so occasionaly when you try to delete something, the screen goes off

I wish we had point to point teleportation (like star trek and Ringworld) so getting to work meant stepping on a pad

[Martin Vashko]

Congratulations on your invention! I, however, regret to inform you that the fail-safe design of your device, together with frequent jamming of the transport protocol, leads to a person being duplicated - on average - on every thousandth journey. This quickly leads to overpopulation, housing crisis, mass unemployment and complete breakdown of the pension systems, not mentioning the illegal "ideal organ donor" market. The only people who actually prosper from the invention are marriage counselors, who are providing coaching to families in which the duplication affected spouses unevenly.

I wish I could install a cold fusion electricity generator capable of powering my house for the rest of my life.

[Paul Clapham]

Granted. And now you're dead.

I wish I could turn off the stupid Caps Lock key on this keyboard.