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Do you buy dresses for your significant other?  RSS feed

 
Enthuware Software Support
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If yes, do they wear them? If no, should you?
 
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I have a hard enough time picking out clothes for myself, let alone another person. When I'm feeling brave I can give jewelry a shot, but even then I prefer to just let them pick something for themselves before I treat them to it.
 
Marshal
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You do have to take her with you. There are various responses required whilst buying clothes for ♀s. Most entail viewing her actually wearing the garment in question.
  • 1: It doesn't fit you.
  • 2: The colour doesn't suit you.
  • 3: Your eyes would match blue/green/brown/black/sybluepink better. [delete as appropriate]
  • 4: The cut doesn't suit you.
  • 5: The skirt's too short.
  • 6: The skirt's too long.
  • 7: It makes you look fat, or a more assertive version, it makes you look pregnant.
  • 8: It would suit [your daughter] better, aka, it makes you look like mutton dressed up as lamb.
  • 9: It would suit [your mother] better, aka, it is only suitable for women older than you.
  • 10: You already have a [garment] exactly like that.
  • 11: It won't go with any of your handbags.
  • 12: It would suit you better with longer/shorter sleeves.
  • It does require a lot of patience. Nos 7, 8, and 9 can only be used in great desperation, but you will probably require all the others. No 10 might produce a response that the other garment is badly worn and she is really fond of it and would like another; if you are lucky, that will be a short‑circuiting terminal operation. No 11 is hazardous; it will produce an immediate request for a new handbag. After you have exhausted the entire list of objections, she will move to the next shop and you can start again. At that point, suggest going somewhere for a cup of tea, so you can sit down with the newspaper and get your breath back. Beer won't be acceptable, because you are on female territory, I am afraid. By the third shop, she will be eating out of your hand. That is when you need to keep your cool and your patience, however hard it may be. She will show her gratitude later.
    With any luck, you will eventually find something which does suit her. At that point you have to make sure she has a good look in the mirror and ask her whether she likes it too. Unfortunately you are not allowed to keel over and stop breathing when you see the price. Once the garment has been bought, it is really beautiful. For ever. All the above statements are now out of scope. Saying, “I told you it dodn't suit you when we went shopping,” will cause even more exceptions to be thrown than, “It makes you look pregnant.”

    You can do the same for ♂s, but the one about looking pregnant won't work. By the third shop, he will have lost all semblance of patience and will have steam coming out of his ears. At which point, ladies, murder is probably the easiest escape route.
     
    Stephan van Hulst
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    You are obviously a very experienced man, Campbell. I take my hat off. Have some pie.
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Thank you very much. I have been well trained by teenage daughters.
    The last shopping trip like that produced seven garments at £15.00 each on average.
    It would be disaster to recommend a garment which she doesn't like; you will be blamed for it for ever. If you deprecate a garment which she subsequently buys and likes, you can always retract the deprecation, but it doesn't work the other way round. It is far better to go round all the shops and buy nothing, except that she will want to go shopping again next week
     
    Marshal
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    No. She has a twin sister. The only one she trusts.

    I've never bought her clothes, but I bought once a handbag to surprise.
    The first thing what she asked was: "did you keep the receipt?".
    I think we didn't speak for a day afterwards.

    Recently I'm staying out of trouble.
     
    Paul Anilprem
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    I went with her once. She asked me which one I liked. I pointed to the one on the mannequin. Need I say more?

    But jokes aside, I think it says a lot if you are able buy one that she likes on your own.
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Paul Anilprem wrote:. . . buy one that she likes on your own.

    That might be possible for accessories (handbags), jewellery, or scarves, but I don't think it is possible for “real” clothes.
     
    Rancher
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    Liutauras Vilda wrote:I've never bought her clothes, but I bought once a handbag to surprise.
    The first thing what she asked was: "did you keep the receipt?".
    I think we didn't speak for a day afterwards.  



    I am not sure whether I admire your wife more for her sense of humour, or whether I really feel bad for you for making an effort only to be asked if you had kept the receipt...or both.

    I wouldn't dare buy my wife dresses or pants, but sweaters or shirts "seem" to be a safe bet for me (or at least so far in 25 years of marriage I seem to be doing ok in that dept), mainly because the sizes aren't confusing to me (small, medium, large) and I know she wears a medium size. I am a lousy judge of sizes in pants, so if I buy pants that end up being too large for her, I know she will presume I think she's fat. If I buy pants that are too small she will still think I think she is fat (implying that I bought her a smaller size on purpose as a hint that she needs to lose weight). So, I will stick to buying tops...

