After reading your post, I really can feel you. I have just started with programming and actually syntax is really fine for me. It is the programming part and the way to approach the problem is one of my biggest issues.
Sometimes I have even thought since I got older now that my brain has its limits. I find this community very helpful and courteous. I will definitely start anew and take the suggestions and recommendations of the community member deeply to heart.
Let's go this journey together and gain a lot of exciting insights.