A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Administratium".
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4
days to complete when it would normally take only a few minutes.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay
but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons
exchange places, and additional peons are added.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as