    As a side point to the question: For my daughter, when she was little it was easy - as long as it was really boldly colourful I was usually good. But once into her teen years, and then into her 20s, I gave up and just get a her a gift card to her favourite clothing store. Simple.

    Still trying to digest Campbell's post............  
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Randy Maddocks wrote:. . . sweaters or shirts "seem" to be a safe bet . . . because the sizes aren't confusing to me . . .

    Not on this side of the Pond, then. Blouse sizes vary greatly from shop to shop; the last time we did any shopping it was, “I'm a size XYZ,” and size XYZ − 4 actually fitted. As I said, she has to try the clothes on.
    I also think I ought to try these blouses; my daughter confessed to “borrowing” my shirts when she didn't have a clean school blouse. But that was years ago.

    Still trying to digest Campbell's post............  

    You can't digest it. You have to grit your teeth and fling yourself headlong into the shopping. Or let the ♀s go all by themselves.
     
    Randy Maddocks
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    Campbell Ritchie wrote:Not on this side of the Pond, then


    I am not even going to begin to admit I understand clothing (or shoe) sizes in the UK. Although, I was starting to get used to that system when we lived in Europe some years ago.

    I also think I ought to try these blouses; my daughter confessed to “borrowing” my shirts when she didn't have a clean school blouse. But that was years ago.


    Well, not to sound sexist, but I personally think women wearing mens' shirts is ok, but men wearing womens' shirts....hmm, on second thought, maybe I am just a "stick in the mud".  

    Or let the ♀s go all by themselves.



    ...and us guys can go for a pint.
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Randy Maddocks wrote:. . . I am not even going to begin to admit I understand clothing (or shoe) sizes in the UK. . . .

    They are actually not that different from American sizes, I think. Women's sizes always go up in 2s, so my − 2 from earlier means two sizes smaller. There is more difference between shops and between websites than there is across the Pond. But I took some time to work out that shirts are furnishings and what I thought was an ordinary shirt is a dress shirt.

    ...and us guys can go for a pint.

    But even now, the Missus says I am helpful when shopping because I can tell very quickly what suits her and what doesn't.
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Stephan van Hulst wrote:I have a hard enough time picking out clothes for myself . . .

    An experienced and honest salesperson can be really helpful (salesmen and saleswomen included). They can look at you and tell you which size to get in about 5″, and can tell you which garment tried on fits or doesn't almost as quickly. Which is why I like to try an old‑fashioned tailor's shop if at all possible.
     
    Liutauras Vilda
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    Randy Maddocks wrote:I am not sure whether I admire your wife more for her sense of humour, or whether I really feel bad for you for making an effort only to be asked if you had kept the receipt...or both.


    A bit of both. I guess when we reach 25 years of marriage same as you both (congratulations Randy, well done, that requires skills), I’ll develop too the skills so I could say: “honey, I brought the handbag you couldn’t resist”

    Differently than for Stephan, for myself to find clothes in a shop takes up to 30 minutes (including waiting time in a queue to pay).
     
    Marshal
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    No. He doesn't have the figure to pull off a dress.
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Liutauras Vilda wrote:. . . to find clothes in a shop takes up to 30 minutes (including waiting time in a queue to pay).

    Do you really have to queue for 29 minutes?
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Liutauras Vilda wrote:. . . 25 years . . .

    Mere beginners. We went to a 25th wedding anniversary bash last year and I had to confess it was my anniversary: 40 years exactly since I first met herself. And probably her anniversary too.
     
    Randy Maddocks
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    Liutauras Vilda wrote:I guess when we reach 25 years of marriage same as you both (congratulations Randy, well done, that requires skills)



    Thanks Liutauras! She deserves the credit, though, for putting up with me!  

    Campbell Ritchie wrote:But even now, the Missus says I am helpful when shopping because I can tell very quickly what suits her and what doesn't.



    That's huge Campbell. Do you know how few husbands out there can say that? Many many women out there, in my opinion, wouldn't be caught dead with their husbands when shopping for clothes, let alone getting their feedback on the clothes they are trying on.

    Bear Bibeault wrote:No. He doesn't have the figure to pull off a dress.



    For a quick moment I tried to picture myself in a dress.....I quickly put it out my mind.  
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Randy Maddocks wrote:. . . .....I quickly put it out my mind.  

