Ways to cope with additional challenges that verbal communication brings compared to written

[Monica Shiralkar]

What I am observing is that when I write something and communicate (on email, chat, or jira status board), it is a lot better and correct than when I do it in speaking where at times I make mistake and then realize I should have spoken differently. I analyzed and found that the reason is that in written communication, one has the luxury of organizing thoughts, reframing it and then revisiting it quickly to verify and validate and then send, whereas in spoken communication your mind has to work quickly and accurately in that moment itself. What are some ways to cope up with this ? Thanks

[Jeanne Boyarsky]

Pracitce. I'm a big fan of Toastmasters. And practicing by having bullets/ideas ready.

[Campbell Ritchie]

Jeanne, do you think MS is familiar with Toastmasters?
I agree with jeanne about being prepared in advance, too. Make notes of what you are going to say, or similar. It becomes more difficult when somebody springs a questionyou hadn't expected, or the conversation takes an unexpected turn.

[Campbell Ritchie]

If you have a speech or presentation, present it to somebody who can tell you how to improve it. I once did that and got a grade A instead of a grade B. I also once got somebody to show me his presentation and the “real thing” was much better because he took my comments on board.

[Jeanne Boyarsky]

Campbell Ritchie wrote:Jeanne, do you think MS is familiar with Toastmasters?

I don't know. It's an international organization.

[Monica Shiralkar]

Jeanne Boyarsky wrote:And practicing by having bullets/ideas ready.

Thanks. I think that means writing short points on paper to be ready.

[Monica Shiralkar]

Campbell Ritchie wrote:If you have a speech or presentation, present it to somebody who can tell you how to improve it. .

Thanks. This is good way.
The actual issue though is that I experience problem when it is not a preplanned thing but dynamically one has to think quickly and speak on something being discussed at the moment. I speak ok but not as good as written communication where I would have written those sentences and reframed them before sending.In verbal it happens quickly.May be one has to slow down the pace sometimes to pause for few seconds , reframe the thoughts and speak instead of just uttering out something from mouth and correcting it by saying next sentence.

[Junilu Lacar]

One thing that has helped me is slowing down. Purposely don't talk as fast as you're used to. Be very deliberate in choosing your words and phrases. This will also have somewhat of a calming effect and the audience will perceive you as being more confident in what you're saying. I have a colleague who speaks very fast and it's 1) annoying because it seems so frantic and 2) the ideas they want to convey get all jumbled up and the thoughts are not focused.

Pick a point you want to make and try to stay on point without a lot of digressions. I notice that in myself and others sometimes and I consciously watch for that as I am speaking.

[Campbell Ritchie]

I once stood a young woman up in the Church Hall and told her to read a passage out loud. It helped that there were several other people there talking too. “Move farther back.” “Louder…slower…”
She wass clearly audible above everybdy else talking.
A friend once said, “If you think you are talking too slowly, talk slower.”

[Monica Shiralkar]

Junilu Lacar wrote:I speaks very fast and it's 1) annoying because it seems so frantic and 2) the ideas they want to convey get all jumbled up and the thoughts are not focused.

Pick a point you want to make and try to stay on point without a lot of digressions. I notice that in myself and others sometimes and I consciously watch for that as I am speaking.

Thanks. I had the idea that one should speak slowly but now I know the exact reasons for it.

Very useful points. I would have liked to grant a cow for this but don't have the privilege.

[Monica Shiralkar]

Campbell Ritchie wrote:
A friend once said, “If you think you are talking too slowly, talk slower.”

What does this mean ?

[Monica Shiralkar]

Junilu Lacar wrote:try to stay on point without a lot of digressions..

Could you please give an example of staying on a point without a lot of digressions.

[Junilu Lacar]

Monica Shiralkar wrote:

Junilu Lacar wrote:try to stay on point without a lot of digressions..

Could you please give an example of staying on a point without a lot of digressions.

It's nice that you seem to be very curious but if I could be totally honest with you, these kind of questions are quite annoying. You only had to go and do a search on the internet to find out more instead of asking us to go into a full explanation of everything we comment on. Help yourself by helping yourself.

https://www.eapfoundation.com/listening/lectures/digressions/

[Junilu Lacar]

Monica Shiralkar wrote:

Campbell Ritchie wrote:A friend once said, “If you think you are talking too slowly, talk slower.”

What does this mean ?

Ditto for this: meaning of if you think you're talking too slowly, talk slower

[Monica Shiralkar]

Understood. The answer lies in the meaning of digressions. Point is to not move away from the main topic.

[Campbell Ritchie]

Junilu, that link added no end to what I was told originally (thank you). He meant that if you start worrying, you talk more quickly and degenerate into incomprehensibility. That article shows there is so much more to it.

[Campbell Ritchie]

Monica Shiralkar wrote:Understood. . . .

Maybe you were writing about something else, in which case sorry for my mistake, but I am afraid I think you haven't understood the article Junilu quoted. It mostly isn't about digressions.

[Monica Shiralkar]

Campbell Ritchie wrote:
but I am afraid I think you haven't understood

What I understood is that say what you want to convey ,slowly without moving away from the topic (which is a common mistake ).

When one speaks one may be doing mistakes such as 1) speaking hurriedly where what you want to convey may sound jumbled up. 2) moving away from the topic

This one talked about the second one.

[Junilu Lacar]

Campbell Ritchie wrote:He meant that if you start worrying, you talk more quickly and degenerate into incomprehensibility. That article shows there is so much more to it.

Yes, the phrase "nervous chatter" comes to mind. Doesn't come off very well, certainly not when you're trying to make a point.