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Top 10 replies by programmers when their code doesn't work  RSS feed

 
Marshal
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Top 10 replies by programmers when their code doesn't work:

0. That’s weird…
1. It worked yesterday.
2. It’s never done that before.
3. How is that possible?
4. There is something strange in your data.
5. Oh, that was just a temporary fix.
6. I haven’t touched that code in weeks!
7. I thought I fixed that.
8. Actually, that’s a feature.
9. It works on my machine.

Maybe you have other, your favorite?
 
Ranch Hand
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HAHA you are right.
It worked on my machine maybe it is not supported on your machine.
 
Marshal
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My usual response is innapropriate for public consumption, even in Meaningless Drivel.
 
Marshal
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Well, you ought to have tested it
 
Sheriff
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It's a hardware problem.
 
Enthuware Software Support
Rancher
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What did you do?
 
Liutauras Vilda
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That's not a bug, it was designed to work like that.
 
Bartender
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Liutauras Vilda wrote:That's not a bug, it was designed to work like that.



The classic response is "That's not a bug, it's a feature".

I worked with a guy who said that an academic team used to reference documented bugs with "Serious users do not consider this a problem". The idea being that no one wanted to be considered as a lightweight (non-serious user) in academia, so they'd shut up and go away.
 
Tim Holloway
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I'm REALLY disappointed that no one has explicitly mentioned the classic "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

Universe.exe has stopped responding. Please reboot.
 
Campbell Ritchie
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Bit of a tangent, but the classic way of getting out of doing a particular piece of research is to describe it as

. . . beyond the scope of the current project.

 
Campbell Ritchie
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Tim Holloway wrote:. . . "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?" . . . .

That is for hardware. I did have to quote that, acknowledging Chris O'Dowd, because weakly reversible hardware may need to be switched off and on again occasionally to clear any stacks from memory.
 
Master Rancher
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I only changed one thing.
 
Liutauras Vilda
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I don't know, you need to tell me exactly what you want.
 
Author and ninkuma
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"Are you using IE?"
 
Tim Holloway
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Campbell Ritchie wrote:

Tim Holloway wrote:. . . "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?" . . . .

That is for hardware. I did have to quote that, acknowledging Chris O'Dowd, because weakly reversible hardware may need to be switched off and on again occasionally to clear any stacks from memory.



Oh you sweet innocent child. It's not about there actually being a problem with the hardware. It's about making the user go away for a while.
 
Saloon Keeper
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Incorrect platform/OS version:

"Why are you trying to run a program for Windows on a Mac?"
or
"Software was designed for Windows 7, not Windows 10."
 
Tim Cooke
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"User Error"
 
Knute Snortum
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PEBCAK
 
Rancher
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Unless I missed it, I didn't see anyone post the classic: "It doesn't work"

Nothing more annoying than being vague. I mean, come on, we all have our strengths, and I have seen some amazing answers provided by our esteemed bartenders, saloon keepers, sherffs and marshals with minimal details provided in the post, but no one has that crystal ball that magically gives them the necessary details to help resolve an extremely vague post.

In a "previous life", before I was a developer, I was a support tech. Oh, we had some doozys come our way, but "it doesn't work" seemed to always top them all. You're so tempted to just respond: Apparently neither do you, or else maybe it would work. But then you come to your senses and realize that might be a career limiting move.



 
Sheriff
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Liutauras Vilda wrote:7. I thought I fixed that.



It turns out that this one is my most common reaction.
 
Ranch Hand
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i need a cigarette
 
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