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Thaddeus Moose Announces run for President of United States

 
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I’m proud to announce that Thaddeus Moose is running for President of the United States. You might know him as “The Moose”. Thaddeus is running on the Be Nice party ticket. As such, his campaign will not be saying anything about other candidates that is not nice. He expects the other candidates will not run attack ads about him; largely because he will not be perceived as a serious candidate. But hey, Trump wasn’t either at first so maybe it is an advantage.

Thaddeus pledges to make the country and world a nicer place. He will make this his number one issue. He also pledges for campaign reform. His campaign will not accept a single dollar in donations. Although if you want to donate, he wouldn’t mind if you donate to his political action committee and put some moo-lah in the tip jar.

I (Bender the Robot) am really excited to be Thaddeus’ campaign manager at this exciting time. In fact, I myself checked Thaddeus’ eligibility for President of the United States. Thaddeus Moose is a native born citizen of the United States having been initially drawn in the United States by Paul Wheaton. He’s had some plastic surgery (re-drawing) done since to look nicer. While Thaddeus Moose was born in 2000, it is a little known fact that he was frozen for 1000 years with Fry and woke up in the year 3000 for twenty years. He then figured out how to time travel back to five minutes after when he was frozen making him subjectively 36 years old and a permanent resident of the United States for the last 16 years. This makes Thaddeus eligible to run for President.


Image from http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2009/07/bull-moose.jpg

Sign up your cows to vote for Thaddeus here!
 
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Bender The Robot wrote:He then figured out how to time travel back to five minutes after when he was frozen making him subjectively 36 years old and a permanent resident of the United States for the last 16 years. This makes Thaddeus eligible to run for President.


Well, I'm all for it - but be warned Thaddeus: there will be naysayers who try to cast aspersions on your lineage. In fact, I wrote a little ditty about it back in 2008 (remember that campaign?):

What say you, Barack Obama?
Are you black, or are you grey?
And does it matter if your mama
Bore you in the USA?

Well, some say yes, and some say no
But this question does it beggar
Would the ‘yesses’ worry so
If your name was Schwarzenegger?

Winston
 
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When I look at Mr. Moose's name out of the corner of my eye I keep seeing "Trudeau" hiding behind "Thaddeus". This leads me to suspect a Canadian plot to infiltrate the USA and make it a nice place.
 
Winston Gutkowski
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Paul Clapham wrote:When I look at Mr. Moose's name out of the corner of my eye I keep seeing "Trudeau" hiding behind "Thaddeus". This leads me to suspect a Canadian plot to infiltrate the USA and make it a nice place.


Oh, good old Pierre. Love him or hate him, he was at least a force to be reckoned with - and easily the smartest PM Canada has ever had (with the possible exception of Lester B).

Winston
 
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Well, Bender didn't succeed in getting Thaddeus Moose on the ballot. It turns out the President of the United States has to be human. Oh well. He tried.
 
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Jeanne Boyarsky wrote:It turns out the President of the United States has to be human..



Where are the Roman days, when Incitatus, Gaius Caesar Augustus' favourite horse, made it to be consul. Should not we press charges for discrimination?

 
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Agree: horses v mooses is really severe discrimination
 
Jeanne Boyarsky
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It is a different office. Thaddeus Moose for consul?
 
Campbell Ritchie
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President or bust!
 
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