The price of love
By Imdad Soomro
Balkh Sher Mahar and Shaista Almani's love story has ended in divorce, but as history shows their fate is similar to others who dared to fall in love, writes Imdad Soomro.
Balkh Sher Mahar walked into court with his head bowed and declared: "I've divorced her in order to stop the bloody feud between the two tribes." Those present immediately commented that Mahar cared for tribal values but not for Shaista Almani, the woman he had married for love but was now divorcing. She, they said, had nothing to look forward except death. "This would also be the death of imagination for her," someone in the courtroom was heard saying.
With divorce, has the love the couple felt for each other ended? and is this the conclusion of their love story? Many see their tale as a repetition of other love stories in the Indus Valley, where, when a woman falls in love, she signs her own death warrant. Love is a "crime" which has been committed for centuries.
Soon after Mahar divorced Almani, a discussion opened in the Sindhi press. Mahar reportedly bade farewell to his wife onone foggy morning in Lahore and handed her the papers of divorce. "Mahar is accountable before Shaista and the conscience of Sindh," wrotecolumnist Omer Qazi. "What he did is a lesson for others who want to rebel but it is a lesson of great dismay."
A section of columnists and writers urge that his decision to divorce is a grave defeat of civil society which failed to protect Almani. But Aijaz Mangi glorified Mahar in Ibrat when he wrote, "Mahar would've never done what he did to Almani if the crowd had been sympathetic with him." He criticized feminists accusing them of not knowing the real dangersthat loom in upper Sindh.
To contradict Mangi another columnist, Javed Qazi, came to Almani's defence and said, "Almani proves what Bhittai's heroines had said. The real lover is a woman who is always trapped by a man." He calls Mahar her only enemy. Numeorous editorials and poems have been dedicated to Almani; judges and lawyers recite Romeo and Juliet in the courtrooms. But can she be saved by poems and sympathetic gestures?
It seems that women in this part of the world suffer when they fall in love.
Two-and-a-half centuries ago, the great mystic poet Shah Abdul Lateef Bhittai sang about a woman, named Suhni, who gave her life for her beloved, Mehaar. She had been married but disliked her husband, and had then fallen in love with Mehaar.
According to this folk tale, Suhnicrossed the mighty river Indus to meet Mehaar but she drowned. The dark and bleak nights did not frighten her. On the other hand, Mehaar did not try to contact her and nor did he even cross the river once.
Some people of Sindh consider Suhni to be a kari who deceived her husband but Bhittai wrote verses about her in which he highlighted his deep affection for her. He praised Suhni as she suffered a lot and dared to cross the river. Bhittai had written about the river that, "Darya tu tey danhnn dendias denhn qayam ji" (O, the merciless river, I will stand against you in the hour of judgment).
Bhittai's heroes in his poetry were women. The story of Sassi and Pannu is another folk tale and is a symbol of struggle and darkness. Sassi is said to have climbed the mountains, thirsty and hungry in search of Pannu. Bhittai saw her as the symbol of struggle and sorrows. Sindhi revolutionaries and patriots of the past get courage from Bhittai's poems aboutSassi.
Momal, another character of his poems, burnt herself to prove that she was innocent in her love for Raano who had left her in seclusion.
Bhittai, thus, proves that a woman in the subcontinent is more sincere and sacrificing than a man. "Men are flying-birds", says Abdul Qadir Junejo, a well-known playwright and novelist. "But a woman makes a nest when she falls in love."
In his story Watoon, ratiyoon aien roll (Narrow paths, nights and wanderers) he narrates a tale of a woman's love. "While having no way out, she asked her beloved if he would shoot her if there was no chance of survival."
Junejo has great know how ofsuch cases in upper Sindh, as when he was a child he spent many years with his father who was in the police force. Women are more sincere in love than men, he says.
Fatah Malik, poet and advocate, is of the view that women have greater natural resistance than men, especially in a primitive agriculture society like ours. "A woman has no option, so what you call love is breathing for them," he says.
Although the industrial revolution brought a change in values in the rest of the world, the same did not happen in this part of the world. In Shaista Almani's case Fatah Malik seems inclined to give an opportunity to Mahar. "He's not a deceiver but he's helpless. Perhaps he still deserves a chance."
A year ago, Sonaheri, an 18-year-old girl in Tangvani, left her home at midnight to meet a man, Hakim from the Chachar tribe, in a nearby field. The next day farmers found the girl'sbody. That was the price she paid for daring to love.
Journalist Zahid Noon from Shikarpur narrates the story of a 24-year-old married woman from the Bhutta tribe who, last month, fled to the thick forest to meet a man from the Punhwar tribe, near Rahimabad. "While she was gunned down, her beloved fled and left her at the mercy of murderers," the journalist reported.
Ishaque Mangario, an anthropologist and journalist, wrote on this same phenomenon. "When he was frightened, or unable to meet her, she managed to send a message to him, saying: 'If you are frightened, then give me your kulhari and take my jewelry'."
These forbidden lovers operate in a separate system, using secret signs to communicate messages to one another, be it their feelings or where they are supposed to meet.For example, cardamom indicates fragrance of bliss, kajal means their beloved's eyes are black and beautiful, misri-sweet symbolizes that you are as sweet as a misri flower which shows that one's beloved is so beautiful.
In this way some useblack threads which used to be a sign that one's beloved should be cautious ofa dangerousmove and happening and red threads suggest an uneasy atmosphere which is mostly bad for the loved ones.
Such are the traditions surrounding love.Although such occurrances are slowly changing but these things still exist in remote areas. However, the worst examples of barbarism over minor things have been reported.
This past Eid, four women, two young sisters, a relative and a 10-year-old girl were killed on a charge that one of the two sisters, Anaytaan, received a packet of sweetmeat. As a result, Eid turned into a bloody day in the Ghotki district.
In a tiny village in Aalo Goth in Rahim Yar Khan district, a girl, Shahnaz, spent some hours with a young Hindu boy. As a result she was poisoned along with her relative Basheeran. Unconfirmed reports suggest that they survived but they would now live under great humiliation.
Throughout the ages, the Indus river has received the bodies of numerous women who were unrecognizable. If a passerby saw abody in the canal he would rarely cover her with a chadar. Then, if time allowed him, he would tell irrigation officials or informthe police. This attitude is still there.
Writers and poets have written a lot on the tragedies which occur here every day. Shaikh Ayaz's poetry chronicles "amaan wo moonkhey kari karey marenda /toon ta mookhey bandheni paranee par who moonkhey kari karey marenda" (Mother, they will kill me attributing me a kari, may you clad me up in bandheni [a thari traditional dress] but they'll kill me). Such tragedies, documented by the likes of Noorul Huda Shah, continue today but is this province destined to have tragic love stories for the rest of its life? Who will come along and change the destinies for those who dare to love?