    Agree. Otherwise we'll be shown a photo of a bear in a dress
     
    Bear Bibeault
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    Randy Maddocks
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    Angry bear in a dress - something you don't mess with!
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    That looks even scarier than Bear's usual pictures.
     
    Ranch Hand
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    Buying dresses for someone is almost impossible.

    I buy most of my dresses from the same store (I am rather tall so go specialist).

    Guess what? I still have to order 2 different sizes of every dress, and if I want 1 dress have to order 3, because 2 won't fit properly, the hips will be in the wrong place, or it will gape around the breast are the most common problems.

    So the chance of anyone else buying me dresses unless they are jersey sacks isn't going to happen.
     
    Ranch Hand
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    I bought something, it was exactly the right size, even though she said she needed a smaller size, but she does not want to wear it. Well, it was not family forum euh... You know, with the white socks of Bear, remember? But I knew her right size! I hope this does not get me banned by the way, my apologies in advance.
     
    Bartender
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    I have a different perspective on this :

    Do you buy dresses for your significant other?


    "buy" as in "a purchase" ? yes. Sometimes, I do make the payments.

    Do I actually select them ? No, campbell's reasons above covers all my cases.

     
    Ranch Hand
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    Is a mystery.
    I never understood why people like wearing clothes. And I work for a fashion company.
    For my girl? A mystery. Unfathomable.
    You buy dresses to fill a need of her. Understanding the underlying need is the key.
    I can tell you how I resolved. I have an eink ereader, and a phone with a lot of beautiful podcasts with anti noise headphones. When I go in the shopping areas, she goes inside and I enjoy listening music/podcasts, some snippet of code, or I start to read from my eink reader. What a blissful state

    When she buy I have always a genuine "nice"  that is not a fake reply but the fact that although I would personally wear a pijama, I like the colors, so for me every clothing is just "nice".

    I generally (unconsciously i guess) I find a girl with a beautiful body wearing a sexy outfit really attractive much more than in dresses that do not emphasize the girls body  but does not matter the color, the shape of the dress but the substance that is beyond the dress, at the same way I do not like make up on the faces.  Wearing for me is a mystery, is a kind of psychological extension, a self estimate espresso coffee.  You can have a beautiful dress but does not add nothing to the sympathy, intelligence, character, nice imperfections that girls or men can have.
     
    Greenhorn
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    Paul Anilprem wrote:If yes, do they wear them? If no, should you?


    Haha, such an interesting topic for a coding forum.
    Since my SO would be male, i would not buy him a dress :P. I tend to not be into that kind of man.
    But, to give a female perspective, I think I'd appreciate a dress from SO. Buying a dress for a woman can be very tricky tho. Women's sizes are NOT consistent at all. Maybe see if you could find a dress she has already and get the measurements to make sure it fits well. Plus there's the aspect of style. Maybe see if she has a pinterest; as pinterest is the place where women post the things they really want ;)
     
    Ranch Hand
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    I like this sentence:

    When a bride gets married she gets a new name and a dress(address).

    Thanks,

    Kevin
     
    Bear Bibeault
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    kevin Abel wrote:I like this sentence:

    When a bride gets married she gets a new name and a dress(address).


    That joke is a bit antiquated. In most of the mixed-gender marriages within my circles, the wife kept her name, and in some cases the husband moved in with the wife. For the same-gender marriages, it doesn't make sense at all -- there are either two brides, or none at all.
     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Katherine Mejia wrote:. . . . I'd appreciate a dress from SO. . . .

    It shows the dangers of abbreviations. I came back to this thread and found myself wondering, “Why on earth would anybody want a dress from StackOverflow?”

    the place where women post the things they really want ;)

    That's all very well,  but the whole idea of going shopping is to find out what you want.
     
    Katherine Mejia
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    Campbell Ritchie wrote:

    Katherine Mejia wrote:. . . . I'd appreciate a dress from SO. . . .

    It shows the dangers of abbreviations. I came back to this thread and found myself wondering, “Why on earth would anybody want a dress from StackOverflow?”


    That would be easy. You just ask the people on StackOverflow how to make a dress, they make the dress for you, then you just have to copy/paste it XD XD XD

     
    Campbell Ritchie
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    Katherine Mejia wrote:. . .  then you just have to copy/paste it XD XD XD

    Hahahahahahahahaha!
     
    It is sorta covered in the JavaRanch Style Guide.
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